Poor Families Support Thread August 07 - Page 2

[mrskennedy]

Belleweather! Is there anything we can do to help? Anythin at all? Send coupons or something? I feel horrible for you and know that helpless and terrified feeling! Maybe there's a food bank or church that could help too--if they don't take forever to approve people...

[mrskennedy]

sonrisaa29, keeping fingers crossed that you get the job!

[kijip]

Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel

4) That didn't happen.

So it begs the question- did you kill him yet? :

Glad that you have been able to prevent him from spending unneeded $$- my SIL has the exact problem with my brother and I wanna kick him for her.

[Krystal323]

{{{hugs}}} to Belleweather!! I am so sorry you have to feel scared I promise i didn't mean to pass on the bad luck!!!

the problem with our case turned out to be that i was trusting the local dhs workers to fax my application/proof of everything to the right place at the right time, and apparently the dhs workers don't know how to operate a fax machine and/or didn't care that my case had a deadline, etc etc. apparently they were only faxing the front side of each page, and faxing the pages one by one, all out of order, for weeks after the deadline Like they lost the whole stack of papers and then would randomly find one and go "oh! i should fax this..."

[Belleweather]

Originally Posted by mrskennedy

Belleweather! Is there anything we can do to help? Anythin at all? Send coupons or something? I feel horrible for you and know that helpless and terrified feeling! Maybe there's a food bank or church that could help too--if they don't take forever to approve people...

Thanks, but we're hanging in there. DH called his parents to cry about the power outage, and they offered to send us a check for groceries -- so at least if we put them on the card we can pay it off before we have to pay any interest. I'm also walking down to the local outreach ministry to see if they'll trade me maternity clothes for food pantry stuff; they send out a flyer to the neighborhood once a month saying what they need most and this month it was maternity clothes, especially larger sizes. Since I've got all my XLs and I'm a solid Medium now, perhaps we can work something out.

I just need hugs and support, I guess... I know everyone else has different things where when you do it you feel like you've hit rock bottom, but using that credit card for groceries is mine. I didn't even want him to get the bloody thing, and I believe credit cards are immoral and here we are using it for groceries so we can feed our kid. It really hurts my heart.

the problem with our case turned out to be that i was trusting the local dhs workers to fax my application/proof of everything to the right place at the right time, and apparently the dhs workers don't know how to operate a fax machine and/or didn't care that my case had a deadline, etc etc. apparently they were only faxing the front side of each page, and faxing the pages one by one, all out of order, for weeks after the deadline Like they lost the whole stack of papers and then would randomly find one and go "oh! i should fax this..."

Oh NO. I had a client who used to do when I was doing poverty law that and it made me just LIVID. For some reason she could not grasp the idea that the fax machine didn't fax both sides of a two-sided sheet, so she'd send me hundreds of pages of medical records, all completely out of order and with only one side faxed. I nearly wrung her neck.

[mrskennedy]

Big ol' to Bellweather and the rest of you too! I'm thinking of all of you and keeping my fingers crossed that you get what you need--peace, most of all!

[sonrisaa29]

Can I just say life I think is getting worse, on our way home today my car died. I think its just a computer malfunction thing, but still now I have no car and my mom is coming up from Texas this weel.

Plus my son is 3, please tell me these temper tantrums get easier???? And the Why, why, why, why, for everything!!! I know some of its me because I am more stressed out lately with having no money or job so I just try to tell myself that.

[MamaPam]

I hope everyone's week is much better.

DH has a lead on some contract work. Hopefully that will come through.

[caricandothis]

I'm coming out of lurkdom and joining this month. I'm so totally stressed and just need to hang out with some who understand what I'm going thru. :

My dh makes decent money, enough to support us all. The problem started a few months ago when a large check went thru that we weren't anticipating going thru (it was an earnest check for the house we were going to buy, it wasn't supposed to be processed until we closed but someone didn't get that memo apparently). So the check went thru on the same day that dh paid bills. Every single payment he made bounced. Almost an entire paycheck worth of overdraft fees. : Once we realized what had happened we were almost $1k in the hole. I about died. Luckily we had gone out and bought some groceries and diapers the night before or we would've had nothing.

So since then we've been floating checks and trying desperately to play catch up. We are so broke its not even funny. We're late (way late) on everything so we've got late fees and shut off notices coming in left and right. I can't even answer the telephone anymore because every single call is a creditor wondering when we'll be making June and July's payments.

Dh makes too much to qualify for any assistance. I was working (babysitting), making between $50 - $100 a week which was at least putting food on the table but the mom found a teenage girl who was cheaper so now I make $0. I've been trying to sell everything I think is of value on the TP and other places so that my kids could at least have some birthday gifts (all summer birthdays, of course) and some clothes for fall. I just don't know when we're going to get out of this mess and it has put me in the worst place emotionally that I have been in in years.

Then this past week we actually thought we had a positive balance only to find out that the bank saw that too and took out a double loan payment (!!). Yeah so guess who went back in the red again? I have been on the phone with the bank begging and pleading for them to reverse at least one of the payments (since one of them isn't even due until September!) and at least a couple of the overdraft fees the double payment caused. I feel like such a baby, I'm on the phone bawling. But we need to eat, ya know? :

Gah, I'm sorry for the long rambling whine-fest, I'm just so overwhelmed right now. Dh says that if we can just get thru Aug and Sept we'll hopefully be able to breathe again. I don't know how I'm going to survive 2 more months of this...but I will, I know. Don't have much of a choice.

*sigh*

[mrskennedy]

Originally Posted by caricandothis

I'm coming out of lurkdom and joining this month. I'm so totally stressed and just need to hang out with some who understand what I'm going thru. :

Yeah, they would be us mamas here. Some PP's here have mentioned Angel Food Ministries, Share programs, etc, and there are usually other programs and food banks too. Hopefully they could at least keep your family fed. Is there anything you can borrow against--I've cashed in my life insurance policy for medical bills.
Keeping you in my thoughts!

[Krystal323]

oh man, that is so that the bank just TOOK your loan payments, and in advance too!! they think lining their pockets even thicker is soooo much more important than you guys having food to eat--GAHH that burns me up

some ppl might say it was unethical, but if i were in your situation i might consider threatening to just undo your direct deposit and/or get a new bank account. or even if you can't get a new account, hey, some grocery stores cash checks for only a 1% fee, and you can buy MOs at gas stations. just let them have that negative-lotsa-dollars balance sit there and conduct your business elsewhere. it's a barganing chip on your side, and that way, at least they won't be able to steal your food money!!!

yeah i know that could mess up one's credit, but sometimes drastic measures are needed. i once let a negative balance fester for nearly a year b/c i had little other choice. they actually ended up forgiving the balance when i came to them with a couple hundred dollar check and the promise of renewed business on that account again. in my experience, banks don't want to lose customers with active accounts, even if that means *gasp* forgiving the bogus fees that they decide to charge sometimes. :

so...i have a couple bucks for the moment so i will go check out your stuff on the TP

[caricandothis]

I've actually been pondering all day about that, closing the accounts and just doing money orders for bills for a while. Overdraft fees make me physically ill, its like taking $30 and setting fire to it. Seriously, how do they expect us to ever get back on track when they take every penny that's in there twice over??

I'm going to talk to dh about it tonight.

Thank you for checking out my TP stuff. I've got more that I have to go thru and post too, lots of baby boys stuff, maternity stuff, etc.

I've checked out the AngelFood link before and the closest place is well over an hour away. The church we are going to right now does have a food bank (a small one) and if we don't get some $ before the weekend I'll be asking for a box on Sunday.

Since we aren't buying the house that we had put the earnest check out for, we *should* be getting that $ back soon, I hope. If we could get that this week, itd be such a relief.

[mum4boys]

Originally Posted by Belleweather

I'm terrified of DS being uninsured until feburary, and I'm terrified that if we do spend food stamps on the 11th we'll have to pay them back the money.

And I'm really (#*&$%^ tired of being hungry and terrified.

Your foodstamps should be based on what you made last month not what you are making this month, if that makes sense.

[MamaPam]

Originally Posted by mum4boys

Your foodstamps should be based on what you made last month not what you are making this month, if that makes sense.

I also wanted to add that when we no longer qualified because of income change that we were able to spend the balance on the card. We hadn't spent anything because we were afraid of getting in trouble but then were told when reporting income changes that the balance would remain for us to spend.

-Pam

[Belleweather]

Caricandothis: Firstly, is there anything we can do about gifts for your children? I've been in your place, and it's a horrible feeling that your kids might not get at least a little something they want on their special days. Is there anything in particular they'd like? I'd be happy to check around and see what we can do. And PM me if you need clothes for your littlest DS. I saved every thread that DS, who was born in November 2005 ever wore for a friend's baby who did not survive and I'd be more than happy to pass some of it along to another mama in need and have it not in my house as a reminder. I even have a box!

Second, in your situation I'd totally go cash-only. Make a payment arrangement with the bank and anyone else you can but at least then you know that there's going to be food on the table... the gas and the phone and the car insurance are way less important than full bellies, you know?

Originally Posted by MamaPam

I also wanted to add that when we no longer qualified because of income change that we were able to spend the balance on the card. We hadn't spent anything because we were afraid of getting in trouble but then were told when reporting income changes that the balance would remain for us to spend.

Thanks. One more month is really all we need. Heck, one more week would do it! We won't be out of the hole, but we wouldn't need food assistance at least.

I just need to get up the guts to call about all of this. I found out that it might be possible to get a medicaid waiver for DS that would allow him to remain on the program until we're able to get on DH's work insurance. I'm torn between calling and begging and taking an afternoon off after our u/s next week and going in person and begging. I've never seriously thought about offering someone in authority sexual favors for anything before, but let me tell you I have over this. If one you-know-what could keep DS insured, I'm sure I could convince DH to let me go for it.

[sonrisaa29]

Caricandothis: Is it a bank or a credit union? The reason I ask, is if its a bank try switching to a credit union. I have found our Credit union much more helpful in reducing overdraft fees.

[MamaPam26]

thanks mrskennedy

thanks mrskennedy

[caricandothis]

Belle, thank you so much for the offer but really, I *think* we'll be set for the little ones for their birthdays. It was much harder for the older ones but I was able to get a couple really good deals on the TP for them. I'd been trying to save up to get the little ones some playsilks and some nice wooden toys but I might have to wait until Christmas for those unless I can find some steals on something somewhere before their birthdays. You are too too kind! As for clothes for DS, I've got a cousin who has kept him well-dressed in her son's hand me downs since the day he was born. I haven't had to buy him a single thing because of her, she has been awesome! Hand me downs are the best, aren't they?! Again, thank you for the offer, it really means a lot.

I talked to Dh about the cash only thing and he said that we'd have to sit down and really map it out. I did it before, back when I was paying all the bills (because of this very reason, I hate banks/overdrafts/etc) and everything was paid on time...I had a system and it worked very well. Dh didn't like paying "extra" for money orders and stamps so he took the bills back. Ugh...I don't care anymore, I just want stuff caught up and paid so I dont' have to worry about feeding my kids.

Sonrisaa, it is a bank. I've thought about checking out the credit unions in the area, see what they have to offer. Thanks for the reminder. Any news on the job?

Belle, I hope you get the insurance situation figured out for your DS. I know how terrifying it is for the kids to be without insurance, btdt! *sigh*

[caricandothis]

YAY! I just got off the phone with the bank again this morning. They agreed to reverse the 2nd loan payment and the overdraft fees that it caused!! YAY!!!! I'm so relieved!!!

[mrskennedy]

Originally Posted by caricandothis

YAY! I just got off the phone with the bank again this morning. They agreed to reverse the 2nd loan payment and the overdraft fees that it caused!! YAY!!!! I'm so relieved!!!

That's great! I'm so happy for you!!!