Considering homebirth

[Valerieg]

Hey ladies!

DH just shocked me...completely and totally shocked me. We were talking about friends of ours that live an hour and a half away and won't travel here for a party...and I laughed and said that we went at least that far right up to DD's birth (mostly because the tri-state area is so huge). I also said that I didn't care which hospital I delivered at because it didn't matter to me much who actually caught the baby and cleaned it up.

Then I mentioned that I wouldn't mind a homebirth and he said, okay let's do it. I was ecstatic.

But then I realized that I know nothing about what it takes to actually have one, who to contact, etc. Could anyone give me direction?

I love my OB and didn't mind the hospital with DD. But the thought of being able to birth at home sounds so good to me. TIA!

[GinaRae]

YAY for you!!! Good luck finding just what you need!!

Look online and check out the Find Your Tribe area on MDC so you can locate a midwife. Realize you will have to pay up front and MAY be reimbursed a bit by insurance later.

[pixiedust]

also try the phonebook... that's how I found my midwife I was really suprised at how reasonable the price is! (and our insurance will reimburse us 100% later) I'm really looking forward to my first homebirth

[Isaac'sMa]

double post. oops!

[Isaac'sMa]

: Good advice above...I just wanted to say how excited I am for you! Great news! :

[crystalalene]

There are sites of organizations that you can use for listings, too.
If you're in NY you can go to homebirthers.org where they've just created a directory. Or search for homebirth in X state and see if you can find a local site, if you don't get any responses on the tribes forum here.
And I have seen flyers and cards up at some of the more 'crunchy' places in my area: the health food store and the Waldorf school.

Good luck!! That's so exciting!

[Grace24]

Congrats! I just found a homebirth midwife yesterday so I get to do it too!

I did what a PP suggested...went to "find your tribe" area. I posted about finding a homebirth midwife in my area and got a PM from one who had an availability. Easy as pie! Good luck!

Oh, and my midwife bills insurance directly but even without, her fee is quite reasonable.

[sorteep]

you mention "tri-state" area.. if you mean PA/NJ/DE and are near Philly I have a GREAT homebirth MW ref for you.. I would be using her *but* DH says no way... I don't know if other areas use that term too... like when people say "the Shore" they mean south Jersey and are from Philly area, or "up North" they mean northern Mich usually.... anyway, let me know! congrats on the HB!!
Laura

[Valerieg]

Sorry...by tri-state I meant OH/IN/KY right by the Ohio river. I often forget that other areas call it that.

I've found two HBMWs so far. We're going to meet with them and see where it goes. So far I'm a little scared as neither of them seem to "fit" me 100% and they're just far enough away to be inconvenient. The one does work with my insurance company though- which is good.

Gosh I wish we had considered this sooner. I feel like 23 weeks is awfully late to be looking for a provider. By the time I find one I like I'll be down to twice-monthly appts already! Yikes!

[sorteep]

I just switched providers also.. it is harder this far along but they just pick it up where they find us! I ma glad for the chg to a MW run birth ctr (but still long for a HB)! good luck

[wwisdomskr]

How's the process going, Mama? I switched from an Ob/CNM practice to a homebirth practice at 30 weeks last time...so I feel ya.

It was one of the best decisions I've ever made, though.

Good luck!

[scheelimama]

Valerie, I'm so happy for you! I so badly wish I could have a homebirth this time, but it's not in the cards for me. There are no homebirth mw's within 4 hours of me (and I've done quite a bit of research).

Laura, that's so funny, I'm from "up north" and that's what I've called it all my life, but I didn't know that mostly only people from Northern Michigan call it that. How funny!

[ckberkey]

23 weeks is fine. I moved and had to get a new OB at 32 weeks with my first and didn't decide to have a homebirth with my second until about the same time... no biggie. The midwife I found was great and we had an absolutely awesome waterbirth. Let us know how your search is going!

Originally Posted by Valerieg

Sorry...by tri-state I meant OH/IN/KY right by the Ohio river. I often forget that other areas call it that.

I've found two HBMWs so far. We're going to meet with them and see where it goes. So far I'm a little scared as neither of them seem to "fit" me 100% and they're just far enough away to be inconvenient. The one does work with my insurance company though- which is good.

Gosh I wish we had considered this sooner. I feel like 23 weeks is awfully late to be looking for a provider. By the time I find one I like I'll be down to twice-monthly appts already! Yikes!

[Valerieg]

Thanks ladies! Things are going great. I think we've chosen a MW and now we just have to decide 100% that we're going to do HB!!!

So far we've only interviewed one MW which I feel comfortable with since 1/ the rest live at least an hour away or 2/ they didn't feel "right" when I talked to them on the phone. I had wanted to interview more but I almost feel like instant friends with this person in a weird way. Not in an intrusive way. Maybe some of you know what I mean. But I don't feel weird telling her things or talking to her about things. That's a great sign for me!

I spoke with the insurance company and it'll be handled as an out-of-network provider. Not wonderful, but I still think it may be less expensive than DD's birth at the hospital. The MW is very reasonable (maybe because she's new to the area and slow...but still...I'll take it).

My pedi is also VERY supportive. He said that he'd be willing to come to our home if necessary (if it isn't office hours) and that we will be the first in his practice to ever do this. He said while it is still his professional opinion that we should go to the hospital (for some reason I think he *has* to say this) that he commends us for being so educated and will support us every step of the way.

So, now I'm just waiting on DH to make the final call about cancelling my OB appt tomorrow and scheduling one with the MW. Either way I will be meeting with the local OB that supports and backs up HB just in case I do end up transferred. But I'd be ending things with my current OB.

That's where things stand. I think before the end of the week we will have a decision one way or the other. It is still so surreal to me though since I can't talk to anyone about it! DH & I have decided that since we won't likely be supported by family and friends that we'll just keep it to ourselves until afterwards. *shrug* Funny, he works with family and had to dodge them throughout his whole conversation with the pedi.

[wwisdomskr]

Wow! It sounds like things are going well. Good luck with your decision. Let us know if you have any questions, etc.

[Valerieg]

At this point we're looking for cons. People that were considering HB and decided against it (doesn't seem like there are many). Like, "why not HB?"

It seems the people that want a hospital birth, overall, would never even consider HB. And that the people that want a HB, overall, have nothing but good things to say about it.

So it's really hard to see a full debate. We're leaning towards HB but who knows. I cancelled my OB appt for tomorrow and rescheduled for next week to give me more time to make a decision.

[scheelimama]

Originally Posted by ckberkey

23 weeks is fine. I moved and had to get a new OB at 32 weeks with my first and didn't decide to have a homebirth with my second until about the same time... no biggie. The midwife I found was great and we had an absolutely awesome waterbirth. Let us know how your search is going!

I agree. I moved around 30 weeks with my first. I found a great birth center and since you have so many visits at the end, I was really able to connect with the mw's there quickly.

[crystalalene]

Congratulations! I hope you fall in love with you mw like I have with mine.

[Kontessa]

I have had 4 Hospital Births and this shall be my first homebirth. Why did I not consider homebirth before? Not being I did not trust the history of birth, but because I was a big baby for one, thought I could not handle the pain, and 2 I thought that the experts could help us best.

So with the first three babies I got the Epi, had complications, got sick, but nothing BIG. With my last baby though, I had come to trust my body so much, trust myself, hate the hospital, that when my water broke 2 weeks "early" I did not rush into the hospital. I went to church, to choir practice, I sang and laughed and had a painless labor. I do mean that! Infact I got worried as it was not hurting enough my 9pm. LOL Hubby and I and a choir friend where made to wait in the waiting room for over an hour. The staff did not believe I was in labor or that my water had broke. We kept singing and having a good time. When they checked me, it all went down hill. I was at 7cm, a shock, and too late for Epi as baby was all of a sudden coming fast and oh how I hurt. I paniced. Dr laughed at me about a lot of things. Baby was born 20 minutes after I was checked. No pain killers. I was in shock.... Dr was useless, we sang my son into the world as I had no idea how to have natural birth and was not breathing well, singing helped me focus and breath.

What if I would not have paniced? What if I would have had a supportive "expert" and not some jerk laughing at me. What if I had been ready for it?

So that is why, even without my husband being here this time to help sing this baby into the world, I will be home and I will sing for us. I have built the support team and I am going to be ready. I know I am can have a pain free labor, what else can I do?

And if you need any more help with the idea of not going to the hospital here is something I found in my e-mail today: 90,000 people die each year from HOSPITAL infections: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takea...7?z00m=9452457

My reasons need not be your own, you will get support here either way as it is all about what feels best to you! (((Hugs)))

[Grace24]

OMG what a sweet story about singing your baby into the world! I, too, will be prepared and have my homebirth. One thing that's helped my mom be on board with my not going to the hospital is that her sister developed the MSRA infection they talk about in your link. How totally frightening.

Good luck making your decision...I have only heard good stories from homebirths though, even though some end up in transfers, most don't and everyone I've heard about has been glad they gave birth at home. I just met my midwife for the first time today...came to my house, spent 1.5 hours with me, met the puppies who sniffed out the blood pressure cuff, and had the exam here. Really cool! I loved it!