UGh, LONG, in-law rant
I am in such a funky, bad mood. I don't THINK I get crazy moody when I'm pregnant, but maybe I do and don't realize it, or maybe this pregnancy is different... ? But I do know that my source of my bad mood is the fact that my FIL was here visiting and I thought the visit went nicely but I guess I'm niave because my MIL called my hubby yesterday "angry" but he "calmed her down" by the end of the conversation. I just don't even want to rehash it, it makes me so mad.
Weirdly, both my MIL AND my mother are nurses, in their 50s, have been divorced 3 times each and live about 20 minutes from each other. And have issues
. My hubby and I moved our family from South Florida to Michigan for numerous reasons, but I can say that not having to deal with these two on a regular basis is a huge bonus.
Apparently, my mother said to her that my hubby had to get himself fixed and my MIL said I needed to get my tubes tied, so my MIL was angry over their conversation.
First of all, in my dad's family, the people who marry into the family aren't treated as second class citizens, but members of the family. It pisses me off that the two of them were each acting like, oh, MY precious child shouldn't have to be the one snipped; MY child is better than YOURS. Secondly, of course, moreso than that, is just the whole, WTH
: of their conversation in the first place. When my hubby said neither of us were going to do such a thing, she's like "well how are you going to prevent the next one??" Also, apparently they both started getting each other worked up about the upcoming homebirth, so my MIL had to make sure she bitched about that one more time to hubby too.
I wish the two of them (the grandmas) had never met sometimes.
And I hate all the money issues. They make SO much money and have nothing to show for it because they blow through it like it's melting (both my mom and MIL).
And, to me, the money stuff on my hubby's side is this weirdly manuevered minefield of psychological issues - his dad was bragging the whole time about how much money they have and how he is coming into money and money, money, money, and how my hubby's mom writes checks for everyone she knows right and left constantly and how we need to do this and do that and take this vacation and don't worry, they'll pay for everything, and when we talk about how we can't live like that, or we have a budget or we shop at Goodwill, it's like, I don't know, they think we are deprived or something? Like we have too many children already and we suck because we aren't giving the kids we do have a fabulous privileged lifestyle. My in-laws were millionares when their kids were little, they only had two kids and a nanny and went away on trips to Europe without them... they lost all their money since then so they've had to work their way back up I guess, but they still make way more than we do and they just don't. get. things.
Like, hubby's dad was telling me he wanted us to fly to Florida in the fall to go to Walt Disney World for a vacation. Don't worry, he'd pay for everything! OH, can I say SQUEEEEEEE!!!! REally???? Let's just dump all that money into something like that, can we really? With a two-year-old and an infant in tow??? Like, literally, I am giving birth at the beginning of October. When exactly are we supposed to do this? He said January would be too late. And all next year would be too busy for him, but he was trying desperately to convince me it would be good fun for everyone to drag our asses and our three-week-old around Walt Disney World. With the amount of money that would cost for the plane trips and hotels and food and admission, shoot, just give it to us and we'll pay off our car for pete's sake. I wasn't so unclassy as to say that, I just got tired of trying to make him understand why that wouldn't really be fun. That's what I mean by not getting things. I don't think they really raised their kids and they don't understand that you can't just put kids in a box and put them away when you get tired of them, or when they get tired and crabby.
And, of course, my MIL was asking my hubby if he "was happy." And if I bossed him around (which is completely laughable if you knew us IRL, hubby is such an alpha male type and I am so laid back). AND that makes me wonder what exactly my FIL reported when he went back.
I am so lucky, because my hubby could care less what they have to say about anything, none of this bothers him in the least. He has absolutely no need to suck up to them in the least. I'm sure 30 seconds after he told me about the conversation, he wasn't even thinking about it in the least.
I don't know why any of their opinions are getting to me but it all just really bothers me. I don't want to talk to anyone until I give birth because I swear I will just hang up on them if I have to hear one word about homebirth dangers and having too many children.
I guess the problem is that hubby told me about the conversation at all. He probably shouldn't have. I think I'll have to ask him not to share with me in the future because it gets me so worked up. I think he thinks it's funny, and I already know and have known that his mother (and my mother for that matter) are real jackasses so WHY am I even thinking about it?
I swear when did having FOUR children become a LOT? Seriously? I always imagined us having 5 or 6, and that really isn't that many in my mind. WHAT is with people? WHY would ANY grandparent not be excited about more grandkids???? *muttering* Telling us we need to get snipped or tied.... SO. RUDE.
Sorry this was so long. Thanks for listening.
Would anyone like me to post a recipe for pumpkin pie with tofu I just came across yesterday?