Allowance and Chores

[mamajake]

I have three sons, ages 7, 10, and 13. I don't have friends with kids those ages and don't really trust my neighborhood standards. How much allowance do kids these ages get these days? Is the allowance in exchange for household chores and, if so, which ones? I have just started making my oldest do his own laundry (which often seems like more trouble than it's worth). The older two have to make their own breakfast and lunch.

The allowance issue has recently come to a head because my boys want portable electronics (Gameboy type things) that I am not willing to pay for.

Thanks.

[Maiasaura]

i have one ds, age 6.5. he doesn't have "regular chores" aside from basically helping me when i need it. sometimes he pitches a fit and sometimes he doesn't.

he does get an allowance. right now it's $1 a week. he doesn't understand denominations of money. he still says "a piece of money" when he finds a dime or a penny on the ground. : silly boy.
i may raise it when he gets a better understanding of what each "piece" is worth.

his allowance is not tied to chores. he gets that $1 a week regardless. he can do "over and above" chores for money. usually those are *my* chores. either i don't feel like doing them, and offer to pay him to do them for me, or he wants to earn extra money and wants to know what he can do to get it. if they are not MY chores, they are things that would normally not get done in any week, like washing windows.

if he wants big ticket items (like a Gameboy), he has to earn it himself. but since he is only 6 and doesn't make much money-- $1 a week isn't much-- i may decide to match him dollar for dollar if he can earn half. he's pretty loathe to do any extra work for anything at all. he'd rather wait the 40 weeks to earn the $40 for the big macdaddy transformer than do extra chores and get it in half the time

HTH,
pamela

[philomom]

No allowance for chores here. We all do house chores because it makes the house a nicer place to live and hang out. Everyone does chores, even the breadwinning daddy. They get allowance to learn to spend or save.

[ASusan]

:that:

You do chores because you're part of the family.

You get an allowance because you need to learn how to manage money and make independent purchasing/saving decisions (with help for younger ones).

At 13, an allowance can cover:

*school lunches & afterschool "snacks" not brought from home, (this may encourage packing own lunch/snacks, so that lunch money can be used for other things.);

*entertainment (maybe enough for a movie or other outing a week or every other week);

*clothing and cosmetics outside what parents might typically budget. (Or, you can include a clothing portion, based on what you typically spend for clothes - just give the money to your teen on a regular basis, instead of you purchasing clothes);

I can't think of anything else...

You might pay a teen or child for large (or small) chores above and beyond everyday chores. I got paid to mow the lawn, wash windows, and tackle large projects, but my daily and weekly chores weren't tied to allowance.

[mamajake]

Can anyone else volunteer the dollar amount of allowance they give kids of certain ages? Kids in my neighborhood seem to get huge allowances or even dollar amounts at birthdays that amount to enormous stipends. Also, all the ten year olds have cell phones (is it me?) and iPods they don't pay for themselves. I don't live in a wealthy neighborhood so I am wondering whether I have become woefully out of touch.

Thanks.

[my2boys9703]

I have 3 boys as well They are 10, 4 and 14 months old.

My 2 oldest have chores that they do everyday which includes taking the laundry down, cleaning their rooms, tidying up around the house, putting the garbage out, helping set the table etc. My 10 yr old gets $5 allowance per week and my 4 yr old gets $2- just because he doesn't do as much.

My boys don't have any cell phones or any other fancy new electronics aside from their game boys.

My boys also have 2 piggy banks each one is savings and one is spending and they have to put some into savings every week from their allowance. Then every few months they empty out their spending stash and buy something they want. The savings piggy gets emptied twice a year and put into their bank accounts.


Lucy

[sunflowers]

My son gets $20 every other week. It is not directly tied to chores although he is required to do his share. The $10/wk was orginally for him to spend on school lunches but he decided he'd rather pack his own lunch and save the money. It works for us. He'll probably get a bump to $15/wk this year since he's starting HS. It'll likely be the last raise he'll get since soon he'll be able to get a PT job if he needs more money.

I will give him some money for particular things- like a few dollars if he wants to see a movie or needs to buy his yearbook for example- but he is really good about saving his money for the extras that he wants.

He does have a cell phone that I pay for. He got it for his 15th bday and as long as he stays within his plan minutes, I'll continue to pay for it. It's more for me than him. I like to be able to contact him sometimes and I like to know that he can call me in case his plans change or an emergency.

He wants an ipod but he'll have to save for that if he wants it.

[incorrigible]

.

[Ruth S]

My daughters (11 and 13) both get $10 a month. It is not tied to chores. They can ask to do extra stuff for money (weeding). We buy their clothes and movie tickets etc, but this is starting to change with the older one as she goes out more with her friends and as she earns money babysitting. We may also start giving her a clothing allowance soon (though I will retain veto power on the clothes and shoes!).

They have their own accounts in our QuickBooks programme, where we deposit their $10 a month. We pay them a high interest rate to teach them the value of saving. We have a system of deposit and withdrawal slips that we print out and they fill out if they ask for gum at checkout, buy books, want a new nintendo game etc, or if they earn extra money.

There's a good book out there called The First National Bank of Dad by David Owen that talks about this kind of account.

[Marcee]

My boys ages 7,9, and 11 each get paid 7.00 per week. Two dollars of that is donated to charity. We sponsor a child. And we shop for and donate to the local food bank. (I pay half of the sponsorship and half of the groceries for the food bank)

[Jenlaana]

My DS is 12 yrs old. I tried giving him an allowance for helping out and it ended up being more work trying to get him to help. He wanted to negotiate out of everything. It drove me NUTS. Eventually I came to the realization that I shouldn't be fighting with him to get his stuff done AND paying him to do it as well. THe end result was that DS doesnt get an allowance, but he still does his chores because he is a part of the family and we all do our part. During the school year he does a lot less, but he is generally responsible for picking up all the floors and helping me out with whatever I need help with. His dad works all day, I take care of the babies and my business and run the household and he assists me and does his school work.

[embers]

In our home, we do have responsibilities and housework that needs done daily. We also have allowance. They are not attached at all. This is the document posted on our wall concerning money:

Concerning Money

•Each child will receive $20 on the 1st and the 15th of every month.
•This allowance is not attached to “chores”, behavior, or actions; each child will receive their allowance twice a month regardless of other circumstances.
•When, where, and how you spend your money is your own business; you have total freedom with your allowance.
•No one may “pre-spend” or borrow their next allowance; no fronts or forwards.
•No one may borrow money from each other. At no time will any child owe another child money in our home. You may give your money to anyone you like, but there will be no loans.
•It should go without saying, but NO ONE MAY STEAL MONEY. We are all safe, secure, and our needs are met – there is no reason to steal. If it does happen, the person that stole may be required (in addition to returning the money promptly) to participate in professional therapy specifically focused on the subject of theft.
•Each person is responsible for their own money. I encourage you to not leave money sitting out, in pockets that go into the laundry (pockets are not always checked), in the car, etc. I suggest that you come up with a system for keeping your money – something that works well for you. Wallets, boxes, “piggy” banks, or drawers often work well. If you are responsible with your money, there will be no need for talks about it being lost or taken. If you need help keeping your money safe, or accounting for how it is being spent, please ask… we will do everything we can to help!
•You may ask for things at any time (candy bars, sodas, a new hat, etc). The answer will not always be “yes”, but please feel free to ask. We like providing for the kidz in our family, and that includes providing fun.
•Please try not to ask for money for things, however. If you want money, please ask for ideas on how to earn money, and then be ready and willing to listen to suggestions and put forth some effort. Please consider the virtue of saving your allowance for things that you want, as well. This route affords you more freedom of choice in how and when to spend your money.
•If you need money for an event (a trip to the beach with a friend, etc), please write out a plan and the amount that you need. We will try our best to provide you with the money or help you earn it.
•If you want more money than the bi-monthly allowance, please brainstorm on ways to earn money. We will help you endlessly, as long as you are doing your footwork.

Some ideas for making money
1.Lawn and yard care. We can help you make flyers, get supplies, put out ads, etc… but you will have to do the work.
2.“Mother’s Helper” for others (watching children and helping in the house while someone is home). We can help you make flyers, get supplies, put out ads, etc… but you will have to do the work.
3.Write for our website. We will help endlessly, as long as you are willing and working hard.
4.Make your own website. We can provide the webspace and help, as long as you are willing and working hard. We can make nearly any idea work, but it is up to you to come up with the idea.
5.Make things to sell. We can help with some brainstorming, getting supplies, and advertising.
6.Come up with an idea that is not listed. We will help anyway that we can!

Remember: In addition to spending your money, you may save your money, you may invest your money, and you may donate your money. Please ask us for information and ideas on these topics.

[UnschoolnMa]

We have neither chores or allowances.

We give the kids money, they pitch in around the house with us, and that's about it. Ds is trying to find a job outside the home now that he is 16.

[orangefoot]

The jobs that need to be done around our house are not linked in any way to monetary reward. This is a good thing as it has been a few months since I have been able to afford to give ds1 or ds2 any money at all let alone an increasing allowance dependent on how helpful they are.

[ebony]

Hm. I've been trying to figure this one out. My son (age 10) gets $20/month. While I don't say that it's connected to chores (as PPs have mentioned, you're supposed to take care of the home), I will deduct from that amount if he slacks off. I will also deduct for behavior. Do any mamas have any research about the effects of this?

My reasoning for the behavior is that if I came to work and acted out, I could lose my job and therefore not have money. As for deducting for lack of chores, I mostly use it as an incentive. I remember an article someone told me about that basically said I had it all wrong.: So, I'm really open to your ideas. I have no problems renegotiating the terms. But, I have a hard time accepting that he should just get money "just because." I know it teaches him to be responsible with money, but I don't get money "just because."

He does have a bank account and is supposed to save some of his allowance but he's been lax with that lately so I'm going to have to discuss that with him again.

He has an iPod, a Wii, a cell phone, a GameCube and an Xbox. None of those items were purchased by me, nor do I buy any of the games for his consoles (which range from $30-$50!). My mother pays the monthly cell bill, as she purchased the phone. At 10, my son was the last one in his class to have a cell phone.: Under no circumstances was I buying one. Then my mom decided he should have one because of his activities. My son begged for this phone. Begged. I can count on one hand how many times he has used in the last two months. Most of the time it sits on his dresser. I, however, like that he has one now because I'm a single mom and he goes to visit his aunt a lot, and his father visits him there (and he's not a great dad) so now I like for him to be able to call me at any time in the event problems erupt.

[kblackstone444]

My son (age 12) get $5 a week and my little girl (age 6) gets $2 a week, but they save half and can spend the other half if they want. We've been thinking of raising my son's allowance by a couple dolars soon because he's been doing much more housework lately.

[Maiasaura]

i like that money list that embers posted. i may use some watered down 6yo version of that

that said, those of you who make your kids save money-- what do you tell them about saving? what do you tell them they have to save it FOR? i know it makes sense to US, but like if i told my ds he'd have to save money, he'd tell me OK he's saving it for the next $40 Transformer or something.

thanks!
pamela

[Ruth S]

One problem with tying money to chores is that some kids would rather not get money than do chores, especially if they can get money through other means (gifts, jobs, etc). You're still providing them with a home, meals etc, so they haven't learned that all members of a family should contribute. After all, you don't get paid for cooking, cleaning etc -- one of the running jokes of motherhood is nobody would be able to afford to pay them for all they do.

The issue with making a child give a fixed part of their allowance is that they don't see it as their money because they have no control over it and will just think of the amount of their allowance as the part they get to spend. In effect, you're giving them say $10 and then taking (in their eyes) $5 back. Thus they don't actually learn the value of saving or giving to others less fortunate. Like an earlier poster, our kids have almost complete discretion with their money, as long as its for something safe and legal and, if clothes, not immodest. (This means I have had to get over them spending it on gum, which I abhore and had always refused to buy them!) We feel that it's their money, we've given it to them, they should be able to spend it on whatever they want.

Setting up the National Bank of Dad means that our daughters see the value of saving, and both girls have been great at saving for specific high ticket items, even if it's taken them a year. They also both donate to charity on a fairly regular basis, either because they read about something themselves, or through school, or because of our example. My daughter gave 10% of her bat mitzvah monetary gifts to Darfur earlier this year. She also put over half of it into a savings account (she scored pretty well and we couldn't afford the National Bank of Dad rate!) which she won't touch until the end of high school. Seems like we're doing something right!

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

My oldest gets $20/wk and my youngest gets $1/wk which are not related to chores....they are expected to do things around the house because we are a family and we all need to pitch in.

I will drop the allowance once my son gets a job...he's currently job searching.

[sunflowers]

Originally Posted by mercyn

i like that money list that embers posted. i may use some watered down 6yo version of that

that said, those of you who make your kids save money-- what do you tell them about saving? what do you tell them they have to save it FOR? i know it makes sense to US, but like if i told my ds he'd have to save money, he'd tell me OK he's saving it for the next $40 Transformer or something.

thanks!
pamela

I never required my ds to put a certain amount into a savings account/plan but I do make him save for things that I will not or cannot buy. I consider him saving for the next $70 game or $200 for a new paintball gun a good lesson in learning to save for the future. To me, it is as good as keeping the money in a savings account.

IMO, a 15yo does not need to save for unexpected expenses like the car breaking down or a new hot water heater. But I've watched my son grow to learn the value of an interest bearing savings account and now he'll forego some "thing" that he wants in order to keep his money working for him He's begun to pay a lot of attention to the stock market and has also begun looking into CDs and money market accounts because they pay more interest!

Now at 15, he is sarting to realize he has to save for a car and insurance. He has decided he will get a job next summer to facilitate that desire. He's got 3 years to save enough.

So what I'm saying in my typical rambling way, is saving up for months to get the new $40 transformers toy is equivalent in my mind to me saving for months to afford a new mattress or a little vacation... something that I want!