I don't watch tv either, so I read the transcript of Jack's interview, fyi.
The Osbournes (tm?) is a tough family to use as an example, of course, as their commercialized selves have turned them into caricatures rather than flesh and blood persons. That aside, Jack seems like a sensitive soul and maybe that was not noticed by his family in the midst of massive upheavals (infamy, cancer, addictions).
When I read through Jack's explanation for why
he believes he was addicted to alcohol, drugs, I see nothing that indicates he longed for boundaries. I am aware that when the Osbournes launched their first season, millions of teenagers watched and turned to their strict parents with, 'See? It works out!' and millions of parents rolled their eyes. The usual 'tsk, tsk, letting the kids run wild like that' from parents who pride themselves on setting 'boundaries'.
But Jack describes his life as pretty much fine before the show aired (first season). Said he planned on working his way up in the music business, 'just like (his) mom' and was happy with that. (Probably no surprise that he modeled his career after his mom, as she seems to walk and talk her animus in full consciousness!) He said it was physically jolting when the show took off and he
lost what he had planned to do (in the music business). Further, people were shouting they hated him, wanted him voted out of the house and said he was the least liked Osbourne. His mom had multiple admittances to the ER from passing out due to pain. His dad was null and void due to relapse and his closest sibling was rocketing to stardom.
IMO, ain't no boundary or limit going to touch that boy's pain in that situation. No strict discipline approach can come close to getting inside the mind of a teenage boy who has lost his dream and is losing touch with his family. He had to find a way to call back his spirit.
When Jack's parents 'laid down the law' and threw a bag at him and declared he was rehab-bound, he ran away and downed substances, got a hotel room, says he doesn't remember much.
Like all of us who have been in addiction, some part in us, however small, has to want change. I don't care how intervention-esque and militant the approach toward an addict, if the addict isn't ready, then any solution is going to be temporary and for the wrong reasons, by definition.
Jack decided to go to rehab and things turned around for his life (hopefully for always, too).
I think it's easy and safe for parents who are more classically 'strict' and 'set the rules', to look at the Osbournes and say, 'Yep, that's what happens when kids aren't given boundaries. Kids need to know who is boss.' I think it's also easy and safe for Ozzy and Sharon to say they should have set boundaries. It is much more frightening, imo, to admit that even with boundaries, their child might have been addicted to substances. Even with church attendance, school admission, curfews and room checks, their son still might have been suicidal. Of course, there is also nothing Ozzy and Sharon can implement at this time as the limits were never there and it appears to be too late (they are also going into a third season of their show, despite Sharon and other family members saying it's been very hard on their family). So it's safe for them to have this regret in parenting and not change very much. I don't wish regret on any parent,
no way. But it is a safe route to blame the opposite in this case and know that Pandora's box was opened so long ago, nothing need change.
Thanks, granolamom for reminding me that addiction is not chosen.
I still maintain there are no guarantees and while I feel accountable to mother in the best way I can, I try not to feel too confident about the outcome. I can cling to pages of Sears books and quote the five B's and Continuum-Concept and be the Mistress of AP and still, my child may struggle tremendously with self-worth and loss of identity (like I feel Jack did/does). These things are in the ethers, I feel. Like when I hear a lot of folks say, 'Michael Jordan breastfed until he was three!' as if that is some kind of boost to one's choice to extended breastfeed. I don't often hear, 'Did you know that John Walker-Lindh breastfed until he was four?' (true) There are no guarantees or proof, I don't believe, in a lot of parenting practices. Like I said, I am incapable of mothering in a way I feel is less than what I'm doing but I don't believe I can keep my child from addiction even with boundaries.
Hope some of this rambling made sense.
