Q's for Doula's (or aspiring doula's) w/ young DC

[eco_mama]

I have a chance (as long as finances provide) to take a DONA certified program in Sep. to become a certified birth doula but I'm having some mixed feelings about it. On one hand I feel that this is something I should do and really really want to but...on the other hand I just don't know how it's going to be possible since my dc (mainly my ds) is still so young. The training is just 2.5 days and I think would be doable but I am thinking about if I have to be away from him to attend a birth (for completing requirement) at this young age when he is still young and nursing so, so much. Have any of you done it with young dc? Or would it be best just to wait until he is done nursing so I wouldn't have to worry about being away (leaving him with dh) for longer periods??

Any advice is much appreciated!! TIA!

[MidwifeErika]

If it causes you any worry at all about childcare, then I would just wait. Trainings come up ALL the time. There will be another one that will come up when it is easier for your family.

[rachelagain]

My dd is 3 1/2 months and I just had a birth yesterday-- dh brought her to the hospital (we live 5 min away) at 8pm to feed her (I put her on a 4 hour schedule and now she sleeps through the night) and then I had bm for him to give her in the morning-- unfortunately she refused the bottle and he tried a dropper and everything but she wouldn't have anything to do w/ it-- so she skipped breakfast. But she is a mellow child and didn't seem to care. I got home at 11:30 am and she was sitting there happy as can be, so I nursed her then. I felt bad! Anyway, so I have to work with her now to make sure she take a bottle-- she did, from me a couple weeks ago, so I thought it would be fine.
Anyway, you can nurse- most women will be more than understanding, you already have to eat/use the bathroom. My issue in the morning was she was pushing, so I had turned my phone off- she pushed for 3 hours.
It might help to have a babysitter that is nursing and would be willing to care for your little one during a birth.
And as far as going to the training-- feel free to have you're dh bring your ds in for nursing. It's part of what being a doula is about.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Part of the reason I quit attending births is the childcare issue. I found it overwhelmingly stressful to try to be on call with small children. The problem with DONA in your situation is that you only have a certain period of time to be certified. If you want to be able to try it and see, you might look into ALACE. There's no time limit on certification, so if it doesn't work out with a little one, you can finish up at any time in the future.

[heather_c]

I attended the DONA training when my DS was 8 mos old. It was hard to be away from him for so long during the day, but he took pumped milk from my MIL without a problem and I had plenty of pumping breaks. There was another nursing mother there who had her 3 month old brought to her thoughout the training to nurse.

IIRC, the DONA time requirement is that within 4 years of completing the training session, you must have submitted the certification application or you have to take the training again. I went ahead and took the workshop, because there was not another one scheduled anywhere in my state for the next year. I ended up submitting my certification a little over a year and a half after my training workshop.

My DS is a little older than yours, but I have not had any problems attending births. I have good childcare options in my DH and MIL. Good luck with your decision. Only you can know what is best for your family.

[Veritaserum]

On call childcare can be a huge hassle. I attended births starting when #2 was 1 year old and quit last year right before giving birth to #4. It's just too stressful for me at this time in my life. I definitely plan on attending births again when my kids are older and childcare is no longer an issue. In the meantime I'm still teaching childbirth classes (which I can schedule ) and enjoy that quite a bit.

[tlcdoula]

I attended my training after my dd was over two years old and weaned. I chose to do it this way because I knew there was no way she would ever take a bottle, and I truly felt in my heart that she was only going to be this age once and I needed to enjoy it. For me it meant so much to be there for my dd, and once she was weaned it was a little easier, but not totally because childcare was still an issue for a few years.

I think you need to do what is right for you, and that is different for every single person here, but I would just like to remind you that your ds will only be this little once and doula trainings will continue to come from time to time. You could always start by reading the required books, attend the childbirth education series, and get some of that other prep work done first.

[courtenay_e]

I agree w/pp's...if you feel like you don't want to be away from your little one right yet, you can do a couple of things. First you could just start the reading part of the training, and have it done by the time your baby is ready for mama to leave them alone for a day or so at a time...you could also do as pp suggested and check out ALACE...do the reading for them, host a training (so it's free, and that way you don't have to pay to travel or for lodging!), and then finish the births when it's right for your family.

I have a 3.75 yo and have been doing births for...oh, about a year and a half. It was a lot harder when he wasn't fully night weaned. The first couple of nights I was gone he really gave dh a hard time, but after that, dh would just snuggle him and when he realized that I was "at work" he would just cuddle in to dh's shoulder and go back to sleep...I think it was harder on me knowing that he'd miss me, than it was on him ('cause really he had his daddy and likes him better at night anyway...he'd nurse, and then roll over and cuddle dh!).

I notice that my kids DO really notice when I'm gone if I have more than a couple of births a month. They'll start to act up when I'm newly home, I think to let me know that they're not so keen on my being away that much. I completely understand, and truely wish I didn't have to be away from them at all. Unfortunately, we need the money right now...and my other job (being a teacher) wouldn't provide NEARLY the flexibility as being a doula does. Course, a teacher gets paid a lot more, but is gone a LOT more, as well. ANYway, sorry for the tangent. Point being that if you know your kids, you'll know what's best for your family. I can be at two births a month and my kids see the time that I'm away (if it entails daytime absence) as a FUN visit with their grandma or best friends. However, they're bothered by more time than that.

Good luck in your choice.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

For some reason I'm remembering that you have 2 or 3 years to certify with DONA. I'm not sure about that though and I don't see it on their site.

[eco_mama]

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl

For some reason I'm remembering that you have 2 or 3 years to certify with DONA. I'm not sure about that though and I don't see it on their site.

I'm pretty sure you have 2yrs after completion of the training to finish your certification.

Originally Posted by tlcdoula

I attended my training after my dd was over two years old and weaned. I chose to do it this way because I knew there was no way she would ever take a bottle, and I truly felt in my heart that she was only going to be this age once and I needed to enjoy it. For me it meant so much to be there for my dd, and once she was weaned it was a little easier, but not totally because childcare was still an issue for a few years.

I think you need to do what is right for you, and that is different for every single person here, but I would just like to remind you that your ds will only be this little once and doula trainings will continue to come from time to time. You could always start by reading the required books, attend the childbirth education series, and get some of that other prep work done first.

Thanks everyone for all your imput/advice. I think this is what I'm going to do too. Ds has never had a bottle and there is no way I would try now. Like many of you said, I can still do things now to prepare myself and that was one of the first things that popped in my mind this morning. I'm going to start by reading the required books and that way I'll be able to learn more before actually taking the training course. Thanks again mamas, I feel great about my decision.

[megadoula]

I brought my son (11 weeks) to the ALACE training. If my hands were busy then somebody else held him. I really recommend the ALACE training because there is no stress in time limits.

[coobabysmom]

This is an issue for me too, so births are on hold until ds *shows* me it's ok to go. But if we have another, I expect it will be even longer.

I've taken the ALACE training and doing the reading right now. I am directing my energy to build an informal business plan for myself. So I still feel productive and moving forward toward birth support work.

[Tasya]

tell me please, ladies!
How to host a training?
How does it works if I am just an aspiring doula?
and do they(DONA or ALACE) teach you how to create a business plan
thanks

[Maggi315]

If you can do a search, you will find lots of threads about this. I never have luck with searches, though, I get tons and tons of nonrelated crap.

People around here bring their babies to training. Babies who aren't yet crawling seem to work out fine. even babies who are crawling could just be in the back and have things to do. I guess it depends on the trainer and the location.

Imagine the worst case scenario about being called to a birth (3am, baby sick or teething, lasts 24 hours, 1 hour away, etc.)and if you don't feel comfortable with it, then put if off. I don't take clients or do much work at all until my kids are at least one, eating solids, can stay with dad for hours, and have several babysitting options.

babysitting headaches are my biggest ongoing concern in this profession, I am constantly getting new ones, juggling schedules, hitting up friends, etc. It most certainly can be done, but don't rush and then either miss a birth or feel stressed and upset the whole time you are at a birth.