Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › Preteens and Teens › She will never let me take her kid anywhere again..
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

She will never let me take her kid anywhere again..  

post #1 of 39
7/31/07 at 1:33pm
Thread Starter 
My family and I have a small cabin in the mountains in Arizona.

My 14 yr dd likes to take friends up for the weekend with her, otherwise, she gets bored. Her best friend has been up there with us before, and went with us this weekend.

This weekend was the "Too Broke for Sturgis" Motorcycle ride in a very small town nearby. We wanted to see two friends who lived up there, AND see the motorcycles. (Harley's and such)

Her freind was horrified by all the bikers. Only a few looked like "bikers". None of them was cussing, or behaving badly at all. In fact, they were extremely polite. The motorcycles were pretty awsome. There were at least a thousand bikes and bikers.

SO, Mom now thinks I took her child to a "Biker" community. I explained it was a rally, and not a community. Most Bikers are regular 9-5 people during the week, and they put on a leather jacket and a bandana when they ride.

Anyway, The girl's mom is not happy with us. I apologised profusely, and tried to tell her we were just in town to see these two families who have a cabin in that town.

Am I way off here? Would you be offended if your friend's parents took you to a town where a bike rally was being held?
post #2 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:11pm
Thread Starter 
Oh. We were in town for less than 40 minutes, and never talked to a single Biker. We watched one of my daycare girls fish in the pond.
post #3 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:31pm
I would not be upset. I am missing why its a terrible thing to look at motorcycles.....
post #4 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:33pm
heh, My dad IS one of those bikers. He is a professional photographer and in his free time he rides his harley. So, I completely understand how innocent (and fun!) a biker rally is. I think she is over reacting a bit. Hopefully she will cool off as a little time passes and come to her senses!
post #5 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:35pm
dh could have been one of those bikers in days past. I'm not getting the issue she has.
post #6 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:40pm
I don't think she's as freaked out about bikers as she is about the rumors of what bikers do (sex,drugs, rock n roll kinda thing..) It's probably just her fears of a stereotype, but all the same- they're her fears. I don't think it's a big deal, and you sound like you're handling it the best way possible... but try to understand that she had some fears (whatever they are) whether they are rational to us or not.

A lot of my family are bikers... I think they're big teddy bears.
post #7 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:45pm
Um...wow. That's...: Can we say closeminded???
post #8 of 39
7/31/07 at 2:52pm
Not sure that I would be upset, but I can understand why someone would be and I dont' think it's being close-minded.

I lived right outside of Daytona Beach FL for a while. Yes, there is a *lot* of crime that goes on during bike week. There is also a lot of legal behaviour that some parents would not want their minors around. I am sure that most bikers are decent people, but there are always the rotten apples that make the rest of the basket stink so to speak - ruin it for others.

Also, during Daytona Bike week there are a lot of deaths from motor vehicle and motorcycle accidents. There is just a higher risk of that with a lot of bikes around. Espec if some bikers are drinking (again, I know, a few ruin it for all).

So I can see a parent not wanting their child/teen around that even tho most of it is going to be pure innocent fun. And maybe they are just afraid because they know someone who was seriously hurt in a motorcycle accident.
post #9 of 39
7/31/07 at 3:26pm
Maybe this mother has had a bad experience associated with motorcycles, such as a loved one who died in a motorcycle accident. (or any number of other things.)
post #10 of 39
7/31/07 at 3:33pm
Your friend doesn't get out much, does she? Bikers aren't all Hell's Angels for heaven's sake!
post #11 of 39
7/31/07 at 3:44pm
I a biker, so it wouldn't have bothered me a bit!
post #12 of 39
7/31/07 at 3:51pm
I come from a biker family as well so it wouldn't bother me. In fact the big bike rallies in my hometown usually centered around a charity- like every year they do the Toys for Toys run- thing like that. These events are meant to be family events so there are always lots of kids. Like Susan Elizabeth (which is my mom's name btw) said there may be some underlying reason- but if not she is definitely overreacting.
post #13 of 39
7/31/07 at 3:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached Mama View Post
Not sure that I would be upset, but I can understand why someone would be and I dont' think it's being close-minded.

I lived right outside of Daytona Beach FL for a while. Yes, there is a *lot* of crime that goes on during bike week. There is also a lot of legal behaviour that some parents would not want their minors around. I am sure that most bikers are decent people, but there are always the rotten apples that make the rest of the basket stink so to speak - ruin it for others.

Also, during Daytona Bike week there are a lot of deaths from motor vehicle and motorcycle accidents. There is just a higher risk of that with a lot of bikes around. Espec if some bikers are drinking (again, I know, a few ruin it for all).

So I can see a parent not wanting their child/teen around that even tho most of it is going to be pure innocent fun. And maybe they are just afraid because they know someone who was seriously hurt in a motorcycle accident.

I agree with this poster. I also live close to Daytona and dh & I used to go to bike week every year before we had children. Its not a place I would want to take my children.

Now the bike rally you went to may be nothing like Daytona, but maybe her mom doesn't realize that.
post #14 of 39
7/31/07 at 4:05pm
Replying again to note that Biker's for Christ will be coming to our church in a few weeks, and I'm sooo excited about it! In fact, my biker-friend and I took my kids to the Harley shop on Saturday so we could get them t-shirts to wear to church that day!
post #15 of 39
7/31/07 at 5:12pm
Thread Starter 
They did raise money for the forestry service. (forest fires)

But, if we had been doing anything more than driving through, and stopping at the pond, I could understand. We weren't at the campground, we weren't in the bar... But, we did look at all the bikes as we drove by.

My neighbor is a biker, he has an Indian and a Harley. But, he's also a buttoned up business man M-F. WHen I told her Mom "Kenny's a biker" SHe was surprised.

So, I think she has a vision of bikers being rowdy, rough and destructive.

We talked a little at the Freshman orientation, and she admitted that perhaps her daughter exaggerated the experience a little.

But, sheesh.. they really need to get out more.
post #16 of 39
7/31/07 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached Mama View Post
Not sure that I would be upset, but I can understand why someone would be and I dont' think it's being close-minded.

I lived right outside of Daytona Beach FL for a while. Yes, there is a *lot* of crime that goes on during bike week. There is also a lot of legal behaviour that some parents would not want their minors around. I am sure that most bikers are decent people, but there are always the rotten apples that make the rest of the basket stink so to speak - ruin it for others.

Also, during Daytona Bike week there are a lot of deaths from motor vehicle and motorcycle accidents. There is just a higher risk of that with a lot of bikes around. Espec if some bikers are drinking (again, I know, a few ruin it for all).

So I can see a parent not wanting their child/teen around that even tho most of it is going to be pure innocent fun. And maybe they are just afraid because they know someone who was seriously hurt in a motorcycle accident.
Quote:
Originally Posted by olehippy View Post
I agree with this poster. I also live close to Daytona and dh & I used to go to bike week every year before we had children. Its not a place I would want to take my children.

Now the bike rally you went to may be nothing like Daytona, but maybe her mom doesn't realize that.


I too lived near daytona and i wouldn't take my son or any kid to bike week..
post #17 of 39
7/31/07 at 5:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached Mama View Post
Not sure that I would be upset, but I can understand why someone would be and I dont' think it's being close-minded.

I lived right outside of Daytona Beach FL for a while. Yes, there is a *lot* of crime that goes on during bike week. There is also a lot of legal behaviour that some parents would not want their minors around. I am sure that most bikers are decent people, but there are always the rotten apples that make the rest of the basket stink so to speak - ruin it for others.

Also, during Daytona Bike week there are a lot of deaths from motor vehicle and motorcycle accidents. There is just a higher risk of that with a lot of bikes around. Espec if some bikers are drinking (again, I know, a few ruin it for all).

So I can see a parent not wanting their child/teen around that even tho most of it is going to be pure innocent fun. And maybe they are just afraid because they know someone who was seriously hurt in a motorcycle accident.
I don't doubt that what you have described about Daytona is true. But couldn't this arguement be used for any kind of large gathering (music festivals, concerts, political rallies, religious events, etc.)? In any large crowd there will be people doing things we don't approve of, like, or that are illegal. Should people avoid all large gatherings for fear of being exposed to something they are not use to or might diapprove of? Should we shield our children (in this case teenagers) from things that might weird them our in some way. That just seems overly reactionary.

And the OPs family wasn't participating in the event, they just passed by it...that to me is what makes any negative reaction over the top, close minded and based on a stereotype of what the mother "thinks she knows".

I am not a biker, but I have always had a secret desire to be one . If only I could convince DH to join me:
post #18 of 39
7/31/07 at 5:44pm
No bikers in our family, and my uncle was killed on a motorcyle, but WTF, lady? I wouldn't have a problem with my kids being at a place like you described, or even hanging out among the bikers. I CERTAINLY wouldn't object if my kids were practically adults! 14??!!

: I probably wouldn't be trying to get back into her good graces, as I'm sure I would have laughed in her face if I found out she was upset about something so silly. I'm just not that nice, I guess.
post #19 of 39
7/31/07 at 6:44pm
My dh is a biker!

And I know many other great biker people.

Charity rides raise tons of money for different organizations. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
post #20 of 39
7/31/07 at 7:30pm
She must have a terrible twisted idea about bikers. Not all of them are Hell's Angels!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Preteens and Teens
This thread is locked  
Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › Preteens and Teens › She will never let me take her kid anywhere again..