sad little rant ... please send your kids out to play ... - Page 3

[Hannahsmummy]

Originally Posted by limabean

Huh -- in my area (of the US) the parks are always packed with kids, and kids play in their yards constantly.

That's great!
The US is a BIG HUGE country with all different kinds of places. So, my experiences in a small portion of it are not indicitive of an entire country. Just like anywhere, it depends on what area you live in.

Unfortunately, where my mother lives kids just don't play outside and no one-adult or child walks anywhere. I've been stopped by strangers asking if we are OK or want a ride just because we are out walking!

I spent a lot of years in CA and where we lived was definitely more of a 'neighborhood' where kids played together.

[mistymama]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

PS - regarding the weather - I think that is an excuse. It is horrible weather here 95% of the time. Deep snow, freezing, long and dark winters, pissing rain a lot of the spring and fall, summer which goes from 92f on wednesday to only 68f on friday.... Our kids are out almost every single day. In the summer, t-shirt and shorts with sun screen and a lot of water with them if it is hot. Snow boots, coats, hats, mittins.... in the winter.

Whatever. We frequent the parks even in the dead of winter .. you can always bundle up. But I'm sorry, when it is 95 degrees with high humidity going to the park is pure misery .. for both my son and I. We go to the water park and swim/waterslide instead.

[Tofu the Geek]

Originally Posted by HeidiAnn67

But I find that kids lives are so "scheduled" now a days sad too.
Kids don't know how to just be kids.

In my case, my daughter has asked to be involved in the activities she is involved in, and she's very good at them and enjoys going. She takes the marital arts classes with her dad, so it's a bit of a family event for them.

My daughter is always making up games with her own rules. She takes every board or card game and makes a version with her own rules. She also makes up magic tricks and writes her own music. Earlier this summer before our yard was landscaped, in the dirt, she made a town of stick and rock people complete with a school and a cemetery. Last weekend she was "construction supervisor" and helped lay our sod.

She's never played kick ball or wiffle ball (I don't know what it is so I am guessing she might not know what "wiffle" is either!) but I can honestly say she has never once told me she was bored (even when she has to attend a boring adult event with me she has never said she was bored!) and she certainly doesn't have a lack of creativity.

She also has friends that aren't involved in any scheduled activity and are always calling her to come over because they are bored and want to play. But, these kids are very creative when they are together, and are never bored if there is more than one of them, but they aren't so good at doing things alone.

I guess my point is, that creative play isn't necessarily a product of scheduled activities or not. I think as long as your child is doing what they want to be doing and looks forward to it, and you aren't having to force them to go, then scheduled activities are fine.

[Terabith]

I know that around here, children are not allowed by school rules to walk/ ride bikes to or from school unless they are accompanied by an adult on the "authorized adult" list. Even if they are eleven. And live around the corner. It drives me nuts.

My oldest child is 3.5, so they're too young to be outside unsupervised anyway, but while I very much wish I could send them outside with minimal supervision to play with friends in a couple yrs, I don't think I can do this. Not because it isn't safe; I think it probably is. But because 1) there aren't any other kids outside playing, which both makes it boring and makes it less safe than it would be otherwise, and 2) the climate of risk makes it such that CPS could get called. It's very sad.

[mommato5]

You know we have a big backyard with water stuff, tree swing, and swingset.

You NEVER know how other children are being raised or what their parents offer them. It is very judgemental to assume because kids aren't filling local parks they MUST be planted watching tv, at the computer, or playing video games. You really don't know!! What about the child inside reading??

[HeidiAnn67]

Terabith, I don't know where you live, but it's sad that it's so bad that the schools don't want kids walking to school. My city is desperatly trying to encourage kids to walk or ride bikes (especially the older ones, middle school age).

Honostly I don't know of a single child abduction from my city (and I'm sure it would have made the news if it had happened), but I did know of one in the little town from my childhood, when I was a kid. I dont think it's more dangerous now.

I really don't understand my generations fear. We were all raised to play freely, walk to school, parents only looking for you at dinner time.
I never knew any kids that didn't like the freedom we had, yet we keep our kids "prisoners of fear" because we're convinced if we let them out of our site for 2 seconds they will be molested, abducted, or turned into drug addicts.

It's crazy :

[mistymama]

HeidiAnn, it's wonderful that some kids can be raised like that .. but it's just not possible everywhere, which is why some cities have rules like they do.

I did not have a ton of freedom growing up .. sure, I rode my bike right around our immediate neighborhood, but that was it. I remember one day my parents "allowing" us to ride our bikes to school (about 2 miles, if that) but they followed us in the car.

I grew up in a fairly large city in Califronia, and it simply wasn't safe to let your kids far out of your sight.

[sebandg'smama]

My kids are outside all the time, but my next door neighbours (who have some of the coolest outdoor toys) are never ever out. I am mystified. This evening at dinner I announced that I had an "Owen sighting" because I sometimes think that the boy must not really exist.

[Kwgrlup]

For me I think it is more parents not wanting their children to be out unattended. When I was 7 I was out and about all summer. There is no way I would allow my 7 year-old to do this. We are gone all summer at the lake, so I do not now how our neighborhood is during the summer. I know during the school year very few children are out and about. My kids are outside in the back yard playing a lot of the time. I would not assume that the kids of your neighborhood are all watching TV and playing video games. I am sure many of them are in the backyard swimming or playing with friends.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by limabean

I hear what you're saying, but Monday at dinnertime probably isn't the best time to get an accurate sample of how many kids are typically outside playing.

Well, I guess we're abnormal, because we don't eat dinner until 7 or 8 pm. My husband doesn't get home until 7 pm most days.

I don't think it's unreasonable to think kids would be at the park at that time. By 5, when I was in high school, I was done with after school sports/clubs, etc and had an hour to kill before dinner. I did my homework after dinner.

[marybethorama]

I think there are a lot of reasons

-people are hesitant to send kids outside by themselves. It's common in my area but there are no kids in my neighborhood now. (there used to be but they moved). I could easily imagine another thread about unsupervised kids at the playground and where are their parents

-a lot of kids are in summer camp. Many don't have SAHMS or SAH caregivers. Or they may be at a relative's house or sitter's house.

-our town has changed a great deal since the time when I was young. Our block used to be home to several families with kids and there was even a park down the street. A school too. Now the kids have grown, they live elsewhere and most of the houses are now rental properties for students. There are not many families living in the center of our town where the closest park is. There is one park close to a newer neighborhood with lots of families but there are no sidewalks and the cars drive 50mph so it's not at all bicycle or pedestrian friendly

-organized sports go all summer here

I would love to see more kids though

[marybethorama]

Originally Posted by sebandg'smama

My kids are outside all the time, but my next door neighbours (who have some of the coolest outdoor toys) are never ever out. I am mystified. This evening at dinner I announced that I had an "Owen sighting" because I sometimes think that the boy must not really exist.

hehe

There's a family down the street that apparently has kids but I've never actually seen the kids. I do hear them sometimes so i know they play in their yard. I've never seen them walking though.

[DollyX]

there is a great book about this very topic- i recommend it! it is called "last child in the woods." check it out if you can, it may make you think twice about a lot of the propaganda we hear in the media!

[Jenlaana]

My son is 12 and I just a few months ago let him start riding around the block. I live in a very small town in a fairly low traffic neighborhood. Its about 5 blocks to the dollar store, and 5 blocks to the mini grocery store, and about double that, over one "big road" to the park. I would never let him go there alone. Sorry. My son cannot function without issue in the grocery store, has already been in trouble for "bathing" in the neighbor's water fountain with the kid next door... So going so far that I cannot find him inside of 10 minutes just isnt going to happen.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by TechnoGranola

My daughter is always making up games with her own rules. She takes every board or card game and makes a version with her own rules. She also makes up magic tricks and writes her own music. Earlier this summer before our yard was landscaped, in the dirt, she made a town of stick and rock people complete with a school and a cemetery. Last weekend she was "construction supervisor" and helped lay our sod.

A lot of children do this. All of my children started doing pretend play as early as 3 years old. They all know how to use their imagination. That's a normal part of growing and learning for all children and has nothing to do with how much time is spent outdoors or alone and away from his/her parents.

Oh and on the sod comment, that's cute!!! We run a landscaping co so the last time I made a run for sod in our big dump truck I took two of my kiddo's along for the ride and they helped at the jobsite. My kids are definitely workers and they like to get out and do real-life stuff not just waste time bumming around all day outdoors.

Jenlaana ~ Your reasoning for not allowing your son out alone for very far is the same I have. I don't want my oldest son out alone not because he will get in trouble but because he doesn't like doing things alone anyway. He is very mature for his age and actually likes being with me or dad and doing things with us. If we lived in a city then I would be the same way. Then I wouldn't want him with a bunch of boys hanging out because chances are that atleast one of those boys will want to try to get the others to do things they shouldn't. It's called peer pressure.

My DH and I both remember it. We grew up in city neighborhoods and roamed the streets all day and most of the nights with or without or parents permission. We just won't let it start with our children if we can prevent it.

I realize all parents are different. But IMHO there is as difference in making sure your child is getting an adequate amount of outdoor time each day versus pushing them to go out alone or with kids their own age to just "hang" and have no real goal in mind for the day. Nope, I won't do it with my children.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by mommato5

You know we have a big backyard with water stuff, tree swing, and swingset.

You NEVER know how other children are being raised or what their parents offer them. It is very judgemental to assume because kids aren't filling local parks they MUST be planted watching tv, at the computer, or playing video games. You really don't know!! What about the child inside reading??

Agreed! I see so many kids doing really cool things with their time. I was raised in the late 60's early 70's and I think that many things are much, much better for kids now than then.

1) For starter, girls play sports now. It was very unusually when I was growing up and girls who played sports where seen as weird. Now it is normal. Now most little girls I know play at least one sport. My DDs (who are 9 and 10) do, and I see how wonderful it is for them.

2) There are more programs for latch key kids. Back when I was a child it was seen as just fine to put a key on a piece of yarn, put it around a 5 year's old neck, and let them fend for themselves after school and all day in the summer. Now there are wonderful programs for kids where they play, go swimming, do crafts and so on. This is so much better!

3) The quality of TV programs and the enrichment that computer games can provide. When I was a kid, it was Gillian's Island and Gidget movies. My kids watch less TV than I did as a child, and they watch really great things like Animal Planet and Discovery Channel. On the computer they do things like build and run zoos, explore under the ocean, etc. TV and computers are part of their enriched and balanced lives.

BTW, we haven't been to the park in months. It's uncomfortably hot here. We have spent lots of time at the pool, the beach, the summer reading program at the library, and so on. But no time at the park where the equipment is currently so hot that it could burn skin.

I also find the praise of children spending huge amounts of time unattended odd. I spent huge amounts of time unattended as a child and that is part of the reason that we have the sacrifices for me to be a SAHP. I keep an eye on my kids. When it cools down and we go back to the park, I'll be there either reading a book and doing some needle point -- just in case they need me. That is what I am doing with my life right now -- being there in case they need me.

[Mom2Joseph]

This thread prompted me to have a discussion with my mother last night about how unsupervised we were as kids when we went out to play. She started laughing and asked what I meant. I told her how I remembered going out to play all day, from friends house to friends house, to the school yard next door, camping out, swimming for hours in our pool, all unattended. I had assumed without her knowing everything I was doing.....that I was unattended. I just thought I had to be home for dinner or when the street lights came on. My mother laughed hysterically. I mean, she just rolled.... Obviously, I thought I had been unattended, but she said she always knew what house I was at, which kids I was playing with, watched while we were in the pool, hid in the bushes while my brother and I camped out, alone at night (good thing because I got hurt and her and my dad were right there). She was incredulous that I thought I had been "unattended".

So, maybe we *thought* we were unattended but really were. Maybe we *thought* our parents didn't know what we were doing, but really did. Our perception as children is not necessarily the reality.

[limabean]

I thought about this thread when I was at the park with my DS yesterday (Tuesday from 5:00 to 6:00pm). In addition to the 7 little ones (ages 2-6) playing in the playground area with parents supervising, there were:

5 boys (ages 8-10) playing basketball
4 girls (ages 8-12) playing on the tennis courts
3 boys (ages 8-10) running around playing on the grass
2 teenage girls sitting and talking
1 boy (age 9) walking a dog

It's interesting how different everyone's experiences are. I totally agree that overall there's been a shift from playing outdoors to playing inside/in the yard/at scheduled activities, but in some areas there still appears to be a healthy number of kids playing outside.

[NaturalMamma]

Originally Posted by Twocoolboys

I agree, but I do have to say that as a mom of an 8 year old, it's harder than you think. I was vehemently against scheduling my children for things like summer camp or other activities because I just wanted them to be outdoors playing in the summer. I remember doing all those great things as a kid, riding bikes, playing hide and seek, whatever. So, for my son's first two years of school, I didn't sign him up for any summer activities.

We have kids in our neighborhood and I just kind of assumed that if I sent ds out to play, there would be others out there too. Well, all of these other kids were at camp or wherever every single day!

:

Our DD, almost 7, is an only child and I have had to schedule her for some activities this summer for that very same reason. All the other kids are scheduled to death and she gets bored. I do make sure she gets plenty of outdoor time...she is definitely an outdoors person and I want to nurture that. It's the other kids who prefer to stay in and watch TV/play videos.

Things sure have changed since I was a kid. I feel very blessed to have had so many friends to play with and hang out with. The only activity I was ever involved in was girl scouts. I never felt deprived. We didn't even have the word "playdate"

If children from 300 yrs ago could see kids now....

[HeidiAnn67]

Well, I grew up in small town, everyone knew each other.
I know there were plenty of times we did things the adults didn't know about (if they had we would have heard about it), but there were other times we were surprised. I remembered one time my friend Jenn and I had been somewhere (I don't remember the details), I just remember us getting back and going into her house and he mother asking us "why were you at (where ever it was)" and we were SHOCKED that she knew.

As an adult I see how unshocking it is It was a small town, anyone could have seen us and called her.