Originally Posted by motherearthdancer
Yes, babies are born beautiful with their foreskin, but my husband and my 1st son are no less beautiful without it. My husband does not feel any animosity towards his mother for circ. him, nor does he want her to appologise for what was the custom of her time. He has no regrets about her decision
I'm glad you're still with us! I love these productive discussions!
You really don't have to feel regret (or anger at your MIL, or anything else) to leave this son intact.
My dh is circ'd. He's not mad at his mom. And you're right, he's still beautiful. BUT we saw NO compelling reason to put our son through the pain and trauma of circumcision. We saw no reason to cut a part of his body off. So we didn't.
It doesn't have to be so polarized, so either/or. You're not calling your dh's penis wrong (or your current son's penis wrong) by making a different choice this time. It would be ok to apologize to son #1 for his circumcision, but you certainly don't have to.
Let's imagine for a minute....please bear with me here. Pretend that you're a single mom, no other children, and there are no other men in your life, so you have no other penis to "compare" to.
You come here to Mothering and read about circumcision. How it's painful and traumatic. How it could disrupt breastfeeding. How the rates are dropping dramatically. How SOME boys end up with horrible complications, or infections. Some boys even die from infections following the procedure. SOME adult men have sexual complications or impotence. SOME adult men are mad at their mothers for cutting them. There are no medical reasons to do it. Etc. Etc. Etc. Based on that information alone (and not the whole "family history,") isn't it a clear choice to leave your son intact?
THAT is what you should base your decision on........what is right for THIS SON, THIS TIME (not based on your previous parenting decisions or your in-laws previous parenting decisions.)
Again, it doesn't "lessen" your son#1 or your husband to not circumcise this son. I promise! You don't have to call it mutilation. You don't have to be hard-core about it, like some of us here are. Just, simply and very easily, don't circumcise your son. Just don't. It's so easy!
If you're worried about how to explain it to your dh or your son, we'll continue to walk you through that.
Any other questions, feel free to ask.