Temporary single mom....

[Foobar]

Tuesday, next week, DH is going on a trip...to Australia. Sigh...We decided that Goo and I would not go. So... for 3 weeks, I'll be a single mom. I have a friend and her kids coming for a few days and then my IL, but I still am bathing and feeding and cuddling Goo for those 3 weeks.
I am scared that Goo will lose it since she is such a Daddy's girl. We are planning to video tape some stories so she can see him every night.

Anyone else have to be a temporary single mom? How do you swing it with work and such???
THanks

hmmm, maybe I am just fishing for pity here!

[Elphaba]

i'll give you sympathy! my hubby was gone for 3 months and will soon be gone for 4 more. it sucks.
i don't work outside the home, but it was still hard. not having anyone there for back-up when you need it is so stressful.
hope some WOHMs have practical advice for you!

[jeca]

My husband has been gone off and on since we've been married, price of the military I suppose. He's in Iraq at this moment and has been since April 4. Yes thing sdo seem unmanagable at times but I'm sure you can get by for a few weeks it's almost inbred in us as mothers IMO. Did Your DH do most of the baby care?

You have my pity if taht's what your looking for since I completly understand. Just remeber it's DOABLE, and he'll be back before you know it. Let the time fly with kisses and hugs.

[singermom]

Been there, doing that...

Foobar...I think you'll do fine. Yeah, it's a lot of work, and can make for some long days with work and then constant child contact all evening long, but you'll get into a different kind of rhythm--my dh often goes away to conferences, and I use those times to relax some of our usual practices.

I know it will be expensive, but if you can swing it, try to have your dh call and talk to your daughter for at least a minute or two--she'll like hearing his voice, and it will do wonders for him! Nowadays, my dh calls and doesn't even want to talk to me, he only wants to talk to dd#1! :

You're definitely right to ask for help, as much as possible. I always try to set up some kind of "event" for my kids every other night when dh is out of town--either a visit to grandma and grandpas, or an evening playground trip, etc. It keeps my older daughter less bored, and that way she and I don't butt heads as much.

My favorite single parenting story was earlier this year, when dh had to present at a conference when dd#2 was three weeks old...this also happened to be the week our church was having a retreat, so most of my security network was away at that. THAT was the weekend dd#1 decided to start potty-training! I decided it had to be Murphy's Law!

Good luck, it will all work out, and just think how glad you'll be to see dh when he comes back!

Fondly,

Mia

[Foobar]

Thanks!

Actually, DH does all of the night work like helping her get ready for bed, bathtime and playing at night. She often cries for dad when I put her to bed. When he puts her to bed, I get my one break in the day.

He's a better care giver than I am! I work part-time, but she clicks with him so much better!

Anyway, now I feel guilty because I don't know how you people who have your partners leave for MONTHS! WOW!
I am proud of you mamma!

[Elphaba]

don't feel guilty! being alone is being alone, whether it's 3 days or 3 months, it's still hard knowing you have to provide EVERYTHING.
i know what you mean about the one break a day. when sean gets home, i make dinner while he gets toddler duty, and then i try to shut myself in a room and read ALONE!!!!

[captain optimism]

This will sound a little weird, but do you know about social stories? My friend has two children, a boy on the autism spectrum and a girl, who isn't. For the boy, they learned they should write story books to warn him weeks in advance of any change.

So for example, when mom went on a trip, there was a story book about what was going to happen, with information about where she was going (he can still tell you that Warsaw is the capital of Poland!) and who would be taking care of him, when she would be back, etc. Even photos of mom and other family members looking out of the windows of a plane she drew!

Anyway, their family found that even with their child who wasn't disabled, the social story was very calming. So they use them all the time.

Edited to add: I don't believe that your dh is a better caregiver than you are.

[singermom]

Foobar:

I agree with the Captain, too--I'm sure you are just as good a caregiver as your dh...but you realize that you work well as a team, and you are hesitant to give that up for the period that he will be away.

I also agree that it is probably a good idea to prepare Goo in advance--that can be as much in advance as you think she needs--a week, a day, whatever. Try to keep your tone upbeat but sympathetic...kids sense if you are stressed about an impending separation and then can take it harder themselves.

Mia

[Piglet68]

Hey, Foo! That's going to be rough, but I know you can do it! And when he comes back, he'll owe you big time, lol!!

[Patchy Dragon]

Coming from a single working mom... my advice~

Take one day at a time,
Don't over plan your week or plan on quite family time
Count to 10, take a deep breath, and jump in with both feet!

I am sure you will be fine!

[Foobar]

Thanks all!

We actually tried to prepare Goo, but I don't think she gets it. DH set up a short 1-2 minute video for her to see everynight. I have the camera hooked up to the TV, so she sees Daddy on the TV. Last night we played it twice and she tried to lick his face on the TV.

So far, Daycare has her and last night wasn't bad.

Yeah, I think Dh and I work so well as a team that it's hard to imagine going it alone. We have a "tag" plan that if she ever gets to much for one of us to handle, we tag and the other takes care of her while the one gets their head together. I hope I don't need tag time now. I haven't needed it in a few weeks, so maybe the streak will continue

Counting to 10!