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Muslim Mamas tribe - Page 71

post #1401 of 1560
Originally Posted by yasinsmama View Post
Salaam Mamas! Mashallah! I have to wait until my little Adam is napping tomorrow to read all of these posts.

Also, my mom and sister about had a heart attack when I said it was okay to nurse while pregnant. My family is from Morocco, but I was born in the states. Is this just a cultural belief? They really freaked out. They think the kids become handicapped, and get sick when they breastfeed from their pregnant mama.
DH was worried about this with DD too when I was nursing her through pg with DS2. I took it as a cultural belief. He eventually got over it when it did not do that,

However, he did tell both DD and me that she should not be nursing with the baby and said the older child could become 'slightly retarded'

DD was virtually weaned before the birth anyway due to my decline in supply and really didn't seem all that interested in NURSING with the baby, mostly mess around but wanted to be close to me. For us, it was better to stop as most of her during-nursing stuff after the baby (mostly new behaviors) were, well, annoying to me.....better that she not actually nurse, but be close with us and not have that dynamic there. For us.
post #1402 of 1560
Assalamu Alaikum:

Has any of you seen "The 99" (Muslim Superheroes)??

Here's an article about them coming to the UK

Here's a Frontline World video on them

As my two boys are Batman obsessed, this might be a good alternative!
post #1403 of 1560
Originally Posted by umsami View Post
Assalamu Alaikum:

Has any of you seen "The 99" (Muslim Superheroes)??
I looked them up after they were briefly mentioned in New Muslim Cool. Still not sure how I feel about the concept, to be honest.
post #1404 of 1560

seeking book recommendations

mamas, i am a nonmuslim learning about Islam, and i wanted to seek your input. could you share your top 3 favorite books on Islam?

i am especially looking for books about Islam and equity for women, about the Qur'an, and about devotional life

of course, any suggestions are welcome! thank you for taking the time.

here are some i already have read:
Mecca and Main Street by G. Abdo, The Great Theft by K. Abou el Fadl, Muhammad by K. Armstrong, No God but God by R. Aslan, The Heart of Islam by S. H. Nasr
post #1405 of 1560
Um, if I were to pick three favorites I don't think they'd really be what you're going for here, so forgive my giving a short list of things I think you might like instead:

The Vision of Islam by Murata and Chittick (other works by the same authors are pretty interesting too, particularly Chittick)

Islam by Fazlur Rahman (it's a short introductory type book, so you might be past this, but it's a very good short intro so if you're looking for that sort of thing it might be worth checking out)

The Story of the Qur'an by Ingrid Mattson (if you're looking for books about the Qur'an I can not recommend this book enough)

I don't usually recommend them -- as far as providing an actual understanding of Islam goes they're prety weak -- but Jeffrey Lang's three books (Even Angels Ask, Struggling to Surrender, and Losing My Religion) put together chronicle a really very common convert experience which might be interesting.

Tariq Ramadan's Western Muslims and Radical Reform might also interest you. (I've not read the latter -- waiting for the paperback -- but I have read excerpts and I think the chapter on women in particular might be what you're looking for.)

I am not personally a big fan, but I think you would like Amina Wadud's books -- Qur'an and Woman and Inside the Gender Jihad. Also Asma Barlas's Believing Women in Islam.
post #1406 of 1560
Liquesce, thank you for your list, and for making your opinions clear, too.

my interest in books about women in Islam comes, in part from wariness of extremism in viewpoints. from what I have read about Amina Wadud I gather she is very controversial, and pretty extremely feminist in her views? on the other hand, I am wary of picking something up and having it be too....apologist in nature. does that make sense? on that topic, I guess I hope to find something moderate in view. elsewhere you recommended a book on hijab by Katherine Bullock that i hope to get from interlibrary loan.

for the record, i would be glad to learn of your actual favorites, too.
post #1407 of 1560
Salaam Alaikum kangamitroo,

I am glad you read The Heart of Islam by Seyyed Hossein Nasr. That's what I always recommend!
post #1408 of 1560
I'm boring with my favorites. If I were to say off the top of my head, I like Ghazali's Inner Dimensions of Islamic Worship, Al-Maqasid: Nawawi's Manual of Islam (which is indeed as dry as it sounds), Reflections of Pearls, and The Accepted Whispers. The first two are more or less reference works mostly on "the pillars" of Islam, the first (obviously) having a little more to do with intentions and mindsets, and the latter having more to do with the acts themselves (but there's a lot of overlap). The latter two are primarily just books of prayers. Honorable mention to Aisha Bewley's Muslim Women: A Biographical Dictionary, which again, obviously, is more a reference work, but one that is pretty heartening in its sum total.

I don't personally really like applying a scale of moderate-->extreme or conservative-->liberal when it comes to exegesis or interpretation, which is why while I don't really agree with them on a lot of points I'm comfortable suggesting Wadud and Barlas as reading. I come at things from a point of view that says so long as there is a clear, knowledgeable effort being made to not misrepresent the Qur'an or misrepresent the hadith, a work is valid. (Although I know I'm kind of stretching the tradition of the definition of legitimate scholarship there.) The only thing, IMO, is to go into a work understanding its bias and understanding that it is an opinion, not a big capital-T Truth. Though I do totally get wanting to stick with non-extremes if you feel you don't really have a foundation for sorting out what's what ... it's just that the waters are a little muddier than to be able to do that and have left a lot of reading materials on contentious issues such as gender or sexuality.

(P.S. - The Bullock book is great. I'm glad you found it ... hijab is such a side issue that becomes so easily centralized that I usually only bring it up if it's asked about specifically, but it is worth a read.)

(P.P.S. - If you have a LOT of time on your hands, there's a three-volume set of history books on Islam called "The Venture of Islam" which does a lot to contextualize the place of the religion in the world. But, again, it's huge. There's a similar smaller work called "A History of Islamic Societies," but I've not read it.)
post #1409 of 1560
post #1410 of 1560
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
Yikes. How scary for those two women. I'll be making du'a for them.

It's even more scary that the most he can be charged with is a second degree misdemeanor... which means he'll probably have a chance to carry out some horrible act on Muslimahs.
post #1411 of 1560
I have Radical Reform sitting on my shelf to read one day. I have started it several times, but always end up getting distracted. It seems promising though.

I need some advice from you all regarding headscarves. I am one of those sisters who sometimes wheres hijab and sometimes doesnt. I haven't quite decided how I feel about it for myself and when I do wear it, it is mostly for political reasons, but most of the time I don't feel comfortable broadcasting my beliefs so publicly. So I was kind of caught off guard when my 11 yr old asked to wear one. She knows the reasons women wear them and the reasons I am slightly uncomfortable with her wearing one, but she is pretty adament. Should I let her wear it? She is only 11 and hasn't even reached womanhood yet. I fear that people will be rude to her about it in school and I also fear her father's reaction (this is my stepdaughter and dh doesnt even really like me wearing scarf). I also don't think she fully grasps the idea that when you wear hijab you not only change your appearance, you also modify your actions. Would you let your 11 yr old wear a headscarf? If you were raised Muslim, when did you start wearing one? I have let her wear it to the grocery store one time, but not to school or anything. I just don't really know what the right thing to do is. I kind of want to let her wear it if she is into it, and I guess if it becomes a problem she could always take it off, but I have mixed feelings. What would you do if it were your daughter?
post #1412 of 1560
Um, while I would, your situation with being a stepparent to a child whose father would oppose it is a little different. It probably really just depends on what kind of boundaries your family has with regard to decision making and non-biological children.

I'm not really sure why you say wearing hijab also means modifying actions though?
post #1413 of 1560
What I mean is that right now she still enjoys the lower boundaries between boys and girls that we have in childhood, she doesn't have to worry about things like getting too close to a boy when playing and that kind of stuff, I feel like by putting on the hijab she will also need to begin to pay more attention to her interactions with others. Basically I kind of see the headscarf as almost a statement of womanhood and with that means acting like a woman and following the rules set forth for women, that we are only now gradually beginning to enact. Hope that makes sense.

As far as her dad goes, at this point, I am the major desiscion maker. He is rarely home and her real mother has seemingly dropped off the earth. I don't think that dh would be seriously upset from a theological standpoint, but he worries about safety of covered women, and as terrible as it sounds, I think he also worries about the reflection of it on him.
post #1414 of 1560
on a completely different note, does anyone know the ruling on using cups(i.e. Diva Cup) to contain menstrual fluid?
post #1415 of 1560
Well, in your shoes then I would probably either let her and look upon it as her way of expressing interest in Islam or perhaps just playing "dress up" as adults in the way that kids do, not as a committment that she has made, or just explain to her that if she's still interested when she reaches thirteen, gets her period, or whatever, that is the appropriate age, and while if she wants to sometimes now that's ok, but to dress as such full time has a special meaning for which she needs to wait.
post #1416 of 1560
Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post
on a completely different note, does anyone know the ruling on using cups(i.e. Diva Cup) to contain menstrual fluid?
While I have no idea if there's any ruling on cups in particular, there are many that say tampons are perfectly permissible, and I'm not sure what would make a cup different from a tampon in that sense.
post #1417 of 1560
Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post
on a completely different note, does anyone know the ruling on using cups(i.e. Diva Cup) to contain menstrual fluid?
I didn't know there were rulings on using any form of sanitary pads, napkins, etc. I can't see why one would rule against any of them, to be honest... although I do remember hearing some Muslim girls ask me if using a tampon would make them not virgins anymore. :

I can't see very many Muslim women asking this of an Imam/Shaykh... or of most Imams/Shaykhs even understanding what a diva cup is... LOL Perhaps with the Internet, some might have.... but honestly, I sort of think that this is where common sense comes into play. It is not known to be harmful to use a cup, it's better for the environment because it's reusable, so why would it be forbidden?

But definitely let us know if you find anything.
post #1418 of 1560
Originally Posted by umsami View Post
I didn't know there were rulings on using any form of sanitary pads, napkins, etc. I can't see why one would rule against any of them, to be honest... although I do remember hearing some Muslim girls ask me if using a tampon would make them not virgins anymore. :
I've read a couple of rulings to that effect too -- protecting chastity and whatnot -- but I pretty much summarily dismiss them on the emotional grounds of my irritation with how common it is for Muslims to consider an intact hymen to be the mark of virginity.

Honestly, if I really wanted to know about the Diva Cup specifically, I'd probably head over to Seeker's Answers or something and anonymously ask with a link included to just what I'm talking about.
post #1419 of 1560
I just found out I got a pretty good pay raise this year (I finished my master's degree), and I would like to up my charity donations. I am specifically interested in sponsoring a Palestinian child. Do any of you know of reputable, preferably US-based, charities I might look into. I want to make sure the money I send is actually helping a child. I'm looking to make a monthy contribution and would love to know how the child is doing; although, that is not entirely necessary.


post #1420 of 1560
Islamic Relief does child sponorship, amongst other things ... Here's the page for more info. The vast majority of money I donate personally goes to them.

There's also the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund ... I've always heard good things, but when I just googled I saw there have been some questions regarding their funding. Just FYI, if you wanted to look into it and decide for yourself.
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