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Another month, another baby for the May '04 Mamas! ;) - Page 17

post #321 of 441
oh and elsanne....holy moly does she have some nerve! loved lisa's take on the situation.
post #322 of 441
TC- heck yeah, I'll take those laboring vibes now. We're ALL READY. (said with emphasis for the peanut to hear). We're so ready, I'm out the door to go get my freaking oil changed at jiffy lube. bring it on, baby! And hooray on the house! I'm so excited for you.

sarah- the lentil hits occasionally. Not so much now- now he's into throwing, which is almost as frustrating. But we've had to do time-outs for hitting. We take a pretty strong stance on hitting and throwing- they definitely earn him a time-out, without pause. After a time-out, he really doesn't do the behavior again for a loooong time. When I say time-out, I physically take him away from the situation and sit with him for a minute or so while he screams and I'm silent. I tell him we're having a time out for hitting before we sit, and when we get up I repeat that we had a time-out for hitting. We repeat that hitting is not allowed, ever. Throwing is a little more difficult because it's hard to get really upset if he throws paper or something small, you know? Now that I'm thinking about it, I can't remember the last time the lentil hit someone, so I guess the time-out lesson worked. Famous last words, right? Anyway, my point is that we have a zero-tolerance policy for hitting and it seems to have worked. In fact, that's about the only discipline thing that we do that has worked.

elsanne- that lady is wack. and apparently she doesn't know beans about three year olds. freak.

Oh, and in the past three days the lentil has figured out yet another way to drive me completely, completely insane. For awhile he would do this thing- "Mom, can we...." over and over for about 20 minutes, never finishing his thought, and leaving me hostage to his question. Now he's replaced that with "why?" as in
"Eat your breakfast please."
"because you need energy for school today."
"because it's important to be strong and food makes you strong."
"Because your body needs food to grow and think."
"Because the metabolic pathways of a three year old are....." etc. And this will inevitably end with a "Why?" because he's not listening in the first place. I know it's a necessary developmental stage, but it's making me INSANE! : I hate resorting to "Because I said so" but that seems to be the only way to stop the cycle. GAH!
post #323 of 441
EL - wow, you do sound ready!

re: hitting and the like. We also do timeouts but only if Eleanor hurts someone (hitting, kicking the cat, picking up sister by her head when told not to touch said sister). In general, I don't like the idea of withholding attention to gain compliance (which is what I think timeouts basically are), but when it comes to hurting others with a child that has not developed much in the way of empathy, well, it worked for us.

Re:throwing. We have a no throwing anything but balls rule and a child who likes rules. If it's a paper airplane, she comes and asks if it can be "throwded". I am not sure that is replicable to other kids.

Rehy? Have you tried, "Why do you think?" or "Why do you ask?"
post #324 of 441
Originally Posted by A&L+1 View Post
Rehy? Have you tried, "Why do you think?" or "Why do you ask?"

laboring vibes comin' atcha, elola... and a :dusy (because that's what i typed at first and it reminded me of kk's :hag and it really is a dusy/doozy when it comes along )

post #325 of 441
THanks for the feedback, mamas, it echoes what I've been hearing around and yeah, she's just got her "thing" and places great emphasis on it. Whatevah. I was especially honored to be the protectee by Lisa, thanks for that: : I really miss having a partner who does that "protective" thing. I feel so very all alone, woman warrior, rah rah rah, too much of the time and just want to be the damsel in distress sometimes, yknow?
post #326 of 441
Els, anytime you need a knight in shining armor you can count on me.

Hey, have you all done a personality type indicator type thingee before? I am an INTJ, what are you?

INTJs are introspective, analytical, determined persons with natural leadership ability. Being reserved, they prefer to stay in the background while leading. Strategic, knowledgable and adaptable, INTJs are talented in bringing ideas from conception to reality. They expect perfection from themselves as well as others and are comfortable with the leadership of another so long as they are competent. INTJs can also be described as decisive, open-minded, self-confident, attentive, theoretical and pragmatic.

post #327 of 441
Thread Starter 
I should reply to more people, but I must go play a game with T:

Just wanted to say that L (though 2 yrs younger than *your* L MCSB ) has been hitting a lot lately, too (I even blogged about it). What I neglected to say in my blog post is that it strikes me as being so ridiculous that whenever she does it, we just start singing, "Mean baby, mean baby, mean baby, mean baby, MEAN BABY!" (Believe me, there's a catchy tune that goes with it.) So I obviously have nothing of value to share with you about hitting... :

Thinking of many more of you, *will* write more sensibly and supportively (?? is that a word??) later.
post #328 of 441
It sounds like Lily is having a hard time expressing what is buggin her in that moment. Maybe she is tired and can't come up with the words, yet as a 3yo is realizing that she can have desires in the world and sometimes gets them and wants to influence that more (typical 3yo stuff expressed poorly by 30yo). Maybe help her by refelcting what she is feeling -you seem frustrated, you wanted ice cream... Not that you have to give in, but then follow up with hitting hurts, use your words say "I am frustrated blah blah blah". This is what I have been trying to do lately but Julia only hits her sister. With Naomi I would usually just say hitting hurts, I don't like it when you hit and if you hit me I no longer want to ...(whatever we were doing at that time) and then change activities, not really ignoring her perse but not really paying attention to her. That worked too. Julia needs above method because her older sister can't bear to not play with her

I am ENFP and forget the implications of that. Generally though E's speak before thinking and are masters of the monologue!
post #329 of 441
nuggets: last time i checked, i was ENFP, too. i like keirsey's descriptions of the types best: here's the ENFP Champion. the parts about striving for authenticity and searching out the "truths" are particularly resonant with me.

bill and i are IM'ing from kitchen (me) to 30 feet away home office (bill)... ahh, brings back memories of our first summer together...

post #330 of 441
Originally Posted by TurboClaudia View Post
bill and i are IM'ing from kitchen (me) to 30 feet away home office (bill)... ahh, brings back memories of our first summer together...


I'm an ESFJ... it seems to fit me.
post #331 of 441
Just rescuing us from page two...

We're doing okay here. Just not able to find much free time to post anything, but I am reading. Naps are tricky here. G doesn't want to take one, and A will take one, of course, but it takes her a while to go down. By the time she's down, G is up, and I really, really need to get a nap! This is just a recent development since my mom left on Thursday. I'll have to figure something out, but I don't have any great solutions right now. Nights aren't awful, but I'm not sleeping really well while A is sleeping. I guess I'm just re-adjusting to the whole sleep thing, but it is a challenge.

A got a runny nose from G, which is tough for a tiny nose-breather like her to deal with. She's gaining weight like a champ though. At our two-week visit yesterday, she's up to 7 lb. 15 oz., (13 oz. gained since birth). Also, my stitches are gone and perineum is healing well.

In other news, I'm an INFJ. Though, I've since taken other personality type indicators that I feel are more descriptive of my real self. But, the INFJ is a good explanation of the ways I act in the world.

I send many good thoughts to all of you...so many of you are going through so many complicated, hard things...and my brain feels inadequate right now to really respond. Know that you are in my thoughts often.

Okay, must really go to bed.
post #332 of 441
ENTJ. Don't hate me. No shocker that I became a teacher.

Worked my butt off this weekend. Exhausted. Need a shower badly.

W is so cute, crawlin across the floor all day, but I had a hissy fit when he didn't go down to sleep when I got home from work. Passed him off to dh in high dudgeon.

Thanks for the update, Jacq! And thanks for the stalker update, EL! comin your way.

Thinking of you, TC.
post #333 of 441
ESFP here: the "entertainer". Hm.
post #334 of 441
Thread Starter 
Jacquie, I had the napping problem you describe when Z was born (and T was ~3), and I came up with a solution (out of sheer desperation). I would nurse Z side-lying while reading books to T (T and I were obviously both lying down as well). I would read for at least 30-45 minutes, and then tell him that we had to both lie still and close our eyes for 10-15 minutes (if he wasn't already asleep by then). This would generally do the trick; he was usually asleep by the end of it, and I could sneak away (also, baby surrounded by pillows, peeked in on frequently). I bumped his nap back (later) when he was 3, too... whereas when he was younger, I could get away with a 1 pm or sometimes even earlier nap, by age 3, it was often as late as 3 pm (and yeah, no dire consequences from that for us, though I know that might not be true for everyone). Even if the above process doesn't yield an actual nap, it does allow both of you an opportunity to rest and unwind for a bit.

Myers-Briggs: I'm definitely an I, but I'd say I'm borderline on most of the categories (and I have a hard time answering honestly). I think I'm most likely an INFP, or perhaps an ISFP, or INTP. (I guess the P is probably not in debate, either.) Definitely not an ISTP, though. Jacquie, if you're an INFJ, isn't that the best personality for a minister's wife?

We went on a date last night, and I think we have finally scored a good babysitter (after all the flaky no-shows). *That* makes me really happy.
post #335 of 441
Supposedly I'm an INFJ. But I have a really hard time with that kind of test; it seems so random and doesn't allow for "sometimes" and "usually" and overall conditional factors.

I just found out that one of my IRL friends is pregnant with TWINS (natural). She has a just-turned-3-year-old girl already. Wowee and yikes.

I need some grounding right now. Too much going on; I feel at loose ends and like I can't keep a single thought in my head long enough to complete anything. Arrrrrgh.

post #336 of 441
on the keirsey questionnaire in his book Please Understand Me II, i looked at how the answers were scored as i was doin the questionnaire and that helped me narrow down the possibilities to two. for bill, who hates doing these type of assessments, i looked at all the descriptions and picked four possibilities for him and then made him read them and he just picked which one he is. i recommend just reading through his descriptions and many times you can eliminate about half of them right away. i have the whole book if anyone wants me to look up more detailed descriptions.

stefan's been having tough nights of sleep lately. waking up at 4am and screaming bloody murder, playing with the blankets, not wanting to nurse anymore, not wanting to rock to sleep, or rocking to sleep but then when i go to lay down with him, he wakes up. hates rocking with bill, bill's back aches when he walks around with him for more than two minutes, so he just resorts to the car-sleep induction method, which is probabky not the safest when he is only half awake at 4am. just waiting for a break in this crazy new sleep pattern.

post #337 of 441
What the heck is going on here? It's a sad, sad day when I am the morning goddess!!!

: : :

Ladies, it is a beautiful day here at my house. Do you know why? Because today is the first day of school for Sultan!!!! He is up and out of the house until nearly 3:00!!! Woot! I was starting to feel bad for him - we don't leave him home alone so he's been having to schlep around with me and the little kids for several weeks now, and doing little kid activities (library, park, gramma and granpa's house for hours on end) had to be getting old. And on a sentimental note, I can sort of hardly believe it - he's in HIGH SCHOOL now. I've been living with John since he was a mere 4 yrs old. Wow.

Happy, Sunny Monday's to everyone! I expect everyone to be cheery and shiny today. Heck, if I can pull it off, so can you!
post #338 of 441
Meg- congrats on the freedom and relieved child! I can't wait for Dom's preschool to start. Not that I want to "get rid of him"... it's that he's so excited and I can't wait for him to get those experiences there. We'll see how it goes one week into it though...
post #339 of 441
Thread Starter 
Different situation entirely, but I was coming to report that today is T's first day of first grade. : Sigh. I will miss him. Z will start preschool after Labor Day.

In other news, we're finally having the falling down sections of our fence replaced, and the guy we've worked with on stuff like this in the past has a different crew this time, and it's been very : for me. I'm pretty close to asking if we can have a different set of guys doing the work.

And in other other news, Z has gotten a few mosquito bites lately, and he seems to be allergic to them (they get big and purple and he scratches them way too much). As a result, the impetigo is back, and I cannot remember for the life of me where the prescription antibiotic cream for the lesions went... it's not where we keep the rest of the medications/prescription stuff (on a high shelf in the cool dark pantry), so I'm going to have to search for it. This needs to get cleared up pronto or we will have no social life.
post #340 of 441
kk--impetigo story--when I was in college, I went to Mexico and had a reaction to some paba sunscreen on my face. It was a horrible reaction--and I thought it was a rash of some kind, quien sabe, it started to crust over and I thought it was a big cold sore, anyway it kept growing and growing and getting REALLY CRUSTY and gross because it was untreated, ending up crusting over my entire mouth area so I could not open my mouth to eat, and drank from a straw...it was horrible. and REALLY gross. Finally the docs figured out what it was and treated it, and it went away--but those weeks I barely went to class, I kept hiding my face, I was truly gross...I got a couple Ds that quarter because I didn't go to class. It was awful. The docs were not looking for impetigo in a college age person; that really surprised them.

My daughter is NOT going to school this year, at least so far--I am a little sad about it but not really. It's a money issue for me, and also because the girls actually play together now and the baby would be very, very bored alone at home. Congratulations on your first's first day of first grade! Ickle Firsties!
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