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Moms of Many August support thread - Page 3

post #41 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*max*~ View Post
Flapjack, I don't see it as a problem at all. My "little ones" miss the "big ones" when they are at school. They all seem happy to see each other when they come home. I wouldn't put the older kids in charge of the little ones, or anything like that, but I think it is nice if they want to play together, talk about their day, share a snack, etc. My kids are all close in age though - 7,6,3, and 1 so perhaps that makes a difference.

I completely agree. If your kids start to feel overwhelmed or annoyed, I would step in. But I have a feeling it will be a joy for everyone when the older boys get home after the new baby is born and hits the toddler years, etc.
post #42 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngieB View Post
This made me think of a question. Do you feel guilty going to friends or families houses for things like BBQ's and parties and bringing all your kids? Everyone else in our family has one or two kids and then we show up with our 4 (who feel like 12) and they seem to take over. I think about all the food they are eating and just the space and attention they are taking up and wondering of others are bothered by it.
I don't worry so much about the space and attention. I do worry about the food and if they're getting rowdy. I try to bring something to share or otherwise pay people back with generosity.

I do feel like hubby's family makes us feel like a bit of a burden when we invite THEM over to celebrate birthdays. The three boys weren't born here, we moved here, and now we're having #4. I feel like (and maybe I am wrong) they find it a burden to now have to celebrate and attend things for so many more kids.
post #43 of 147
It's funny, because I don't feel that way at church functions or when friends have us over, but I am starting to feel that way around family, like my crew is taking more than their fair share of attention.
post #44 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by party_of_seven View Post
As far at b-day parties go I'm really going to be in a fix next year. The new baby was born in July, and we already had 2 other children born in July. Its going to be chaos next year.
This goes along with my last post. I have the hubster's b-day in June, a son in July and two more in August. It's a big cluster of birthdays.

His mom has been telling him she's too poor, but when I told her just grab a card and $10 for each, she didn't listen and instead she gets them $25 gift cards and sometimes a small gift more. Actually, she gets her biological grandchild more, the others just get the gift card :

Now we're having one in late Nov/early Dec and she's made it CLEAR that's too close to Christmas. SO sorry I didn't plan better for her :

I mean, she only has 365 days to plan the next birthday and if she is going to get $25 gift cards, she can plan ahead. I would rather she act like a loving GRANDMA over gifts any day!!!!! But that's not in the cards :
post #45 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngieB View Post
This made me think of a question. Do you feel guilty going to friends or families houses for things like BBQ's and parties and bringing all your kids? Everyone else in our family has one or two kids and then we show up with our 4 (who feel like 12) and they seem to take over. I think about all the food they are eating and just the space and attention they are taking up and wondering of others are bothered by it.
I don't worry about the food. But then again I usually bring our own food to contribute. And I usually make it something I am sure my children will eat because at times they will not have something that is child friendly. And when we do bring food, I always bring enough to fee us and more, so they can never say we ate all their food. When we go to church pot lucks, I usually make two large casserole dishes of something and it is usually the first things gone.

I do feel the space issue when it is in small area, like when my Mom insisted that we all come to her place for a Christmas party. : She had a small one bedroom apartment. And of course it was freezing rain outside, so I would not be able to send the children out for a while. AND she invited my three brothers with their combined six children, my uncle, and her friend.

Talk about us taking up space! I tried to warn her that it was not a good idea to have the party there, but she insisted. So we just planned to stay a very short time. If there is outside space, I don't even usually think about it because my children love outside.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GinaRae View Post
I would rather she act like a loving GRANDMA over gifts any day!!!!! But that's not in the cards :
This is what I can not bet my Mom or my MIL to understand. Sure children love gifts, but simple dollar store gifts or something hand made, even a candy bar would be just as good as something that costs a lot. AND if they would just be the 'Fuzzy Loving Grandmas' that are all warm and cozy like a snuggly bear and smell like fresh baked apple pies and always had a warm smile and soft heart, that is all the children really want.

What they usually get is a lecture on everything Mom and Dad are not teaching them right, a comment or two (or three) on how expensive it is to buy them gifts and how many grandchildren they have to buy for and how much of their money is having to go to us because we have such a large family, and how much they are not learning because they are homeschooled. :
post #46 of 147

Hello

I guess this would be my first post on mothering.com ever, and I have to say, I love this site! You guys are so cool. There's not many people around me that really live the way we do, with a bigger family or with naturalistic ideas of life. Everything is so about machines and fast-paced lifestyles, we kind of get left in the dust a lot.

Okay, now that my goofy philosophy is over, I just wanted to say that going with your discussion, my four boys are born fairly close together as well, and I also feel kind of strange when we're all at those gatherings. Luckily I'm blessed with a church that has a lot of large families in it, so that's never a problem. My family is pretty cool about it, too. The birthday thing is annoying because a lot of times people just forget when they are but remember my brother's kids or other kids in the family. I've got one in Feb, number 5 due for homebirth in Feb, two the last two days of April, and one in June.

My mom did decide to do something different this year though. She picked kind of a median date between all of them and took them all to spend the weekend at her house and ordered pizza and other things. I told them that was their birthday present and they loved it. Us too, because it was our first date in like 4 years.

Glad to meet you! I hope I make a lot of friends here!
post #47 of 147
Welcome, Jessica17! Always nice to meet another mdc momma.

We are in Indiana also.
post #48 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
So, for our birthdays, we have a family celebrations that routinely includes decorations (but not always), a special cake, and gifts. The Birthday person does not have to do chores that day, they get to pick out their favorite meals for lunch and supper, and they get to pick out a family game or movie for the night. So it kinda lasts all day long.
OK, I never get around to the decorations but I used to. The birthday person is usually a star for the day and they get to plan the day's events/meals within reason. We are having a birthday today and since he wanted a new bike he is at the store with Dad picking out his bike, some Pokeman cards, the cake and ice cream. After lunch he wants to go bowling so we will do that. We don't even buy the themed partyware anymore but use whatever I have on hand.

Well he is home from the store and very, very happy to have done his own birthday shopping. I had two for him to open, a set of new clothes and a set of legos, bought on clearance of course.

Family does small gifts but because they are out of town it doesn't always come at the same time. One grandpa always sends a $1 for every year of age and they love this.

We have done big parties and those are fun too. We have rented movie theaters, swimming pools, gone to the park, roller skating ect. My budget tends to stay the same though and they know if they want a big party like that then they will get less expensive gifts from me.

We have done days at Disneyland too and then they pick out their own present while they are there.

We have just been really fortunate that we can spoil our kids. Other than birthdays and Christmas though they rarely get anything new. The rest of the year things are handmedowns or garage sale finds.
post #49 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by momuveight2B View Post
Other than birthdays and Christmas though they rarely get anything new. The rest of the year things are handmedowns or garage sale finds.
That's us.

My children even consider garage sale and thrift store finds 'new' and are just as pleased, so I am grateful for that. And that I have not had one that has ever been 'into' fashions or something so that they just HAD to have a certain name brand. I figure, they can buy their own when they have their own money.

When we go garage saling, the moment we come home (because we usually just have a Mommy & Daddy day that day) we are converged upon to find out what we brought! It is such a funny sight!
post #50 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
My children even consider garage sale and thrift store finds 'new' and are just as pleased, so I am grateful for that. !

My kids too. They love to go to garage sales and if they didn't get to go that day then they are very eager to see what all we've found. When it comes time to spend their own money they would much rather garage sale where it really goes a long way then go to a store.

People always ask how we can afford our kids and honestly it is because we shop this way. My kids are always decked out in mall name brands from stores we have never been inside of. They have tons of cool toys too.
post #51 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
What they usually get is a lecture on everything Mom and Dad are not teaching them right, a comment or two (or three) on how expensive it is to buy them gifts and how many grandchildren they have to buy for and how much of their money is having to go to us because we have such a large family, and how much they are not learning because they are homeschooled. :
My MIL sticks around only long enough to make some not-so-nice comments, eat, shower the dog with attention, and leave. Luckily the kids usually get sick of her and just go outside to play while she's here.

My mom insists on sending money in the mail and while that's nice, it would be nice to see her hand-pick something small and send it. But at least (around her moods) she's nice and loving and grandma-ish to the boys when she is able to visit.
post #52 of 147

Horrified

The boys keep dirty clothes in a small pile on the floor of their closet in a basket. Today I found out my six year old has (at least twice) peed on the dirty clothes. I was floored. WHY?!

I thought only kids with anger or mental issues did something like that and he has neither. He was so innocently telling me that he figured he could go there because it would dry. He even gave me tips on doing the laundry without getting wet!

Apparently he was just being too lazy to leave his room where he was happily playing. And this is the "clean" kid who hates baby spit and other fluids and is horrified if he wets the bed.

My 9 year old had told me a week or so, when I asked him to gather their dirties, that the clothes were wet with pee and though it didn't make sense, we thought of the dog or cats. It didn't smell like animal though, but never did I think one of my kids!

I just cannot tell you how this disturbs me and how, in 12 years of parenting and parenting a child who actually has a mental disorder... I cannot tell you how this was nowhere on my parenting radar and I was nearly speechless. I mean, what do you say to this child?

Oy!! Boys kill me.
post #53 of 147
Thread Starter 
GinaRae. It sounds like you did a phenomenal job on keeping your temper in the face of extreme adversity- I'm not sure I could have done as well. At least he gave a reason why he did it, and didn't whine "I don't knowwwwww" at you, like two small gentlemen sitting fairly close to me would have done...
post #54 of 147
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, boys!!!

My ds went through a stage where he wouldn't flush the toilet. Finally one day I got mad and wanted to know why he wouldn't flush. He told me that if he didn't flush or wipe then he didn't have to wash his hands.: . Where do they come up with this stuff?

I would say that almost daily I hear myself saying things to my ds that never in my wildest nightmares did I think I would ever say.
post #55 of 147
Having a penis just makes it so easy to wee anywhere doesn't it?

I'm sorry to laugh; I do feel your pain. Why do they do this stuff? I have no idea but laziness is at least an honest response from him.

My ds once mistook the washing basket for the toilet when he got up in the night to wee and that was an unpleasant surprise when I sorted the washing next day but at least he was in the bathroom!
post #56 of 147
Thread Starter 
: Penises. : I have a 20mo dd who is showing every sign of readiness for PL except one: she refuses to wee sitting down, because her brothers do it standing up : : : I have to say, I'm fairly jealous myself.
post #57 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
: Penises. : I have a 20mo dd who is showing every sign of readiness for PL except one: she refuses to wee sitting down, because her brothers do it standing up : : : I have to say, I'm fairly jealous myself.
Oh no!
post #58 of 147
Maybe you could get her a funnel
post #59 of 147
You all will appreciate this. I slung Daniel and took Katie Grace with me yardsaling thing morning and got two bags of size 6 clothes for $6. It's going to mostly be her winter wardrobe. I also got her a beautiful Easter dress for $1. It won't fit her for a couple years, but that's OK, as it is sleeveless and Easter is in March this year. Oh, and a Hanna Anderson turtleneck that the boys will be able to wear after her for fifty cents. I got another bag of stuff for Michael for $1, but it's a mix of church and school clothes. I always feel very blessed when I find deals like this.

I found tons of baby clothes too, but I mostly didn't buy them. Daniel is still wearing clothes from Michael, since they don't really wear them out, and breastmilk doesn't stain. I did grab one of two little things though, because it's always nice to have something new (to me) for a change.

Poor Nicholas rarely ends up getting clothes. He's the second boy, so most of Michael's stuff still works for him. He did get a car and a book though.
post #60 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Maybe you could get her a funnel
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