bad language in online gaming chat

[meowee]

My 10 y.o. son is allowed ample freedom to play what video games he wants to including online.I play WoW too but there is a chat filter in place so if people start saying stupid things at least the obscenities are blocked.

However, in other games, like Wacraft 3, the language and chat topics can get really crass, obscene, and low. It's stupid stuff like "I have a big dick," and frequent use of the f word and other obscenities. I also have seen racist things written (with the N word). It's just a very "rough," yucky atmosphere. The same for a lot of gaming forums/ message boards.

He is pretty prudish and I trust him never to say anything offensive or repeat bad words, but it still seems like such an awful thing for him to willfully expose himself to.

My questions for you ladies are,

1) Is it reasonable to ask him to close the window and/or ask his sisters to leave if they happen to be in the room (they don't read very well, but still), and

2) How do I discuss this with him other than to say, "Some people use bad language and say stupid things, that's just part of life and you need to know never to repeat those things" ?? Or is that all I can say.

DH and I are 100% against the use of obscenities and bad language our house by our family... this is a strong rule we have that everyone understands and follows. But I understand that other people speak and write this way so I can't forbid him to associate with people who speak that way. It's part of life.

[meowee]

ps Warcraft 3 has no chat filter that I know of.

[MrsMac]

I don't know about the other games, but warcraft 3 has an addon chat filter - http://hiveworkshop.com/resources_new/spells/986/

HTH!

[meowee]

Oh cool! That thought occurred to me when I posted.

[Jenlaana]

My DH and I are gamers (we met in EQ, lol) My 12 yr old son loves video games. However, I just dont see the logic in letting him play something with trash talk in it, when there are soooo many video games available. For the PS2, the only thing so far that we have nixed him having was Grand Theft Auto (and I wouldn't let him have the playboy video game if he asked for it). Otherwise we dont restrict his ps2 play. DS is not allowed to play mmo's however. There are just too many nutjobs out there, IMO. He plays Neverwinter Nights, Black and White 2, Sid Meyers Pirates, Diablo I/II, and a slew of other games.

Beyond the actual curse words, there is a lot of adult "talk" that goes on, on the net. I used to be kinda a "mom figure" to a 14 yr old boy that was in my guild, that had a 24 yr old "girlfriend" who actually met w/ him and hooked up w/ him in RL (she was divorced and he was nervous because she was going to be "his first"). I've just seen so many things in the time that I have played, that I wouldn't feel comfortable with my son seeing or being a part of. And to be completely honest, I have said a lot of things in chat that I would not have, if I had known a kid was reading, yk?

[meowee]

Well, I respect his decision to play MMO games, and he's completely obsessed with them, so he wouldn't willingly quit them. I resisted them for a long time but he started playing some of the Star Wars games online, and WoW was his birthday present.

He is very prudish, like I said, but he really loves the interactivity of playing with other real people (as opposed to just against the computer). It really stinks because Warcraft 3 has very little bad content in it-- it's barely PG (I think they use the word "damn" and "bastard..." that's the absolute worst). But there are these idiots who talk trash in the chat.

We only have PC games-- no other consoles. He has played 1 rated M game but beyond that we never let him play anything beyond a T rating.

From playing WoW myself I am really surprised how many very young players are online. My general impression is that Wacraft 3 has an older demographic and WoW is getting younger. One of my "friends" from the game told me he was a 9 year old kid. Another started talking about his 11 year old sister so I assume he was quite young too. These are lvl 70 players...

[UnschoolnMa]

I would just say your #2 option and leave it at that. But then we have no problem with swear words (not fond of sexist/racist/homophobic terms though) so it could be that we come from an entirely different POV on this.

We'd just ignore dumb comments likely.

[Arduinna]

I don't see the exposer to language in MMOs any different than what will be heard just living life. We all interact in the world and hear stuff that may not be appropriate given our personal values. So I would use the same method in dealing with it, in general. And yes you can use a filter if you really want to. I choose to report people that post racist, sexist and homophobic content in the game, as it's offensive and against the rules.

[Jenlaana]

I guess I'm just overprotective. *shrug* My problem is definitely not w/ the games themselves. I think they have positive values in hand eye coordination, reading, etc. And curse words themselves dont bother me. My son sees them when we watch movies some times, and people in RL do use them. Its just that it goes so much further online especially with all of the unsupervised immaturity and hormones that runs rampant (and not just little kids). Its funny that this came up today, because my DH is very laid back and kind of rough around the edges in his online 'persona' and today reported someone for the first time ever, because of something they said on the WoW forums about what a warlock would do "to a bus stop full of children" (the ones that Blizzard runs). I dont know exactly what was said as he (the offender) was banned from the forums over it (but not from the game) but it must have been unbelievably bad for my DH to say something.

As far as not caring about playing online games and chatting online because its comprable to what people say and do in RL... I disagree. Its not like on MDC where people have strong feelings that mirror what they feel in RL. People (not all but enough) dont care what they say or how they say it because there is a layer of protection in the anonymity an online persona gives them. Even my DH, before I was with him, was pretty bad online, to the point that I didnt even want to date him. His RL personality is not even recognizeably the same. Of the probably 40 or 50 people I have met in person after knowing in game (mostly Everquest), I would say a good 75% have been very much a suprise in RL compared to their online personas.

[meowee]

It's just that I don't see any way to excise MMOs from his life because 1) I play them myself and 2) I don't really feel it would be right, since I respect his choices and he really is prudish and has never uttered or typed an obscenity himself.

[Arduinna]

As far as not caring about playing online games and chatting online because its comprable to what people say and do in RL... I disagree.

Who said that?

[Pandora114]

City of Heroes/Villains has an awesome chat filter, and is really awesome for the younger crowd. If he's into the comic book culture, I'd go for that. It's rated T for Teen. It's real good for the casual gamer, which it seems that he is.

[Light_Circle]

Light_Circle

My feeling is that what goes into a young persons conscientiousness eventually comes forth in their life...

[UnschoolnMa]

Does that mean that my son will eventually steal cars, drive recklessly throughout a major (but fictitious lol) city, and shoot randomly? Or that he is destined to head up a guild where he will roam amazing fantasy worlds and kill giant evil dragons and other strange creatures? Race sports cars on fantastic layouts at unbelievable speeds?

Because if so...I should probably be on the lookout for all of that.

/sarcasm

Seriously though my approach would be:
1. Filter what you can if it's an option that you have available in the game.
2. Ignore what you can, and discuss why you find it distasteful or offensive
3. Report what you feel is reportable.

[Shann]

I would have to agree with Unschool. My kids exist in a home world where there is no such thing as "bad words" because words are just words. What many people in the world refer to as "swear words" are just normal everyday terms (minus the racist and homophobic terms, which are not permitted) in our household. So the "swearing" issue online would not be an issue in our house. BUT if it is in yours, I would again agree with Unschool that option #2 would be your best bet.

[Arduinna]

Thankfully the idea that one will act out their exposer is not true. Otherwise I'd be a homophobe like my parents. Some of us learn what NOT to do and believe by the actions of others.

[sea_joy]

Ummm...

I don't think Light_Circle meant that your kid would "steal cars.." ect. She said consciousness, not actions. I would give my kid games that weren't exposing them to so much profanity, etc in the chat rooms.

There are a lot of places in the world where behaviors are "normal" but I don't want my kid to be exposed to them. Sex, drinking, lying, and a whole host of other things become common in life, but there's an age at which a child/ young adult becomes able to process them a little better.

On the other hand, when there's a medium that has a lot of obscenity or the like, I choose not to watch it/ be part of it. Things like that make me feel bad, they aren't "normal" to me because I choose for them not to be.

Seems like you're doing really good job of not overreacting and understanding how he likes his games.

Good luck ......

[Ruthla]

Is it possible for him to play the games but not be part of the chatroom? Or is the chatroom an integral part of the game itself?

If possible, have him play the games but not participate in the chat. If that's not possible, then explain that some people use crass words, but I dont want you repeating them and don't expose your little sisters to it.

[Doc_Girl]

MMO's are worse than RL language.

You have all these people from ages 10 to 60 playing and saying whatever they want with no fear of consequences.

You'll see the most absurd things said because these people think they are untouchable because there "anonymous"

Hell, just the other day I found out that a Jailguard got busted on the City of Heroes which is a game my son plays. News Article here



It's ridiculous!

[TheTruth]

Get over it. Its a word.
People like you who try to censor others make me sick.