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I'm losing it.

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
I had a baby on the boob from 10pm til 8am. They won't sleep unless my areola is touching them so that means only one sleeps while the other screams. No amount of holding, rocking or putting a binky in their mouths will pacify the other. I'm spent. I felt like I pulled stitches last night in the baby shuffling and i've been bleeding red again. This only seems to happen when i'm doing nighttime baby care... how do I get around THAT? It's not like i'm running marathons! I can take a flight of stairs and not have a prob, but rolling in bed to grab a screaming baby gets me. I had 2 panic attacks last night and my blood pressure is still high and i'm getting scared! I don't know what to do!
post #2 of 25
Oh mama, deep breaths and big hugs! Your babes are still really new, right? I remember how hard it was in the first three months especially.

Have you tried to prop up pillows up under your arms so you can sit up/half lie down to tandem nurse? I left a group of pillows like that and then just shimmied the babies and myself down to a complete lying position when they were back to sleep.

I'm sorry your body is still healing, too. Is there anyone who can come stay with you for a few days so they can be there in the night for help? My mom stayed with me the first 10 days after my babes came home, and that is the only reason I survived those early, sore body days.

I wish I were there to help you; honestly, I do. More hugs to you.
post #3 of 25


Man, those first few weeks are so hard! I remember some marathon nursing sessions, particularly with my boy twin. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this now.

Does anyone else help with night care of the babies? Some nights in those first few weeks, we'd fall asleep in bed side by side, each of us with a baby on our chest. That won't help with the nursing issue, but maybe some skin to skin would help? Swaddling helped us a lot to keep them resting once I had them down, since they wouldn't start as much when I'd slide away. Will they take a finger in the mouth at all?

I'm sorry I'm not much help-- just trying to think of things that helped us survive the first few weeks. Just remember that it DOES get better. Hang in there!

post #4 of 25
First- Congratulations!!

Second- I know how you are feeling since I was where you are a month ago. You will make it!! Life is actually pretty pleasant here with 5 weeks olds and I've had a uterine infection, strep throat (thanks to a hosp. birth: ) and lyme disease in that time.

Each night is going to be different (as will each day). I know body and breast type play a factor, but try to find a way to let both nurse at the same time (or quasi-nurse if that is what they want/need). I can't believe the babies tolerate it, but I side lie and have one nursing "normally" on the bottom breast and then toss the other baby so she is draped across my side with her face down on my breast, barely able to reach a nipple. (with her feet on the bed near my back) But it works in the sense that that baby is happy with it. Try to find something that is workable for now even if it is not ideal. Will the waiting child take a finger to suck? My kids would sometimes take a finger, even if they though a pacifier was poison!

You still are recovering from a lot. Not just birth, but from being pregnant. It takes time unfortunately, but you can't change that. Although it seems "wrong" that when we most need to feel well and be on top of our game is when we are struggling physically and emotionally. (I hate when this was said to me, and I'm sorry to say it to you, BUT... your hormones are messing with you sister. Again, nothing but time will help that!)

Hang in there. Let everything go that you can. Let others do things you can't even imagine letting them do even though they'll do it "wrong" or differently. Your girls will make it all worthwhile, even though you feel like it is all falling apart now. Take the credit you deserve- You ARE doing it.

oh and one last bit of advice that is working for me- chocolate!
post #5 of 25
Just wanted to send you hugs and encouragement -- it is SOOOOOO freaking hard these first weeks (and months... and years...) but especially right now. I also want to echo those who have suggested tandem-ing if possible. If you could ask a partner to help prop them with a ton of pillows, you might even be able to sleep while they are attached. At one point, I felt like a queen (well, except for the whole country to rule part)... I was in the middle of our queen-sized bed alone, a thousand pillows and my EZ2nurse around me (well, maybe 10) and the remote control nearby so I could watch bad episodes of CSI and Law and Order and The View.

Hang in there.... you are doing an awesome job.
post #6 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumm View Post
Each night is going to be different (as will each day). I know body and breast type play a factor, but try to find a way to let both nurse at the same time (or quasi-nurse if that is what they want/need). I can't believe the babies tolerate it, but I side lie and have one nursing "normally" on the bottom breast and then toss the other baby so she is draped across my side with her face down on my breast, barely able to reach a nipple. (with her feet on the bed near my back) But it works in the sense that that baby is happy with it. Try to find something that is workable for now even if it is not ideal. Will the waiting child take a finger to suck? My kids would sometimes take a finger, even if they though a pacifier was poison!

You still are recovering from a lot. Not just birth, but from being pregnant. It takes time unfortunately, but you can't change that. Although it seems "wrong" that when we most need to feel well and be on top of our game is when we are struggling physically and emotionally. (I hate when this was said to me, and I'm sorry to say it to you, BUT... your hormones are messing with you sister. Again, nothing but time will help that!)

Hang in there. Let everything go that you can. Let others do things you can't even imagine letting them do even though they'll do it "wrong" or differently. Your girls will make it all worthwhile, even though you feel like it is all falling apart now. Take the credit you deserve- You ARE doing it.

oh and one last bit of advice that is working for me- chocolate!
Yep! I agree all the way, especially the chocolate part!!!!!!!

Can you get a recliner? That way you could get set up so each babe has a breast and you are relaxed and able to sleep? Or perhaps they could take turns sleeping in a swing part of the night?

We each took a baby and slept with them draped over us for a few weeks (it seemed to help the tender tummies). Then we learned to put them to bed on their tummies too . But they slept 3 hour streches instead of 20 minutes.

I also swaddled them and used white noise (A fan). Those helped too.
post #7 of 25
Thread Starter 
they sleep best on someone or in the swing, so we're moving the crib back to their room and putting the swings in our room. I'm also thinking of moving a big chair (one of those circle fake papasan ones) into the room so I can use the ez to nurse at night. I currently have one baby in the swing and one in the wrap and the house is quiet. Maybe I can snooze on the couch or something.
post #8 of 25
my husband slept with one on his chest and I slept with one in my lap. the papasan chair thing is a great idea. after i stopped letting my husband stay up and help, I would sleep with both of them in my lap. I slept in the chair for about 3 months until we started nursing well. (we had nursing issues though)
post #9 of 25
Oh fyre, you poor thing! I really don't have much in the way of advice, but
I wanted to say hang in there and get your dp's to help at night!! They can be a little sleep deprived! Sorry your girls aren't sleeping well. I swear it's a girl thing, my dd still doesn't sleep. You just gotta find your rythym. Good luck!
post #10 of 25
I don't have twins yet, but honestly those hormones are making you crazy, mama! They always do! My best friend just delivered last week and had several weepy days. It IS hard, and you ARE sleep deprived. Are you sure they are getting enough milk? I ask b/c my first did not on day 2 or 3, my mom gave her formula (while I cried b/c of what a failure I was at BFing) for one feeding, then we all slept. When I woke up my milk was in, and then we had the whole engorgement issues! THat was the only formula she ever had, but it was enough to fill her up when my milk was not in, no shame in that! Ask everyone to help out. You NEED to be sharing nightime responsibilities w/ someone, either a DP or parent, or even a really good friend. Try other comforting measures than BFing. If they are not hungry, try bouncing or swaddleing or skin to skin contact. Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what they want, and sometimes we just have to cry with them. Good Luck and I am sure it will get better as the weeks fly by (and they WILL fly by!). I have had 2 babies and am very anxious about having to care for twins! I know it is an incredible task and I am sure it will take everything you have. Rest and get help! Let everything else go and sleep whenever you can!

Best of Luck!
post #11 of 25
Oh gosh I remember those first few weeks being the best and worst weeks of my life. Everybody gave great advice, especially sleeping with one. During those first two weeks my husband and I would each sleep on the couch each with a baby on our chest. Swaddling also helped a lot as my one twin liked to be swaddled really tight.

Hang in there, I promise it gets better....
post #12 of 25
Big hugs. It's been 4.5y but I remember the first night at home with my twins, sitting in the middle of my queen sized bed surrounded by about 325252 pillows, with two babies who wouldn't be moved. It will pass, and get better.
post #13 of 25
Now that you mention it, I remember sleeping upright for most nights of the first few weeks-- pillows behind my back to keep me upright, and babies on the ez-2-nurse pillow. Hopefully that, and the swings, will help.

Hang in there...
post #14 of 25
Hugs to you fyrebloom. And ditto to what the PPs have said. I also slept semi-upright for awhile. It was easier to tandem nurse wee bitty wobbly headed babies but it was also easier to get up while still healing from surgery. I also had good luck putting each babe into a sling or pouch and sitting in the rocking chair. The slings meant I wouldn't drop a babe if I fell asleep and made lighter work for my arms holding them in place to nurse. We could often transition to bed or even the bathroom without a major wake-up screaming session. I also have two solarveil slings and would put a babe in each and stand in the shower until the hot water ran out.

Both my twins HATED the swing when they were that age. It also took weeks before they would sleep snuggled to DH. They wanted boob even when they weren't hungry. I joked that I could walk around the house with DD hanging from one nipple because she just wouldn't let go!

Like the PPs have said, it DOES get better. You'll heal; they'll grow and you'll all get better acquainted with each other. Meanwhile some help and chocolate may take the edge off. Hugs again!
post #15 of 25
mama! I slept downstairs on the couch with my feet propped up and pillows under each arm. DH also slept on the couch most of the night so he could have a babe on his chest. We were able to rotate the babies through the swing sometimes as well. K in particular would give me 3-5 hours at night in the swing and O would sleep on DH's chest for just as long. I just gave up on stairs completely for the first 6 weeks. It was more like 12 weeks before all of us were sleeping upstairs at night. Do whatever works.
post #16 of 25
I slept in a really comfy old recliner in our bedroom with both babies permanently boob attached for the first 2 months. Honestly, I got MUCH more sleep that way vs. our bed. Hang on mama....I SWEAR it does get easier. It really does. People had to tell me that over and over, but I am now there and it is true.
post #17 of 25
I remember sitting in bed in propped up with pillows for days while I waited for my EZ2nurse pillow to arrive. We found that DS would do well in a bouncy seat that also vibrates. Both DS and DD loved sleeping on either of us.

I remember hearing that it will get better and wanting to cry. I'm not sure that "better" is the best way to describe it. Every day is different and sometimes just having things be different was enough.

I still have babes that love to just be near my nipple. Both of them have a habit of unlatching and just hanging out with their mouth pressed up against my breast and if I move them they will wake up and protest. I'm learning that if they start to comfort suck I need to get them off before they fall asleep. I think that mine wake up and are pissed off because they fell asleep with my nipple in their mouth and want it back.

I agree with mamajody, do whatever works.
post #18 of 25
Sending hugs and agreement with all of the above. Except the part from the singleton mom who said its your hormones. Um, not actually. It's not sleeping ever for days and weeks and months. And the high blood pressure. And the surgery. And trying to learn nursing with two new human beings at once. And of course hormones are there as well, along with everything. I don't actually recall sleeping the first three months, though I am aware that I would tell myself that I had slept three non-consecutive hours in most 24-hour periods.

As so many have said, think through what you can do to make it survivable and go for it. Hugs and blessings.
post #19 of 25
Thread Starter 
OMG they SLEPT tonight! They both spent the day permanently attached, and one literally nursed until she puked it ALL back up. I'm wondering if it's not hunger but something like an allergy. I'm going to stop drinking milk JIC and see if it helps the fussyness. I also discovered I was swaddling wrong. My son liked just his arms swaddled, they like being tightly swaddled and have their feet tucked in tight too. The swings in my bedroom was awesome and has worked well with them.
post #20 of 25
I am happy to hear that things went better last night
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