Advice on childcare for SAHM doulas?

[Katielady]

hi all!

I'm a novice doula and I'm also the primary caregiver for my
14-month-old son. I had planned for my mother-in-law, who lives about
45 minutes away, to come watch him while I have appointments and
possibly for pasrt of the time I'm away at labors, but she just told
me she no longer wants to travel to our place to babysit, as she finds
it too difficult. So my already iffy childcare plans just became
nonexistent.

So I'd love to hear from those of you who are SAHMs and also take
doula clients. I am only planning to take a client every few months,
but obviously I still need some childcare. Are there babysitters who
you can call on a moment's notice? How do you find trustworthy people
who are available? Is there such a thing as a daycare center that
allows occasional drop-offs?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Thanks,
Katie

[jerawo]

You need to hook up with other doulas with children, so you can keep each other's children when you have appointments and/or births. A lot of doulas do this for childcare, especially if DP's job isn't flexable and there isn't family around.

[Maggi315]

This is something I constantly struggle with as well. But if you don't have a reliable system of childcare, it is impossible and irresponsible to take on clients. I had to wait until I had at least one child old enough to take the responsibility if I had to leave in a moments notice. My husband also is flexible enough that he can rearrange schedule if absolutely necessary (he doesn't like to, though, because he is paid on commission and sales).

Here are some ideas I have used or plan to use:
-local craigslist and here on mothering: I posted for another mom who could share call (so I have a group to choose from)
-start or join a babysitting co-op where you trade sitting, you'll also have a group to choose from
-advertise with local homeschooling groups
-advertise with local high schoolers, college, and even middle schoolers who could bridge the gap until your husband got home from work.
-local mops groups, post in your church (or friends if you don't have a church).

As a doula, I also had a policy not to go to people's houses when they were in labor, but to meet them at the hospital. I find that people don't need doula support in early labor, they need to rest, relax, and be with their significant other. By the time they got to the hospital, things were usually further along, drastically cutting down on the time I was away.

And if they were going in to be induced, I would meet them, then leave and tell them to call me when contractions got going (I learned to do this after spending 3 days with a mom being induced!). If mom has pain meds or is sleeping, I might have my husband bring baby to me to nurse or if close enough, go home for an hour or two.

Good luck! Childcare is the most stressful part of my job. And I work with a population not too keen on bringing my children to appointments most of the time, so I need to have a whole list of help. And I have found teens and college students to be wonderful sitters, but highly unreliable and around here expensive! I just posted on the tribal area looking for a mama who needs some part time income and can bring her child/ren, I would much rather my money go there.

[azjen43]

I've been pretty fortunate in this area. My DH can often work from home, and if not, I have a SAHM friend who is available to me theoretically, any time. (Although I haven't had to use her much)

I agree that a babysitting coop with other doulas is a great. Or even if you can hook up with one other doula in your area and trade childcare .

[Twinklefae]

Originally Posted by Maggi315

As a doula, I also had a policy not to go to people's houses when they were in labor, but to meet them at the hospital. I find that people don't need doula support in early labor, they need to rest, relax, and be with their significant other. By the time they got to the hospital, things were usually further along, drastically cutting down on the time I was away.

Just an FYI from a doula client I would not hire a doula with this policy. It's not about needing support at this point, it's about needing reasurance that everything is going all right, and keeping me confident enough to stay home until the last second, and avoid all unnecessary interventions.

This is not saying it's wrong, or that it doesn't work for your clients or that it's necessary for all women. Just that I wouldn't hire a doula who would only be at the hospital, because I'm not planning on being at the hospital for very long. So why would I bother to hire one at all, if it's only going to be for an hour or two?

[DoomaYula]

OP, I LOVE your sig!

RE: childcare, my bff is a sahm and I pay her to watch my kids when I'm at a birth. Mutually beneficial for both of us. I have reliable childcare, she gets paid. My dh can come home if it's really necessary but that's only happened a couple times.

It's really imperative to have reliable childcare. Otherwise, I agree with another pp, it's irresponsible to take clients.

If my doula would only meet me at the hospital, I wouldn't hire her. Our job is to provide support -- I tell my clients to call me WHENEVER they need me. If that's 24h before labor actually gets going, so be it.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by YumaDoula

OP, I LOVE your sig!

Thanks!

And thanks, all, for the great suggestions. I agree that it's wrong to take clients if you don't have childcare in place. I have one client right now, my first, and while I don't have the best system yet I do have a failsafe backup- my husband will take a personal day or two if needed. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken a client. But now that I'm realizing how complex the childcare thing can be, I'm going to work on that more before I take anyone else.

I had our prenatal visit today and it went great- what a thrill to do my first real work as a doula. And for childcare, a bunch of my friends were getting together for a playgroup anyway so I was able to bring him there. He had a great time and it wasn't taxing for them. Another mom brought up the idea of us having a babysitting coop, where you pay each other in beads for hours of babysitting time- if you want more hours, you have to sit more for others. Sounds great to me. I'm reserving my excitement about it for now, because in my experience these things tend to fizzle out. Every book club I've ever joined has had like 2 or 3 meetings. But it would be great if it worked out. Meanwhile I feel I need to start interviewing some paid babysitters.

I think I had this idea that I could do this on the side, in addition to being a full-time caregiver. I think I need to start thinking of it more as a part-time job, no different than if I were going to an office a few days a week. It's a lot more flexible than that, but still, I need time to meet with people and to develop my web site and materials, and I can't do that and care for DS at the same time. I mean it sounds like "duh," but really, I was in denial about it until now.

Anyway, gotta go start dinner, but thanks again everyone!

edit: no offense at all to the doula who posted this suggesion, but as others have said, I wouldn't hire a doula who only came to the hospital, nor would I take up that practice. To me, the whole point is continuous support. But hey, if your clients are cool with that from the start and you have a whole different thing going on, that's fine. I don't think it's standard doula practice, though.

[tlcdoula]

I hope you are able to figure it all out. I know when I first started it was hard because I relied on my mother and husband. There were days my mother didn't want to come which caused stress between us. Of course there were many days she was great too, but even once in a great while of it being a burden to her was more than I wanted to have.

I will admit things have gotten so much easier now that my kids are much older, and I can simply leave in the middle of the night letting my oldest dd know I am going (she is 19 1/2 yrs old), but now she is moving out. Now I need to start all over and work out the kinks with my son who will be 18 yrs old in January LOL.

I would suggest finding a homeschooling teen who could come over at a moments notice. I know someone who did this and it worked out great for her. She had reliable care and the teen loved getting paid for it.