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Moms of Many Gentle Discipline Support Thread - Page 4

post #61 of 144
I promise, it's just one drink at a time.

It's probably a little easier for me to not go in and check on them at bedtime (looking at your kids' ages), as the ones I'm trying to convince myself to ignore as six and almost four. The younger two generally aren't away from us until they're actually asleep.
post #62 of 144
Triaging Needs

How do you do it? Do you have a mental criteria? When all of the kids want something, how do you sort it all out?
post #63 of 144
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Triaging Needs

How do you do it? Do you have a mental criteria? When all of the kids want something, how do you sort it all out?
Great question.

Beyond the fact that the baby almost always comes first, followed by blood and/or vomiting, I have no idea.
post #64 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Triaging Needs

How do you do it? Do you have a mental criteria? When all of the kids want something, how do you sort it all out?


I think this is such an honest question. It happens, you know?

I go to the child who needs the most. Once that child is in my arms or sight, I work from there. So, say a 13 yr old is bleeding, but the 2 yr old nephew is tired and really should have had a nap already, I go to the 13 yr old. The whole time I talk to all of them as calming as I can. But the bloody kid gets my attention. If the bloody kids is beedig from the knee, and the two yr old is about to pitch himself out the window, I go to the 2 yr old, of course.

Buit triage is about getting to the folks who need the most immediate attention.

Later, everyone gets some love, some care, some love talk and my thanks for being so patient when they were in need. Always aknowledge those who waited it out. "I felt so sad that I could not take care of you right away, Thank you so much for for being patinet while I helped your cousin/little sister/brother. I know you needed care. I was thinking about you the whole time I was helping :insert other child's name: and I know it's so hard to wait. You're my little guy and I love you. I'm here now".
post #65 of 144
Right now there is a high chance that two are going to be crying at once with my dog adding the chorus.I do the triage thing as well so sometimes the baby is the one who has to wait because if I take care of DD then I can go back and spend more time with him.It hurts that I have to let him cry while I load or unload the car.I try to anticipate.I also thank the one who had to wait for waiting and give them hugs.
post #66 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
I promise, it's just one drink at a time.

It's probably a little easier for me to not go in and check on them at bedtime (looking at your kids' ages), as the ones I'm trying to convince myself to ignore as six and almost four. The younger two generally aren't away from us until they're actually asleep.
My older two sleep together sometimes in the guest bed, and if we just let them giggle and play for awhile, they'll get sleepy and drift off together. But if we keep going in, it just distracts them until they won't sleep at all. So I'm going to try the drink thing, now. Though this only works on days my dd naps.
post #67 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I wonder how much discipline issues and family management issues overlap? For me, it seems like they intercept all the time. When I'm in a good routine and we have a daily rhythm and I have charts (there's my OCD again, LOL!) and labels and loose schedules, things go great. When we try to wing it, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Like today.
I think this is the key in my family. I need to get into a routine.
post #68 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Great question.

Beyond the fact that the baby almost always comes first, followed by blood and/or vomiting, I have no idea.
That is part of my problem. EVERYTHING seems urgent and important :
post #69 of 144
Would it be OK if I joined in on this thread as well? I haven't finished reading it in it's entirety, yet, but I wanted to jump in and ask this.

I only have 2 kiddos myself, however I do daycare for 3 other children of a good friend of ours. I'm trying to practice GD with my children, and I'd like to with his kiddos, too. Obviously.

So I have 5 kids almost every day of the week. If it's not OK that I get in on this discussion, that is absolutely fine... I totally understand.
post #70 of 144
Of course it's ok - welcome!

We are talking about how to manage multiple needs and still keep on the GD side of things; at least I think that's what we are doing, and that sounds like what you must be trying to do too.
post #71 of 144
I'm SOOOOOOO with you guys!!
I have four kids- DD 7, DS 5,DS 2,DS 6weeks.
Basically I am still recovering from my 4th c-section TOO SLOWLY
due to lack of rest. Because my body feels like I've been hit my
a truck, my patience is non-existent! I haven't slept in weeks, but I'm too much of a control freak to hand off the kids or anything else to get a break. Nursing the two youngest ones is wonderful and draining and I wouldn't change it for the world. Everyone seems to need me at the exact same time:-) I'm so happy to have a big,healthy family, but routines and prioritizing during this long, hot summer seems impossible! I look forward to more advice and support from you SUPERMAMAS!

Tandem nursing, non-circ, TRYING to GD happy mom to 4!:
post #72 of 144
Hello all! Another MOM here trying to figure out what works discipline wise. Being a single mama makes it hard for me as sometimes I really need that extra set of hands to hand a child to, ya know? My 4 year old is my biggest struggle right now. He is soooo stubborn and spiteful and nasty. I feel liek all my work to raise peaceful children has failed with him. WHY does he scream and yell and hit and swear when I never do those things? It gets so infuriating trying to remain calm while he is acting up and I am trying to feed the baby or change my toddler or give one on one time to my oldest. He just acts so selfish....but then, I guess thats cuz he is 4.
Trying to get back on the ball with the chore chart and our routine with storytime, crafts, etc... Everything kinda went to the wayside when teh baby was born. I notice when they get bored they spend all day fighting with eachother and me.
post #73 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by coldfeet View Post
Would it be OK if I joined in on this thread as well? I haven't finished reading it in it's entirety, yet, but I wanted to jump in and ask this.

I only have 2 kiddos myself, however I do daycare for 3 other children of a good friend of ours. I'm trying to practice GD with my children, and I'd like to with his kiddos, too. Obviously.

So I have 5 kids almost every day of the week. If it's not OK that I get in on this discussion, that is absolutely fine... I totally understand.
I am so right there with ya mama! I also babysit for two other children ages 3 years and 3 months full time 6 days a week and I tell the parents I practice GD. (thier mom tried to tell me I could spank them if need be....) I have seen how the childrens behavior improves with me in comparison to thier home atmosphere where there is not alot of respect and alot of spanking occurs.
post #74 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
My latest GD issue:

My kids are 6, 3, 1 1/2 and 12 days and bedtime is making me crazy. My second youngest still wants me to lay down with/nurse him at bedtime but #4 seems to be cluster feeding in the evenings and doesn't want to detach. The oldest two have trouble settling down and them making noise doesn't help ds2 fall asleep.

What do you do at bedtime with a bunch of kids?
This is what I do... I have two toddler beds in my bedroom (with the middle rails out and tied together- like a double toddler bed- very cute!). I nurse newborn and place her on my chest. Then I nurse 2 1/2 yo. Then, he rolls off of my arm, and I rub his back with my right arm and dd's back with my left arm, hoping newborn doen't roll off of my chest! If newborn is awake and nursing and ds wants to also, I nurse them together, although I HATE tandem nursing (makes my skin crawl)- but they're both happy then. Then, when dd is asleep, dh moves her to her own bedroom to sleep for the night. Ds stays in toddler bed for night (usually). Good luck! I don't know how I'd do it with 4kids. Then again, by the time I have a fourth, maybe dd won't need to be touching me to fall asleep. Who knows?!
post #75 of 144
I love hearing about the bedtime routines! I don't feel so alone in my
struggles to try to get four kids down at the same time- two of them
nurslings. Keep the stories coming!




Tandem nursing, non-circ Mama to 4- :
post #76 of 144
Right now we all co-sleep. It makes it easier for now. WHen dad says lights out, everyone cuddles in and goes to dreamy land.

I am lucky though.....my children are pretty sound sleepers.

Maybe it is because they have always co-slept
post #77 of 144
Absolutely! Mine have always coslept also, and are very good sleepers. I was actually mad when dd (4yo) came to me and tod me she wanted to sleep in her "own bed" in her "own room". I knew it would require more work on my part (it hasn't, she sleeps right through the night in there!) and then when ds (2yo) wanted to sleep in his own bed too, I was like... WHAT?!!! He also usually sleeps through the night in his little toddler bed. Both know that they may come into our bed when they want (sometimes in the middle of the night, but always in the morning). I couldn't believe that after all of those years of cosleeping, THEY wanted to get out. Everyone told me that they would NEVER leave the family bed (not that I cared). and here they go on their own! I feel so good that they felt secure enough to sleep on their own, and I KNOW that that has to do with cosleeping! (They can't yet fall asleep on their own, but that's ok by me!)

btw, the baby screaming also throws me over the edge!!! and the worse is when she's screaming and the other two are not listening and we're trying to get out the door and then the baby poops, and then one of the other kids falls...
post #78 of 144
Thread Starter 
Can I get some advice? I need some quick and easy "remedies" for when I am feeling like I'm about to lose it. You know, when the noise is overwhelming and they keep waking up the baby and trying to escape outside in their church clothes and the best plan I can come up with is "we're going to sit on the sofa and look at books for the next hour." I just need some ideas for calming everyone down.
post #79 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Can I get some advice? I need some quick and easy "remedies" for when I am feeling like I'm about to lose it. You know, when the noise is overwhelming and they keep waking up the baby and trying to escape outside in their church clothes and the best plan I can come up with is "we're going to sit on the sofa and look at books for the next hour." I just need some ideas for calming everyone down.
I need some ideas too.
post #80 of 144
Thread Starter 
Sigh. Well, I feel sort of bad. DH came home between services and I drove them all over to church. The plan was Nicholas would go to the nursery, the older two would sit with friends, and the baby and I would go to Mass for the first time in forever.

Except the baby completely freaked out on the way home, and nursed forever, and I missed Mass because honestly, I think God understands not wanting to wake a sleeping fussy baby.

So the other three are at Lutheran church, Daniel is asleep, and I am online.
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