or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › DSC vs. Skids
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

DSC vs. Skids

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
Starting a new thread..

homeless populations live on skid row, when your life is going badly it is on the skids, a car out of control is skidding, add brown skids in dirty underwear and I really think it is a conjunction that just does not need to be used when describing children.

DSC (dear step children) seems more in line with MDC abbreviations. There are too many negative connotations associated with skids... why in the world would we call children that? Unless of course you feel your life is skidding out of control because of your step children.


I come at this from being a step child, a step mom and having children that have a step mom... I really think the term skids is disrespectful to the children.

And BTW... my husband would never call our children skids... "it sounds derogatory" is the exact quote out of his mouth.
post #2 of 30
Huh. I just thought it was an online shorthand. I never say the actual word skids. I always think to myself "step kids" when I see the term in this context. The same way I never refer to my daughter as dd IRL.
post #3 of 30
I didn't like SKids the first time I saw it used and I don't use it in my posts.
post #4 of 30
I thought it was just used as online shorthand as well..When i read posts I say the whole thing sounded out...stepkid. I NEVER thought or said it as SKID.
post #5 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhendi View Post
I thought it was just used as online shorthand as well..When i read posts I say the whole thing sounded out...stepkid. I NEVER thought or said it as SKID.
:
post #6 of 30
I never saw it as "skid," either. But I tend to use the other shorthand (right now she is STBSD, in a year she will be DSD) because she is an equal member to my family as DS, so I want their online abbreviations to be as similar as possible.
post #7 of 30
Ah- I've just got PinkSparklyBarefoot's shorthand for the little girl in her family I've been wondering about that for a while.

For me, I don't see that it's an acceptable abbreviation and I'd really like the use of the word to cease or be banned. Not only does it seem disrespectful to our children (and by definition, every child discussed in this forum is someone's stepchild) but it appears to be creating and reinforcing a divide between biomoms and stepmoms, never a good thing. The most beautiful thing about this forum, for me, is that it reminds me not to get confrontational with my ex because my boys other family love them and care about them and do their best for them just as I do.
post #8 of 30

?

May I ask, and not in a snotty way - I really want to know, to those against "SKIDS", how do we refer those wonderful children who are not our birth children but are thankfully still in our lives? I have posted another thread here and someone (forget who, sorry!) replied and asked the Q better than me, but...
in the age of text messaging and instant messaging (TMing & IMing) where every character costs (literally) yet we still want to get our message and meaning across, how else would you like us to refer to those whom we did not bear ourselves? And, sometimes that extra clarification that they are not biologically ours helps explain our questions and/or difficulties and/or frustrations. I believe we are conditioned to type in "IM speak" anymore. For me it was most apparent in my thread title (where character count is important) than in the post itself, but then I wanted to keep it all consistent.
post #9 of 30
This isn't text messaging. This is a free forum on the internet, and I find it easier to read English than text-ese. Some of us choose not to text/ IM frequently, and some of us are just plain crap at thinking in text talk. I put myself firmly in the last camp- I can do smileys, because I keep the MDC list printed out next to my computer so I can find what I want, when I want it. There's also the issue that some posters on MDC and elsewhere on the internet do not have a form of English as a first language and so typing text-talk makes life even harder for them.

The standard abbreviation on this forum until recently was DSC, or Dear/ Darling/ Dratted/ Dastardly Step Children, in the same way that DC is Dear/ Dastardly Children, DS is D... Son, and DD is D (insert the blanks) Daughter. A stepchild would be a SS or a SD, in most circumstances, and if you're feeling particularly numb and emotionless, they could simply be SC. This is what BoobyBunny is protesting- that the convention- and the one in the stickies on MDC abbreviations- has been abandoned in favour of the term SKids, and she's challenging it so that the community can stop and think. Is this really a direction we want to go in? Is it an improvement, or a step backwards?
post #10 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
Ah- I've just got PinkSparklyBarefoot's shorthand for the little girl in her family I've been wondering about that for a while.

For me, I don't see that it's an acceptable abbreviation and I'd really like the use of the word to cease or be banned. Not only does it seem disrespectful to our children (and by definition, every child discussed in this forum is someone's stepchild) but it appears to be creating and reinforcing a divide between biomoms and stepmoms, never a good thing. The most beautiful thing about this forum, for me, is that it reminds me not to get confrontational with my ex because my boys other family love them and care about them and do their best for them just as I do.
I never liked the term "skids". You'll notice in my other posts, I tend to refer to my stepdaughter as "my stepdaughter", "my little girl" or, on occasion, by her name. As much as I agree about calling any child a "skid", I'm not sure banning the word "skid" would be a good idea, though. This is a longterm habit for many of these posters. I've been in and out of stepfamily forums for 5 or 6 years now and I've seen "skids" in every forum. It may be a hard habit to break for some people and I'd hate to see someone getting banned or ostracized because of s slip of the tounge (keyboard).

Quote:
Originally Posted by JnB View Post
May I ask, and not in a snotty way - I really want to know, to those against "SKIDS", how do we refer those wonderful children who are not our birth children but are thankfully still in our lives? I have posted another thread here and someone (forget who, sorry!) replied and asked the Q better than me, but...
in the age of text messaging and instant messaging (TMing & IMing) where every character costs (literally) yet we still want to get our message and meaning across, how else would you like us to refer to those whom we did not bear ourselves? And, sometimes that extra clarification that they are not biologically ours helps explain our questions and/or difficulties and/or frustrations. I believe we are conditioned to type in "IM speak" anymore. For me it was most apparent in my thread title (where character count is important) than in the post itself, but then I wanted to keep it all consistent.
Perhaps we can come up with a few alternative references for a stepchild? SD, SS, SC, DSD, DSS, DSC, stepson, stepdaughter, stepchild... Maybe if more people start using those terms, then eventually everyone will start to follow?
post #11 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
This is a longterm habit for many of these posters. I've been in and out of stepfamily forums for 5 or 6 years now and I've seen "skids" in every forum. ?

I have only recently, in the last six months seen skids on MDC. I would like to think that the parenting on MDC is more evolved, and as such we would NEVER feel the need/desire to call the children we have been chosen to love, skids.
post #12 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
This is what BoobyBunny is protesting- that the convention- and the one in the stickies on MDC abbreviations- has been abandoned in favour of the term SKids, and she's challenging it so that the community can stop and think. Is this really a direction we want to go in? Is it an improvement, or a step backwards?
Give the woman from across the pond a huge gold star!!!

We are MDC have chosen to parent in at least a slightly different way than most of the mainstream world. Do we really want to use a term as derogatory as "skids" for those beautiful, (and at times not so beautiful) children that have come into our lives?

There is a huge amount of power in negative self talk. If we think it is fine to use skids, instead of DSC, what does that do to our mental picture of our chosen children?
post #13 of 30
People use both DSC and skids. Nobody has abandoned DSC.

I don't use those abbreviations at all. I write it out, like a pp said she did.

You could easily make the argument that DSC could stand for "dumb step kid", "the discovery channel", or "the dallas symphony orchestra", and we should just get rid of the acronyms completely.

It's all in how you read it. If you look at it in a negative way, then that's what you're going to get.
post #14 of 30
You know, I've been a stepmom to my to sd's for 17 years. This entire time they've treated me and my family like absolute shit. Even though my family and I bent over backwards to make them feel loved and accepted. I could write a novel about the sh!t they pulled.

My children were put in physical danger because of them even before they were born. Yes, I was kicked in the stomach by both of them the both times I was preggo with my boyz. They told biomom outright lies and we got cps called on us. We had them in counseling for over 10 years. They refused to cooperate. It was a waste of my $$. (Yes, I paid for it)

So I certainly am not going to refer to them as my DSC, because that would be lying.

I going to stick with what I've been using. You can read into anyway you feel like.


p.s. I've used skid's when posting, but for me it was just to make it easier to type, especially since I have 5 of them. I never saw a multiple meaning behind it. Never did when I was reading other folk's postings either.
post #15 of 30
I think DSC/DSK is more in line with the DD, DH, DS, and other D-acronyms, therefore it makes more sense.

Why leave the "D" out when it refers to stepkids? Seems a bit exclusionary. As a step-kid, I find it annoying at best. (I've never refered to my step-dd as a "step" IRL, anyway, but I see the purpose of differentiation in this forum.)
post #16 of 30
Would anyone get offended if I were to refer to my stepson as "my stot", my "syoungster", or my "stoddler"?

I think that because of this thread, I will be calling him my "scub" from now on.

This thread really got me thinking.
:
post #17 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
I have only recently, in the last six months seen skids on MDC. I would like to think that the parenting on MDC is more evolved, and as such we would NEVER feel the need/desire to call the children we have been chosen to love, skids.
That's a good thing, then. I've only been on MotheringDotCom for a month? two months?, so I don't know how long skids has been around, but I have seen it just about everywhere else and, chances are, I'm not the only one here who's been in other forums as well.
post #18 of 30
I interpret it as step-kids. When I read it, I say stepkids in my head, just like I read DH as dear husband, etc. It has never occurred to me that it says anything else...

If somebody actually pronounced the word 'skids' and said it about theirs, that would be weird.

should it be dskids? OTOH, nobody is offended when people talk about their kids. Not dkids. Maybe it should be S-kids?
post #19 of 30
yoyo65 I am, frankly, shocked that any human being would treat someone else like that. Dastardly doesn't come close

norajane, I get where you're coming from. Yes, kids can be a pet term, a slang term, a term of endearment like calling a child your cub, or your tot. The thing is: the reason the acronym took off is because it scans. It sounds like a real word. AND the word skid has the association of being out-of-control, which according to DH is an everyday part of his life as a stepdad. Which brings us straight back to skid row, where we started. : Tricky, isn't it?
post #20 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
norajane, I get where you're coming from. Yes, kids can be a pet term, a slang term, a term of endearment like calling a child your cub, or your tot. The thing is: the reason the acronym took off is because it scans. It sounds like a real word. AND the word skid has the association of being out-of-control, which according to DH is an everyday part of his life as a stepdad. Which brings us straight back to skid row, where we started. : Tricky, isn't it?
Personally, I think way too much is being read into this term. To me it is only shorthand. "Skid" has just as many definitions and connotations that are not negative as ones that are. Just because one chooses to assert the negative ones does not mean that someone else is using it (or intends to use it) with that association. The posters that have said that they use the word "skid" has said they use it as shorthand and not as a put-down. It makes me wonder if it's just being defensive to assume the negative meaning.

Besides, if you're asking me about Skid Row, then you're talking about the band and I would never mind someone comparing my step-child to Sebastian Bach!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › DSC vs. Skids