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The BEST gun toy! Update! - Page 6

post #101 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by artgoddess View Post
Of course it's possible. I was raised that way. That's like asking if it's possible to raise a child without cacao puffs cereal, if you as a parent don't give it to them it's possible,
I meant more without playing with pretend weapons, shooters, guns, swords whether they be sticks, fingers, or chunks of plastic. I was wondering how many mothers of boys specifically managed to keep their sons from ever engaging in that kind of play without making them feel ashamed at being interested. I wouldn't be able to rely on responses from parents, anyway, since a boy may not admit to being interested if he knows his parents do not approve.

I was also theorizing the most of the people who seem to think that it is a simple matter to prevent children from playing this way were parenting 3 year olds or younger and hadn't yet gotten to the point where their children had gone off to school and were playing "violent" games like power rangers or pokemon on the playground. My ds went briefly to a Friends school, no pretend violence of any kind was permitted. Yet, when I asked ds what he did one day, he replied he made a gun out of pipes. I also saw other kids doing similar things without the very attentive teacher noticing.
post #102 of 149
Sure, my boys pretended to have weapons ~ I'm not the type of parent who would stifle them completely! lol I think it is a big difference to "pretend" than to have an actual gun (real or toy) in their hand to shoot with. They knew my feelings about guns and were pretty careful around me, but who knows how they played away from me? I think you have to stick with your beliefs and your children will learn from them. I don't mean they will agree with us, but at least they know that someone they love and trust has very strong feelings against weapons and it will make them think about it. I think that is about you can hope for if you are against guns.
post #103 of 149
I haven't read thru this whole thread yet, but has anybody mentioned the whole Chinese notion of boys having "Dragon Qui/Chi"? It is referring to the natural tendencies of males to defend their tribe and that if that is not allowed to vent itself they will become warped or stiffled in their life flow/energy.

I let my boys be who they are...and we still talk about weapons and war vs toys and warFARE. My son loves gun toys and games but is a self-proclaimed passifist and leads a life of non-violence. He even tells strangers that he will never go in the army and if he gets drafted he is moving.
post #104 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
Sure, my boys pretended to have weapons ~ I'm not the type of parent who would stifle them completely! lol I think it is a big difference to "pretend" than to have an actual gun (real or toy) in their hand to shoot with. They knew my feelings about guns and were pretty careful around me, but who knows how they played away from me? I think you have to stick with your beliefs and your children will learn from them. I don't mean they will agree with us, but at least they know that someone they love and trust has very strong feelings against weapons and it will make them think about it. I think that is about you can hope for if you are against guns.
Sounds reasonable I just draw the pretending line someplace different (includes chunks of plastic for me). I just don't understand the more rigid no gunplay or weapons of any sort ever stance. Not that I don't understand the desire to have that stance but I don't understand how one could enforce rigid rules of play on kids if they were not amenable to them. And I don't understand why some people think it is ok for kids to shoot toy cannons but not guns, just because they aren't likely to come across a real cannon, IF the concern is that violent play encourages violent behavior.

Also, my ds seems to use the word gun to mean anything that projects something. Someone was nauseated at the thought of using a penis as a gun but all that means is the penis shoots pee, just like a water gun shoots water and a chaulk gun shoots chaulk and a nail gun shoots nails.

And since my 5 weapon loving brothers matured into such sweet sensitive men who don't even hunt (one even gets upset at cutting down trees for christmas), I don't see how people can think letting children play pretend correlates into raising "fodder for the military and prison inmates" or whatever the exact wording was.
post #105 of 149
I'll bite since that was my quote you're referring to.

I don't want my kids playing with anything that resembles a handgun. Why? Handguns are meant to kill people. They're not for hunting, they are weapons built with the express purpose of killing human beings. There is a lot of money invested in weaponry in the world. Huge percentages of our tax dollars support the manufacturing and trade of weapons built to kill human beings. This is something that I take incredibly seriously.

I also agree with Dallaschildren and some of the others that I absolutely don't want my kids thinking that guns are toys. They're not. They're weapons. If my children want to learn to shoot a gun with my father or go hunting with him when they are old enough, I will not prevent that from happening. We eat meat and I think it's completely ethical to hunt if you eat what you shoot. I will prevent them from playing with articles that resemble weapons meant to kill human beings. I want them to understand that guns are used for killing and that they're not toys.

I really don't care if you don't agree with me. I own my house and can make the rules about what kind of toys I allow in it. If my kids want to make guns out of their waffles, they can. I certainly won't encourage it by allowing realistic looking toy handguns in the house.
post #106 of 149
ITA sss.
post #107 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post
I don't see how people can think letting children play pretend correlates into raising "fodder for the military and prison inmates" or whatever the exact wording was.
Wasn't that a great way of putting that thought? Her way with words astounded me in that post. Love it!

Quote:
My son knows a toy gun cannot hurt people and real sticks can hurt people. He also knows that real guns can hurt and kill people. I'm much more concerned about my child really hurting someone than pretending to.
I don't mean to pick on you, but...you mentioned the word intelligent, so I thought you may want to know that ppl can hurl toy guns at people and hurt them with them. They can whip a toy gun around and hit someone in the eye.

My next bumper sticker will read: "Toy guns don't hurt people. People with sticks hurt people. And, that's why I love it when people burn wood while pretending to shoot each other."
post #108 of 149
reminds me of a story. as a young girl I begged my babysitter to allow me to walk the baby she was watching around the block in a stroller. She finally agreed, allowing me to go the end of the street and back. I did so, and two houses before I got to my own home, a neighbor girl stopped me. She had a toy machine gun, and had drawn a line of chalk on the sidewalk. She said that if I crossed the line she would shoot me. Of course I needed to get back, the sitter would be upset if I was gone long, and of course she couldn't really shoot me, so I crossed it. She proceeded to swing the machine gun at my head, hitting me square in the forehead and opening a large gash, blood spurted out everywhere. I ran home, and ended up getting stitches. The neighbor girl was grounded for months. Perhaps its one reason I hate guns, I don't know. I think it's very easy to monitor our children's play, I mean I watch my son to make sure he doesn't hurt other children, and we talk about my reasons for no gun play all the time. He even tells others he doesn't play with guns, and one time he even asked a friend to put her kids swords away when we played at their house.
post #109 of 149
nope. No toy guns ( or real for that matter) in my house and DEFINITELY not guns that resemble a handgun.

There are so many other ways and choices for my kids to play that I don't see the need to introduce or allow gunplay. I don't feel that my kids are being affected negatively by not being allowed gunplay and they definitely are not missing out on anything by not being allowed gunplay either. They are just fine thankyouverymuch.
post #110 of 149
******
post #111 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by princesstutu View Post
I don't mean to pick on you, but...you mentioned the word intelligent, so I thought you may want to know that ppl can hurl toy guns at people and hurt them with them. They can whip a toy gun around and hit someone in the eye.
Of course they can. They can do that with a shoe. The point was that playing pretend with guns generally involves more body space than playing swords with sticks so there is less chance of real accidents.
post #112 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by swimswamswum View Post
If my kids want to make guns out of their waffles, they can. I certainly won't encourage it by allowing realistic looking toy handguns in the house.
See, that was what I was wondering oh so many posts ago. I understand some people don't want toy guns. I was just wondering where they drew the line. Yours is at waffle guns .
post #113 of 149
So if you don't allow your child/ren to play toy guns (or pretend guns) AT ALL, what do you do when they pretend that something else (like their finger) is a gun? When they are pointing it at things and making shooting noises, how do you stop them?

That was what my son would do all the time, no matter how much we tried to discourage it. And we don;t even own a squirt gun (or watch violent movies etc)!! We just couldn't figure out a way to get him to stop playing that way. Once we started allowing small amounts of play (pretending his finger is a gun and shooting imaginary monsters) he really lost most of his interest in gun play. But he still likes to pretend like that occasionally.

So for the parents who never allow their kids to play these types of games, how do you discourage it when the child is really curious about that type of play? I am really curious because I would love to hear some gentle suggestions.
post #114 of 149
Well, this is what I did:

We talked about death. We talked about murder. We talked about how we'd like to treat people in this world. We talked about how being shot really, really hurts. We talked about the kind of people we are and the kind of people we'd like to be. We talked about war.

Even a 4yo can understand that getting shot really hurts. 4yos don't want to get hurt anymore than anyone else on the planet.

We have the same conversation for guns as we have for any other type of unnecessary hurting. We discuss responsibility...mine, theirs, the world's.

I'm no pacifist, but I certainly draw the line at pretending items intended as weaponry are toys. I teach my kids that while violence may be an inherent part of life, there are responsibilities that come with being a human on this planet. They get to decide the sort of humans they'll become and I get to help them get used to making decisions that promote personal growth.

And, that doesn't mean my kids don't like to pretend gunplay at times. It simply means that I don't gloss over it like it's some inherent part of childhood. If my son likes guns and shooting, that's his choice. I consider it my responsibility to impart some balance to that.
post #115 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by meganeilis View Post
Guns are tools, in and of themselves there is nothing about them that glorifies violence. Condemning war games is one thing, but looking down your nose at target shooting is just silly.
Please, please help me understand this statement. Guns are tools, yes. But they're tools used for killing, or threatening death at the very least. I need to understand what other use guns have in order to be able to accept this statement.

My DS is only 3 months old now. I'm really hoping to turn him into natureboy and praying he doesn't really have an interest in guns. But when the subject comes up, I'd like to try to be openminded about it.
post #116 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyxi View Post
Please, please help me understand this statement. Guns are tools, yes. But they're tools used for killing, or threatening death at the very least. I need to understand what other use guns have in order to be able to accept this statement.
My husband's gun killed the elk that's in our freezer. It was no less a tool then the knife I use to prepare dinner.

Feeding our family is not a form of violence to us. I would rather shoot an elk that got to live free until the second it died, then support feedlots that sometimes cause suffering for DAYS before the animal dies.

ETA: I also have rancher friends in West Texas who carries pistols for the express purpose of shooting rattle snakes from horse back. It's much easier for them to carry and handle a handgun from horse back then it is to sling a shot gun. And when they're running big herds it's important for the whole herd not to get diverted because one cow got spooked by a snake, so the person heading the heard usually shoots it. Those cows are their livelihood, so they can't afford to loose a calf in the bush because the herd scattered or something. They view their pistols as tools.
post #117 of 149
Interesting thread.
I have never (nor have any family or friends) purchased my son a toy gun as it’s just not something I’ve thought of to buy when purchasing him toys. It’s never really been discussed. When I think about it, I’m not really sure if I’m even opposed to toy guns (the OP posted a toy that I think isn’t so bad) as again it’s just not something I’ve thought about at all (weird I know after reading this thread). Hmmm I did make a conscious decision to avoid purchasing any water guns for my son recently though and just bought a whole bunch spray bottles instead for him and his friends to play with as I didn’t know for sure how the other parents in the neighborhood felt about them so I guess they are on my radar after all.
I also was never raised around guns…they are just not something I’m familiar with and I can actually say in my circle it’s just not something any of us own. Also, I can honestly say I don’t know anyone that actually owns a gun even for hunting.
post #118 of 149
north of 60, i'm glad you choose to kill your own food instead of supporting factory farming. since that is the way you're raising your children, it makes sense to teach them that guns are acceptable tools for adult use. since my son is vegan and we don't support killing of any kind (not even mosquitoes), almost zero exposure (thus far; he's only 4) just makes more sense for us, y'know?

hmmm... others have asked about how to "shoot down" the interest (sorry, i had to) when it arises. i just treat it like anything else. i say "baby, no blasting" or "sweetheart, we don't kill people" in the same tone of voice i use for "cas, sharpies are for paper only". we've certainly had deeper conversations about it, but i try to keep it towards how *i* feel about guns, war, meat, et cetera without using too much "you can't do xyz" language. the gentle reminders are issued along with the rest of what we try to (as subtly as possible) teach him daily, as the need presents itself. i don't think he feels ashamed, because i do my best to not preach, so hopefully he'll have less reason to want to rebel in the future.

mostly, like i said, talking about my own truest feelings about a subject impacts him the most. anyway, i think it does because that's certainly when *i* feel most connected with him. lately, especially because his empathy and logic are both much more developed than even a yr ago, i've been reaching out like this more and more. if my parents had really bothered to show me how passionate they were about the reason behind a rule, instead of just yelling and being punitive, it would have made so much more sense. it's been hard to get to a place like this; like i said, his aging has helped enormously. arenas like this are so helpful, though, because we can sort out those deep feelings here, and get affected by other POVs too, as a sort of practice for when we share those feelings with the kids.

peace and goodwill to you all. whether your beliefs are similar to mine or not, practice them strongly and with all your heart. that is the best example your kids can see.
post #119 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by caspian's mama View Post
peace and goodwill to you all. whether your beliefs are similar to mine or not, practice them strongly and with all your heart. that is the best example your kids can see.
Thank you!
post #120 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by caspian's mama View Post
north of 60, i'm glad you choose to kill your own food instead of supporting factory farming. since that is the way you're raising your children, it makes sense to teach them that guns are acceptable tools for adult use. since my son is vegan and we don't support killing of any kind (not even mosquitoes), almost zero exposure (thus far; he's only 4) just makes more sense for us, y'know?
Does this mean that you will not discuss with him that guns can be tools to other people?
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