fears?

[artgirl]

Anyone want to just get their fears out there so you aren't holding them inside anymore?
I'm going to list mine. If you are trying to keep in a positive state of mind (like I am) you might not want to read them all but just use this thread to purge your own.

• I'm afraid something will be wrong with the baby. I'm 36 years old and fear that my eggs just aren't what they used to be
  
• I'm afraid this baby will be huge and I'll have a rough delivery
  
• I'm afraid that I've been so lucky in the past with labor and delivery that something will go wrong this time.
  
• I'm afraid that my vagina, bladder, bowel, etc. will be destroyed after giving birth three times vaginally and that I'll need some type of follow-up surgery.
  
• I'm afraid that my breasts will be even smaller and more deflated than ever after breast-feeding a third baby.
  
• I nervous about being a good mother to three kids.
  
• I afraid that breastfeeding will be hard this time.
  
• I'm afraid the new baby will keep the whole family awake at night.
  
• I'm afraid that my previous evergy won't return and I'll live out the rest of my life as this pathetic bump on the couch.
  
• I'm afraid of coming back to work again after having the baby. I hate returning to work after having a baby.

Okay, I think I'm done for now.
I see how silly and superficial some of these things are and I guess that's why I never talk about them IRL. It's kindof nice to get them out and move on.

Mostly, I'm just very excited to meet my little guy. The one that's been trying to punch out of my belly button for weeks now.

[momuveight2B]

[QUOTE=artgirl;8825376]

• I'm afraid something will be wrong with the baby. I'm 36 years old and fear that my eggs just aren't what they used to be
  
• I'm afraid this baby will be huge and I'll have a rough delivery
  
• I'm afraid that I've been so lucky in the past with labor and delivery that something will go wrong this time.
  
• I'm afraid that my vagina, bladder, bowel, etc. will be destroyed after giving birth three times vaginally and that I'll need some type of follow-up surgery.
  
• I'm afraid that my breasts will be even smaller and more deflated than ever after breast-feeding a third baby.
  
• I nervous about being a good mother to three kids.
  
• I afraid that breastfeeding will be hard this time.
  
• I'm afraid the new baby will keep the whole family awake at night.
  
• I'm afraid that my previous evergy won't return and I'll live out the rest of my life as this pathetic bump on the couch.
  
• I'm afraid of coming back to work again after having the baby. I hate returning to work after having a baby.

Let me see, my list is the same except insert age 43, mother to eight kids.

I could care less about my breasts, haven't seen them since I was a teenager anyways so who knows what they will look like. I will say after seven pregnancies and nursing they are beautiful and I am quite proud of them!

Since I nurse and co-sleep babies never wake up anyone. I used to worry about it though.

I am a SAHM so work for me is right here the minute I get home from the hospital. Dh will take three weeks off beginning August 21st but the baby may not come by then. Once he goes back to work it will be really tough for a few weeks.

Oh and will I ever get even close to a normal weight again?

[quetinha]

I am worried about how life will flow with new baby and my son who is still somewhat of a challenge at 7. He's a good boy but institutions (daycares before care/after care) don't see it that way. His behavior can be good for long periods, but a bad day ends his welcome. So I don't have any idea how we will manage (timewise) when I have to go back to work. I just have to believe it will work out. somehow.

I am worried that I won't be able to be a good (enough) mom. That love alone isn't enough.

I am 36 too, but that doesn't worry me....

[lyttlewon]

As far as L&D goes:
* I am afraid of people annoying me during labor and having to kick them out.
* I am afraid of having to transfer for some reason and my OB who lectured me on what a bad idea HB is will be on call. The same OB that wanted to give me an episiotomy and strip my membranes without my consent. Not sure how she will respond in a "true" emergency.
* I am afraid of bleeding a lot.

Baby:
* I am afraid of the baby having a health problem (possible kidney issue found in U/S)

DD:
* I am afraid of her not liking her new sibling and not dealing well with the changes.

[Alohamelly]

I'm afraid I'll end up with a c-section.
I'm afraid I won't get those stupid antibiotics I need for GBS and we'll have to stay in the hospital for 2 days (rather than 1 if I get them on time).
I'm afraid the hospital staff will be hard to deal with and won't respect my wishes.
I'm afraid something might go wrong with the baby.
I'm afriad I might bleed profusely and end up needing another blood transfusion.
I'm afraid of what'll happen to my hemmoroids while pushing.

[danotoyou2]

I'm afraid to transfer to a hospital
I'm afraid there will be something wrong with the baby
I'm afraid that my pelvis is too small
I'm afraid that my family will cause a scene
I'm afraid that my DH will not be enough of a support
I'm MOST afraid of a repeat cesarean... because the first was the most terrifying event of my life, and I don't want to repeat it.

[kristen1978]

artgirl, thank you for starting this thread!!

I'm afraid that I won't be able to "get out of my own way," and let go of control -- and surrender to the process (FYI: I am quite the control-freak!)

I'm afraid that even though I intellectually believe in birth as a natural process, that in the end I won't be brave enough or tough enough to actually do it at home.

I'm afraid that if I transfer to a hospital for some reason I will be ashamed, especially because I have been a VERY vocal homebirth supporter over the last few years in our community.

I'm afraid that my partner, who is AMAZING and plans to participate in this birth to the fullest, will feel sensitive about anything he perceives to be a failure on his part (not bein able to comfort me enough, etc) -- in short, won't fully understand that no one can do this FOR me.

I'm afraid that the OBs and my mother (who insists that I amost didn't come out because I was so huge at a whopping 9 lbs) are correct -- that big babies get stuck, and that this baby, who may be what the world classifies as big, might get "stuck," too.


*sigh* . . . . I think that helped . . . . . .

[mom22girls]

I'm afraid of the c/section - the whole process

I'm afraid of the spinal
I'm afraid of a spinal headache
I'm afraid of having a spinal headache and having to have another spinal to patch it.

I am afraid I will die on the table (I'm pretty morbid)....

I'm afraid to end up with some weird bladder/bowel/other part of me injury due to weird stitching of uterus last time

I don't want to leave my kids 1) at all 2) for the amount of time it will take for recovery, or (here's the morbid side of me) 3) forever

I'm afraid something will happen to the baby due to weird position of uterus

I'm afraid my husband will be overwhelmed with how much work it is to take care of our kids, and afraid he doesn't realize how much help I won't/can't be.

I'm afraid that my first few weeks home will be a domestic nightmare rather than the babymoon I deserve! (No, really, we all deserve it)

I'm glad you started this thread - my dh doesn't take any of my fears or concerns seriously - thinks I'm being paranoid and over-reacting.....

[Lady Lilya]

I am afraid my high blood pressure will risk me out of a homebirth.
I am afraid the hospital will force me into a c-section as a result.
If I can fight to go the drug route instead, I am afraid of the effect on the baby.

I was not afraid until my BP rose about 10 days ago. I had no fear of labor or birth. I had no fear of anything going wrong. Now I am more afraid than I have ever been about anything.

[QueenOfThePride]

I'm afraid I won't be a good enough parent to two children.
Will I have enough energy and love for both of them?
Will older DS resent the baby or try to hurt him?
I'm afraid DH doesn't realize how much he will have to help around the house and with older DS after the baby is born.
During labor, I'm afraid of not being able to demand whatever I decide I want or need, and end up getting bullied into something I don't want. But that is unlikely, as my CNM is pretty cool, and I hired a very experienced doula.

Oh yeah, alohamelly reminded me about the hemorrhoids. : I have them on my labia. I will be sure to demand good support over them if I can't reach myself while pushing.

[ladyleigh]

I'm afraid of being overwhelmed by the pain and having a negative experience of birth. I don't doubt my ability to get through it, but I'm afraid it will feel like an assault. (I got this idea from a friend who had a difficult hb).

I'm afraid I won't be able to breastfeed for some reason. I haven't had any leaking at all. What if they just don't work?

I'm afraid of my mom really annoying me post partum and interrupting my laying in period.

I'm afraid he's never going to come out.

I'm afraid of not connecting with the baby and feeling guilty about it.

I'm afraid of feeling really, really, really, really vulnerable afterward (a tendency of mine.)

[PPK]

I like this thread! I'm going to use the word concern though, it helps my mind feel more at ease!

I'm concerned that my midwife will break my waters, or who knows what else? (she did strip my membranes w/o my knowledge)

I'm concerned about using the oral vit K we just got.

I'm concerned I won't start labor on my own (I'm overdue)

I'm concerned about being a mom and hope I'm good at it

I'm concerned about getting onto a regular schedule again of working out and getting my figure back (also for my sanity's sake!) I'm getting stir crazy being in all day.

I'm concerned baby's getting huger by the day, I'm starting to think he's gonna be big!

I'm concerned about my relationship with dh afterwards, hope its as good as it is now, and continues to get even better!

Oh, and ladyleigh, all of yours, the mom part especially! She's already calling everyday asking if the baby's still moving (I'm 3 days past due)..not helpin' my worries ma, not helpin'...