Worked up the nerve to finally ask (TMI)

[silly_scout]

I've been having some really big problems lately. Embarrassing ones. I hope someone will be able to enlighten.
It starts 4 months ago with a c-section. Yes, I know how you all feel about c-sections, but I had a footling breech baby and I was afraid of a version. Flame if you must. Anyways, about 2-3 months PP, DH and I attempted to DTD. We had to stop because it hurt too much (yes, we used KY.
Ever since we tried that night to DTD, I started getting a yellowish discharge and a faint smell... ew, I can't believe I'm admitting all this. I went to the doc (I don't know why at this point, I've lost all faith in the medical world) and he did an internal, said the cervix/uterus felt fine, did a culture and the sample came back as not having bacteria or any kind of infection.
DH and I tried again today (4 months PP) and it KILLED! Couldn't finish, even though I really wanted to. It feels burning and raw. I really don't understand, especially seeing as I had a c/s.
I don't understand! I have to change my undies twice a day because of the discharge. Is this normal?! Am I supposed to live with this forever? When do I get my relationship with DH back? : Does anyone have insight or experience concerning this?

[rmzbm]

I don't know about the TMI part but post section sex IS tight and can hurt, just like normal post partum sex...some are surprised by that.

[channelofpeace]

For me, sex didn't feel "normal" again until i got my cycles back (8 and 13 months and still waiting). I was surprised it hurt after my c-sections.

[applejuice]

Maybe that should be part of the consent forms?

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by applejuice

Maybe that should be part of the consent forms?

What should?

[nausicaamom]

I think it's even tighter because you don't get stetched out from a vaginal birth, but all of those hormones still tighten you up.

We had to go very slow and I had to be *really* ready before we attempted penetration. Changing position also helped, I'm pretty sure I had the most discomfort with standard missionary position those first few months. You may also have better luck with the liquid form of lube rather than the jelly - and be sure to use lots, even if it seems like you have enough add some more for good measure.

I did have a uterine infection about 1 year post-partum, but I had pain and tenderness w/no change in my discharge. If it's that much out of the norm for you, I would try to get a second opinion - maybe you'll be able to find a doc or midwife that you can really click with and kill two birds with one stone.

Best of luck and I hope things get better.

[DucetteMama21842]

I can't remember if you said you were nursing or not... but most postpartum "dryness" is due to nursing... and you will be tight and sore postpartum... it's normal... Mine also didn't get "normal" feeling until my cycles returned.

[silly_scout]

Thanks for the support and advice. I guess I never thought I would actually look forward to my cycles returning.
What are the consent forms you're talking about?

[turtlewomyn]

We didn't have sex I swear until about six months post partum, my belly just felt weird. There was pain and numbness at the same time, and I didn't want dh touching me there. Add that to the fear of getting pregnant again, and the emotional issues I had surrounding the c-section, and things were a mess for us. Things are much better now. My cycles came back at about 9 months pp, and yeah, that does affect the tightness/dryness.

I think that people are talking about the consent form you sign when you agree to a c-section. I think that there is a common misconception out in the world that a c-section will maintain your sex life, while a vaginal birth will destroy it. Women have even talked about their doctors using this as a bargaining technique while trying to talk them into a section ("You don't want your bottom to get all stretched out, do you?") Perhaps if the doctors admitted that your sex life can still be derailed by a c-section - then we wouldn't be hearing all this hype about elective c-sections for no medical reason (i.e. Britney Spears).

[hubris]

Originally Posted by DucetteMama21842

I can't remember if you said you were nursing or not... but most postpartum "dryness" is due to nursing... and you will be tight and sore postpartum... it's normal... Mine also didn't get "normal" feeling until my cycles returned.

Yup. Sex got MUCH better once my son night-weaned and the breastfeeding hormones slacked off a bit and my cycles returned (I was 15 mos PP).

My mom sat me down after my first birth for a talk about post-baby sex and the importance of good lube. Ok, I laugh, but it was good advice. Find a really good lubricant and give yourself lots of time to work up to being in the mood. I recently found out (through MDC, naturally!) that some people use coconut oil for lube, and after trying it will never go back to artificial lubes, it's very nice. Plus you can imagine you're having sex on a tropical island or something, which doesn't hurt the mood at all.

[cottonwood]

If you have a smelly yellowish discharge, no that doesn't sound right and I wouldn't rule out an infection even if the doctor says you don't have one. Also, an overgrowth of yeast can cause that burning feeling -- cranberry capsules and cutting out sugar can help. Also an allergy or sensitivity to something on your husband (if he's circ'd, does he use soap?) or even to the lube. Personally, I wouldn't try it again until I could become very aroused and naturally lubricated enough to do it without lube -- because that's evidence that your body is truly ready for it.

[danotoyou2]

I'm not sure about the discharge, but the post-c/s pain is pretty common. It was about 6 months PP before I felt comfortable with sex again (and got pregnant 7 months PP, haha).

There's a term for this, and I forget what it is... but basically, it's a 'condition' where the woman tries to have sex too soon after birth, and finds it uncomfortable or painful (even with a c/s, because your cervix is still raw, and things are tight down there). After that, sex continues to be painful because you start to associate sex with pain, and don't relax during it... and a tense vagina means a painfully tight one. It's a vicious cycle.

For me, getting rip roaring drunk worked pretty well. I can ALWAYS relax when that happens, and it helped to stop the chain of events.

Even when I WAS really turned on, I still needed KY. The nursing thing just sort of stopped the natural flow of fluids.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I think she ment putting on the concent form that sex will still be painful after a section.

[Juvysen]

Am I the only one who had a vaginal birth, breastfed my dd and had better sex postpartum than previously? I started again at 2 months pp, I guess, but my umm... "downstairs" felt better during sex to me (same as before to dh) after giving birth than before.

[mommyminer]

Are you sure you don't have a yeast infection? Usually, yeasty discharge is curdy white - but I have also seen it yellowish. I would treat it as yeast and see what happens. There are many natural ways to clear up yeast. The one that works best for me is a vinegar douche - I make it myself. I bought a reusable douche bag for $10 at Walgreens, and I need to use it a few times a year. I can't remember the actual recipe - I just pour some vinegar in and add warm water.

You could also try inserting a garlic clove (peeled) into your vagina at night. Garlic is an anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-yeast (I think). I've never done this b/c the vinegar/water works everytime, but I would try it if it didn't.

[ktbug]

I, too would treat it as yeast (a one- or three- day course), then if the discharge didn't resolve, I'd get a second opinion pelvic from another provider.

sorry you're going through all this

[channelofpeace]

Originally Posted by danotoyou2

There's a term for this, and I forget what it is... but basically, it's a 'condition' where the woman tries to have sex too soon after birth, and finds it uncomfortable or painful (even with a c/s, because your cervix is still raw, and things are tight down there). After that, sex continues to be painful because you start to associate sex with pain, and don't relax during it... and a tense vagina means a painfully tight one. It's a vicious cycle.

vaginismus

[applejuice]

[

[liseux]

I just want to add that the best pp lube of all is olive oil. The lineolic acid in it keeps yeast from breeding, so it kills 2 birds with one stone, not to mention it has only one ingredient, supports small farms in Italy & Greece & has no preservatives or parabens! OK, PSA over now,

[RachelGS]

If you're nursing, your estrogen may also just be a bit low, and that can cause very thin and irritated vaginal tissues. After nine months of crazy-painful sex postpartum with my first child, I got an est-ring, and that fixed it.