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What's the problem with a cover?? - Page 4

post #61 of 112
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all of your responses. I have been lurking and kept getting bad vibes about covers that seemed to imply, "can you believe she was covering up??? Ugh!" I kept thinking, I must be wrong but I can see from some of your responses that my assumptions are correct and that some of the "lactivists" here look down on bfing moms

1. NO ONE should ever ASK a woman to cover up or go elswhere to nurse!

2. The cover I was given was a gift only b/c she let me use hers (her babe was 3 wks old) at a family reunion when I wore something that wasn't exactly nursing friendly. I was incredibly grateful that I could comfortably nurse AND mingle with DH's huge family.

3. A cover IS helpful when you are new to nursing and don't have all the kinks worked out yet. In the beginning I was in my bed, completely topless with pillows all around, leaking everywhere and trying to get help with latching on. It took me awhile b4 I could nurse while wallking, climbing stairs etc. So the first times I NIP it was nice to have a cover while I fumbled around. At 6mo my DS is too big & fussy for the cover I have so I rarely cover up anyway. I am also a lot better at it.

4. Women who breastfeed with a cover may also be self conscious. I certainly don't need to expose my "love handles". Also, my nipples show when my DS is nursing and in the wrong outfit I just don't feel the need to share my nipples with everyone.

5. I respectfuly disagree that a cover sends a shameful msg. I have found that it brings attention to the issue and gives me an opportunity to talk about about the benefits of breastfeeding, and the fact that I will continue to do so until DS no longer shows interest. I either get the thumbs up sign or a hmmm really, I had no idea you should nurs past 3 months ......Planting a seed is important to lactivism no??

6. She may be the 1st to BF in her family and has already battled it out with family and friends who are pushing formula. She needs support NOT judgement. Now she has to worry that she is not meeting the BFing standard. Judging the women who are on your side is not exactly helping your cause.

7. I LOVE the bathing suit analogy. ALL women are beautiful, but some feel beautiful in a bikini and some feel beautiful in a 1 piece. The important part is to feel beautiful and get in the water and have fun!

Bottom line, I think the 1st priority for lactivism should be about educating our society about the benefits of breastfeeding not what we should or shouldn't wear while nursing our little babies.
post #62 of 112
I found that my shirts covered me quite well draped just to nursling's face. We could see each other and no one else could see anything.

Whatever works is what a mom "should" do IMO.

Quote:
I did wonder what would happen if I turned the tables, flagged a security guard, pointed and said loudly, "That man is staring at my breasts and he is making me REALLY feel uncomfortable. Could you please ask him to stop?"
I never had to do this, but DH sure noticed a guy staring inappropriately back when DS was little. I had noticed too actually. Another friend of ours spoke to the guy before DH did more than speak.
post #63 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by GinaNY View Post
3. A cover IS helpful when you are new to nursing and don't have all the kinks worked out yet.
I can go along with everything else you say but this. How about a cover MAY be helpful when you're new.

It would NOT have been helpful to me. It would have been a huge pain in the rear.

-Angela
post #64 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I've heard of such things, but can't imagine facilitating such a "need" in my child. I expected dd to nurse anywhere and I expected her to sleep anywhere. I never went out of my way to do anything special for either and it worked for us. I'm sure it's different with some children.

-Angela

I didn't facilitate this need in my dd, this is just her personality. She is a very sensitive little person. I would perfer not to use a cover since it makes me hot.
post #65 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I can go along with everything else you say but this. How about a cover MAY be helpful when you're new.

It would NOT have been helpful to me. It would have been a huge pain in the rear.

-Angela
I agree. It wouldn't have been helpful for me at all. With my first I was already fumbling with the nipple shield and getting the burp rag under him to catch the leaks, no way was I gonna fumble around with some sort of cover. And with my second he would only nurse lying down for the first 8 months so yeah, I did carry a blanket with us. To lie down on to feed him. And it was a bit annoying to have one extra thing to remember. Words can be very powerful, saying "a cover IS helpful when you are new to nursing" leaves the impression that you probably need one while you're figuring things out, especially since the word is was emphasized. Perhaps saying something along the lines of "a cover MAY BE helpful when you are new to nursing" would go over better. Seems to me it's less likely to leave the impression that one has to use a cover.
post #66 of 112
Reading over some of these responses has made me a feel a bit sad. Maybe I'm not a lactivist after all. I thought I was. I love breastfeeding. I tell everyone how much I love breastfeeding. I also love leaving the house sometimes and so, of course I breastfeed in public. I don't know where else I'd go. But my five month old gets incredibly distracted by whatever is going on around him while nursing-- I can't even talk or he'll startle and pop off and sometimes start to cry. Plus, I've definitely got a postpartum tummy still going. I don't usually cover, mostly because I'm not that coordinated, but I do usually try to go somewhere quiet and I usually try to sit somewhere where my stomach flab isn't hanging out for a crowd to see. A booth in a restaurant. A secluded bench in the shade. My office at work. I'm not hiding. I'm nursing.

I hope that one of the requirements of lactivism isn't breastfeeding so that it's as obvious as possible. I'd rather breastfeed so that it works as well for me and my babe as possible. For me, that's sometimes sitting in a "corner." But when my one SIL is out with us and her two year old runs up and pulls up her shirt to get some "bwoobie" and exposes her (she doesn't wear a bra), I smile at how sweet it is and how happy I am that they're nursing. And I glare at anyone around us to looks offended. When my other SIL, who is much more shy about nursing, finally got up the nerve to nurse in public with one of those hooter hider things, I also smiled because I'm happy that she's found something that works for them. I just want all those babies to get some mama milk. That's the only "message" I want to convey.
post #67 of 112

Modesty

Although breasting is trully beautiful. i don't think any one of us is going to go down the street with our breast out for no apparent reason or choice not to wear a shirt that day and go out in our underwear. Being confident in our own skin does not mean we have to show it to the whole world.If that is the case we might all as well be porn stars and i believe we are all descent woman on this sight. We must thingk about the people in this society as a whole not just of selfishness and a child who has never experienceed it what a shock it will be to that child and how the parent feels who has to explain it. I have breast feed 5 children my self and will continue to if i have more but there are people in this world that are not good people and that is reality. One good note to remember there are to any rapist in this society to expose our selves and way to many camera phones i have seen people take pictures of people not knowingly. if people use cell phones to take pictures of our credit cards imagine what they do with the ones that are camcorders. Please think about who might be out there starking. in a nut shell i love myself to much to show my body to anyone but my husband.
post #68 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabirah View Post
Although breasting is trully beautiful. i don't think any one of us is going to go down the street with our breast out for no apparent reason or choice not to wear a shirt that day and go out in our underwear. Being confident in our own skin does not mean we have to show it to the whole world.If that is the case we might all as well be porn stars and i believe we are all descent woman on this sight. We must thingk about the people in this society as a whole not just of selfishness and a child who has never experienceed it what a shock it will be to that child and how the parent feels who has to explain it. I have breast feed 5 children my self and will continue to if i have more but there are people in this world that are not good people and that is reality. One good note to remember there are to any rapist in this society to expose our selves and way to many camera phones i have seen people take pictures of people not knowingly. if people use cell phones to take pictures of our credit cards imagine what they do with the ones that are camcorders. Please think about who might be out there starking. in a nut shell i love myself to much to show my body to anyone but my husband.
So am I to understand that you're stating that we should all hide whenever our child needs to eat or am I misreading this? I hope I'm misreading this, otherwise it really has no place here.
post #69 of 112

Modesty2

What you do with your own bodies is your business i am just saying be mindful of your surroundings because this society is not nice. I am trying not be funny but how many woman in america the police had to contact not knowing they were filmed and now there bodies are all over the internet. the best thing to do is breast feed but criminals are criminals.
post #70 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabirah View Post
What you do with your own bodies is your business i am just saying be mindful of your surroundings because this society is not nice. I am trying not be funny but how many woman in america the police had to contact not knowing they were filmed and now there bodies are all over the internet. the best thing to do is breast feed but criminals are criminals.
If someone wants to video tape me BFing then they can have at it. I did it on a float in a parade when I knew people were video taping so I can't imagine it would bother *me all that much if it ended up on youtube. I might even feel special :-)
post #71 of 112
I keep seeing the argument that covering "sends the message" that breastfeeding is shameful. But I don't think it's fair to say that covering mamas are sending a message -- if other people interpret their covering as a message, that's in the minds and interpretations of the other people.

So I'm sympathetic to the "shamefulness" issue, and I realize the larger societal problem exists, and that it is damaging to mamas who don't cover -- but I don't think it's the responsibility of any one nursing mama to worry about what message she is or isn't sending, when the only thing she should be worrying about is whether she and her baby is successfully nursing. And if they are, then hooray! One more happy, healthy breastfed baby, cover or no.
post #72 of 112
Covering by chouce mamas may not be sending that message, but society as a whole sure is.

Recently on a local BB there was an article on NIP. The responses were pretty uniform on the "If you MUST do that, then you better cover. But we would rather you not do that in public. We support breast feeding, but we think you need to cover."

I don't feel that "I" need a cover to be modest and NIP. I'm not "showing myself to anyone but my husband". I'm just nursing. If a little nip shows, oh well. If covering helps you feel better, more power to you. I however do not like the implication that if you are nursing without a cover, you are out flashing your goods for the whole world to see.
post #73 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzfern View Post
Whoa, I'm having a hard time the vibe in this thread. I think it needs to be repeated that the goal of lactivism is getting precious babes breastmilk (from the source, ideally) whenever, whereever, and however. If a woman feels she must cover for her own comfort, that should HER prerogative (and her child's, of course).

An outsider suggesting a woman should cover? Wrong on all counts. In the same vein, an outsider should not tell a nursing pair that the "correct" way to breastfeed is without a cover (or double shirting or whatever).

Let's be supportive of our sisters. This is not a fight that we should be having.
:
This is one of those issues that has no right or wrong answer. If a cover keeps a mother bf, then more power to her. If she's more comfortable without one, more power to her, too!
post #74 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabirah View Post
What you do with your own bodies is your business i am just saying be mindful of your surroundings because this society is not nice. I am trying not be funny but how many woman in america the police had to contact not knowing they were filmed and now there bodies are all over the internet. the best thing to do is breast feed but criminals are criminals.
How many are there, do you have any numbers? What I do with my body and how I feed my child IS my business and I'm quite insulted by your implications that because I feed my child wherever we are I am therefor willingly inviting others to take a pic, a video, or rape me. That is quite offensive and backwards IMO.
post #75 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by lacysmommy View Post
I think people on here get upset when others suggest to them that they need to use a blanket. There is nothing wrong with using a blanket if that is what makes you most comfortable, but having someone insist you use one is an entirely different matter. Personally I don't use one but some of my friends do, and more power to them for using them. All that matters is the baby's getting breastmilk.
Well said!

I've never used one, because all 3 of my kiddos have hated it!! Its hot and stuffy and they wanna see whats going on too. I guess I just don't care if someone gets a nipple shot, thats the risk you take when you NIP. But if a mom is uncomfortable nip'n w/ out one, I would surely hope she'd use a blanket instead of a not nursing at all, yk.
post #76 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I can go along with everything else you say but this. How about a cover MAY be helpful when you're new.

It would NOT have been helpful to me. It would have been a huge pain in the rear.

-Angela
I agree w/ Angela. I couldn't have used a blanket when I was new, cuz I couldn't see where her mouth was
post #77 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabirah View Post
Although breasting is trully beautiful. i don't think any one of us is going to go down the street with our breast out for no apparent reason or choice not to wear a shirt that day and go out in our underwear. Being confident in our own skin does not mean we have to show it to the whole world.If that is the case we might all as well be porn stars and i believe we are all descent woman on this sight. We must thingk about the people in this society as a whole not just of selfishness and a child who has never experienceed it what a shock it will be to that child and how the parent feels who has to explain it. I have breast feed 5 children my self and will continue to if i have more but there are people in this world that are not good people and that is reality. One good note to remember there are to any rapist in this society to expose our selves and way to many camera phones i have seen people take pictures of people not knowingly. if people use cell phones to take pictures of our credit cards imagine what they do with the ones that are camcorders. Please think about who might be out there starking. in a nut shell i love myself to much to show my body to anyone but my husband.

And I love my children too much to care about the opinions of ignorant people.
post #78 of 112
I also want to add that although I would never use a cover, I would never fault anyone for doing so.

The other day, I was walking in a department store, and Dillan wanted no part of the sling. So I walked the store with her cradled in my arms and give her the boob. Within minutes, she was sleeping with my boob still in her mouth, and I continued to carry her around the store like that for the remainder of our shopping trip.

And with the exception of getting a couple of , no one said a word.
post #79 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
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I would never use one. I don't think they should be expected. If you want to use one I think it's absurd, but I think lots of things people do are absurd

-Angela
See this is where lactivism gets a bad wrap. This is where lactivism becomes unsupportive. I consider myself a lactivist, but I cover when I'm in church. I am a strong proponet of breastfeeding and I feel like "lactivist" cut a lot of people off of "the cause" just because they dont' feel they are being lactivist enough. Its horrible. And I think its wrong. Between this issue and poo pooing women who don't extend breastfeeding long enough. We should be proud and support all women whole heartedly who breastfeed peroid!!
post #80 of 112
Quote:
If a cover keeps a mother bf, then more power to her. If she's more comfortable without one, more power to her, too!
I couldn't agree more!
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