Muslim Mamas tribe

[UmmIbrahim]

NE one interested in starting a proper Muslim mamas tribe thread?

[UmmNadia]

assalamu alaikum,
totally sis

[avent]

Checking in, new here.

I'm out of town w/ sporadic internet access but I hope more people have responded by the time I get back!

[Mama Aminah]

Asalamu Alaikum -

I was on here looking for a Muslim Mama's thread. Alhamdulilah, I found one and Mash-Allah, it is just getting started. I am right on time.

So, is everyone preparing for Ramadan? Only one month away Insha-Allah, we will all be prepared both physically and most important spirtually. Does anyone have any fastings to make up before Ramadan arrives? Not much time to get that done huh?

Hope to get into some good discussions here for the sake of Allah, Insha-Allah.

[Mama Aminah]

Bumping to try to find anyone out there!

[mommytomahmoud]

salam alaikum my dear sisters

i cant belive ramandan is near wow soo excting but i have days i need to make up and i need to get on that right away but iam soooo excited this is the month that just gives me the extra boost of religion that i need heheh
inshallah tomorrow i will fast now that iam thinking about it hehehe

[mommytomahmoud]

salam ladies

well today i fasted to start making up the days i missed last yr and it was great i feel soo good and i will be fasting all week exciting that ramadan is rnext week

[Ammaarah]

Assalaamu alaykum girlies!

I am sooooo excited for Ramadan inshaAllah. But also nervous. The days are getting longer and I still have lots of fasts to make up from the year my baby was born. I fasted last year and it was OK but I just didn't have it in me to do all my make-up fasts while still nursing a big toddler who loves her milk!

InshaAllah everyone has a blessed Ramadan. Let's get this thread alive and kicking, shall we? I'll start with a simple question: What's your favorite (or most often cooked) dish to make in Ramadan?

I have really learned the art of Bengali cooking this past couple years so I have to say my DH's fave dish we eat in Ramadan is biryani! But my fave is haleem. For those who are into traditional foods, I think haleem is right up there! Bone broth, soaked grains and all!

[lena1984]

WA:

hello and welcome mamas! i can't believe Ramadan is so near to us..subhanallah i'm so excited and can't wait..but i have ALOT of get done

[mamefati28]

Salam Sisters-
I am all for a thread. I am probably the baby here, with much to learn having converted in 2004. Can't wait to connect.

[peaceful_mama]

salaam alaikum

I had a thread going about fasting and nursing in Ramadan. I have come to the conclusion that I'm going to not fast but not be obvious about it. (I.E. dh will be fasting but is gone enough that I just won't eat/drink around him at fasting times, things like that) I know there have been people in the past who have been like "Oh I'm not fasting I'm nursing" and gone ahead and ate/drank with fasters visiting in the day........I figure it's not SOOOO essential that I can't go say an hour, but I don't think my child is old enough for me to take the chance on supply by doing days and days on end. And I have another child so I can't stay up and snack through the night though I do like that suggestion and I did it one year kind of on accident.

I see no reason to flaunt what I believe to be my exemption in the face of anybody who's fasting. that just seems well, rude.

Now.........I saw an interesting point in one post........if you're not fasting but you are pregnant or nursing, aren't you feeding another person? My thing about fasting in pregnancy (I was pregnant last year) is I feel that nobody requires my baby to fast and she was dependent on me for her food supply.

Yes, unless it counts that I'm already feeding another person, I guess someday I owe fasts into eternity........but the idea of the fetus/infant as my person I'm feeding intrigues me and makes sense to me.

Thoughts?

[Ammaarah]

Originally Posted by zakers_mama

Now.........I saw an interesting point in one post........if you're not fasting but you are pregnant or nursing, aren't you feeding another person? My thing about fasting in pregnancy (I was pregnant last year) is I feel that nobody requires my baby to fast and she was dependent on me for her food supply.

Yes, unless it counts that I'm already feeding another person, I guess someday I owe fasts into eternity........but the idea of the fetus/infant as my person I'm feeding intrigues me and makes sense to me.

Thoughts?

It honestly doesn't make sense to me. If you pay expiation, aren't you supposed to feed a needy person? I would think your child doesn't count as a needy person unless your family is destitute.

As for expiation, I have not seen much saying nursing/pregnant women can pay expiation. Most stuff I've read says you have to fast. If there's a diff of opinions of course I respect it but I haven't seen anything that explains it.

If you do sunnah fasting Mondays and Thursdays, you can make up about three missed Ramadans each year. IMO that's not that much hardship for healthy people.

This sounds harsh and it's not supposed to! Here are some smilies to clarify that: :

[Nabbe]

Salaam aleikum

I am here... Muslimah from Norway, with 3 kids.

[Nabbe]

Originally Posted by Ammaarah

If you do sunnah fasting Mondays and Thursdays, you can make up about three missed Ramadans each year. IMO that's not that much hardship for healthy people.

Salaam aleikum

If you do the sunnah fast, would you not have to have intention to do it as a missed day of Ramadan? Then it cant count as Sunnah fast. If you understood what I mean... :

[Ammaarah]

Originally Posted by Nabbe

Salaam aleikum

If you do the sunnah fast, would you not have to have intention to do it as a missed day of Ramadan? Then it cant count as Sunnah fast. If you understood what I mean... :

OK, I said that wrong. I'd do the make-up fast on the sunnah days and let Allah sort it out inshaAllah!

ETA: Does that make sense? Make intention for a make-up fast and do it on Mondays and Thursdays because it's sunnah to fast those days?

[sheilige]

checking in

Assalam alaykum sisters!

I too have plenty of days to make up due to pregnancy/nursing. I still have a nursing babe but he is over 12 months (not stopping anytime soon) but I plan to fast. I think it is totally an individual decision since we have the permit not too. My personal rule is if the baby is solidly on solids, I am ok. The research I have done says it does not have an effect on supply.

He is still nursing tons so I plan to drink a lot at night since he still wakes up a few times a night. I will start tomorrow inshallah since I have been on my cycle.

I too have read that you have to feed a needy person to make up fasts....anyone have any experience with doing this, could you share what you did? I am looking for ideas.

Thanks and Ramadan Mubarak, glad to see all the sistas -Sara

[Ammaarah]

Originally Posted by sheilige

I too have read that you have to feed a needy person to make up fasts....anyone have any experience with doing this, could you share what you did? I am looking for ideas.

If you miss fasts due to menstruation or pregnancy or breastfeeding because you fear for yourself or for yourself and your child, you make them up by fasting those days outside of Ramadan. You don't have to pay fidya (feed the needy) as far as I have read. Obviously ask someone more knowledgable than myself, but I know in the Hanafi school those type of fasts are made up by fasting alone.

I used the word expiation earlier but I should have written fidya, as expiation (kaffara) is a different concept.

[blissmonkey]

Ramadan--So what am I missing?

Okay, I may not be "good" enough to post here, and maybe you'll all dislike me, but after reading the previous posts I have to ask this question...am I the only one who dreads Ramadan ? I mean, I'm fasting my brains out and nothing is "happening". : (Is something _supposed_ to happen? )Are all of you feeling bathed in heavenly light while I'm just lightheaded : and watching the clock, trying to find ways to kill time ? I feel like a huge failure 'cause I "don't get it". I'm counting down the days til I can get back to normal, wake up at a HUMAN hour, go to the gym at a normal time (instead of trying to squeeze it in with a full belly before they close--and I'm always the only one in there when they close!), not obsess over accidentally swallowing a drop of water when I brush my teeth (speaking of which, having breath that doesn't smell like a monkey's backside!) I'm upset that my metabolism is crawling to a halt while I'm trying to shed the last of the baby weight. Am I alone in feeling this? I'm trying to fast "from the heart" but maybe I'm accidentally fasting from the spleen or kneecaps or hair follacles or something because it just isn't happening. What am I doing wrong???? Am I just ?

Oh, and I'm nursing, too. I skipped the first 4 days, cos I was under the impression (from all the internet research I did) that nursing mamas are exempt--but the imam at DH's mosque says nursing moms have to fast (!) AND pregnant women have to fast too (!!!) I would never fast pregnant, and everything I read said you don't have to, so what's up with this guy?

Ok, time to drink half a gallon of water (gotta' hydrate!) and go to bed for 3 hours (the water helps me get up at 5am!) Can anyone help me?

[Ammaarah]

Assalaamu alaykum sister,

Ramadan is not easy, is it? If you really feel like it's too much strain to fast while nursing, maybe wait until next year sis! I really do love Ramadan but it's like spiritual boot camp, and it's easy to feel demoralized.

Like many Muslims, I feel like I drift from feeling spiritually elevated to having very low iman. And when I look at my life, it usually comes back to how much am I trying to live the deen. If I am trying to pray all my prayers with kushu, if I am trying to pray extra prayers and do dhikr when possible, if I am really trying to be mindful of my actions and especially my tongue, I have a better time with deen. If I slack and gossip/backbite, if I watch too much TV, if I let my temper get the best of me with my daughter, etc., I feel further from my center.

The best Ramadan I have had (and bear in mind this is only my fifth fasting) was right before our daughter was conceived. I prayed Tahajud every night and gave myself a lot of time for sehri, then stayed up after Fajr and listened to my husband read Qur'an (I couldn't read it then.) And I was careful about completing my Taraweeh every night with concentration.

Having kids throws a monkey wrench into things. We are told that family is a fitnah (this is in hadith but I can't tell you the source right now.) I used to find that idea offensive but I understand it now. As wonderful as parenting is and marriage, they both take your focus off your spiritual life in some ways. As a mother, I have to pray with my little one right there trying to get all my attention and even trying to take my hijab off constantly some days! And I'm up all night sometimes and have a hard time getting up for Fajr.

Anyway, sis, take the exemption if you feel it's too hard on your health to continue. I am concerned if you're still feeling super run-down. I'm somewhat hypoglycemic but was feeling OK with the fasting after a few days' time. InshaAllah search your heart and remember that while the imam is right, nursing/pregnant women are supposed to fast in OK circumstances, he neglected to mention there's a very well-deserved exemption for those who can't do it. I fasted with a one-year-old who still loved her milk and I might not do it again, or I might do every other day in that circumstance. I wish you a blessed Ramadan and I'm sorry you're dealing with this frustration.

[Ammaarah]

Oh yeah, bliss? Do you WOH or SAH? If you SAH or are off work in the afternoon, I have one simple equation for you: Crock-pot meal + big fat nap with baby = easier fasting!