I think that's the key. If I knew he were wet, I would change my ds. But during the night while we were sleeping did I know? Nah. We were all asleep, and ds never cared when he wet or dirtied himself. He still doesn't
What he hated was changing diapers. Depends on the family, children again as usual
With her we'll have to see. If she wakes me up because she's wet, I'm not going to let her cry and fall back asleep. I would change her. However, if she were fine and I was asleep too, I wouldn't know she was wet, YK? Then I would change her promptly after I wake up.
If I happen to notice during night-nursing that she's obviously wet, then by all means I'll change her. Depends on her personality, though. Especially since I'll be using cloth, which are going to be less absorbent than my old Seventh Generation disposables with ds.
It's as simple as that