So anyway- I was picturing naughyt magnets or bad words.
My 2cents- if it is indeed a huge issue for you to have your pictures on the fridge exactly the way you want them- WHO CARES
Don't we all have pieces of our life and surroundings we like a certain way!?! I know I do. For me, it is my bathroom closet and where the toothpaste and toothbrush is located. My kids have learned not to move them and if they must to make sure the are replaced exactly where they were. They have their own shelf.
So in that same vein- if your dsd wants to put things on the fridge, can't she be assigned an area on it that is specifically hers? You should be able to have your space unmessed with. Just let her know you need those pictures that way and if she wants to put something on the fridge, to please do it in another spot.
For my kids and me, it is not a control issue. It is a matter of being respectful of another person's request. If we love each other and want to try to make each others' lives easier, I don't think it is asking too much to have personal items a certain way, even if they are in public space, especially when there are alternative locations for other's affects.