Feeling less pregnant today...

[Ironica]

...which is scary. :-( I'm not as tired as I should be; it's almost 9:00, I had no nap, and I'm still pretty awake; the last two nights I went to bed at 8-something because I couldn't keep my eyes open. And I woke up at 5 this morning (couldn't get back to sleep either). Today was a work day, so it's not like I was just lazing around.

*sigh* last time, from the moment I got the BFP, I had no worries. Not a one. No agony over any of the genetic testing, not a single thought of miscarriage, nada. This time... I don't know if it's just because it took us a few tries, whereas last time we got pregnant the very first cycle we tried, or if it's because I know THREE women who have had m/cs this year so far, or what, but I'm just a lot more anxious.

[MissAnnThrope]

I don't know what I can really say to make you feel better... I doubt there is anything. We all have our worries and each time is different. If it would make you feel better to poas then poas. Getting to see that 2nd line might be enough.

[linguistmama]

I don't know what I could say either except that I know what you mean. With dd it never crossed my mind that I might miscarry. Now I know alot of women who had multiple miscarriages and I think about it all the time.

[sadiejane08]

I think it's a very normal fear in this age of instant information--we all read all the time in pg forums and on pg websites about women who've miscarried, and suddenly it seems like it happens all the time. (This same phenomenon has happened in the context of our eldest daughter's illness--suddenly it seems like half the kids in the world get brain cancer. I think it's largely because we're paying so much attention to it, like a filter the rest of the world comes in through.)

I'm having my share of little worries, though I've never had a m/c and had only healthy pregnancies and babies. I'm having days where I feel more pg and days where I feel less so, too--I know what you mean! I don't particularly want to be nauseated, but then again . . .

I'm telling myself that there's nothing I can do about it if this is going to be a m/c, so I might as well not worry. It helps a little, not 100%, but a little .

[apriljoy]

I worried a lot last time. I was so amazed by the whole process of pregnancy and childbirth, and I found myself thinking, Can my body really do this? I thought for sure that this time I would feel better about it. After all, I've been through it before, and I *know* that my body is capable of carrying and maintaining a seperate life. But I guess now I feel like I'm pushing my luck or something. Like it's expecting too much to think that I could have 2 completely healthy pregnancies back to back (especially since I'm only planning to have 2 children). I wish there was something we mamas could do to ease those worries, but I'm afraid it's just part of the experience sometimes.

[ORLY?]

I have my "ups and downs" too. Somedays I'm like "Holy crappy crap, I'm pregnant" these are the days my boobs hurt, I'm tired, crampy and cranky. Then I have the days were I am totally normal. I go to bed late, I wake up early, I keep looking down at my pelvis and asking it, "Hello? Is anybody in there?" because I don't feel anything.
Try to relax, your body knows what is it doing, even if you don't. Darn bodies.

[3for3hb]

I second the opinion that it is normal to worry. I did a lot with my first because I had done some heavy duty partying at Bonaroo with my dh (maybe not THAT heavy duty from some POV ). But I had also just taken my embryology class a few months prior and all the deformities that I had to look at and learn about were still fresh in my mind. My biggest fear was that I would give birth to a monster baby (one with no skull and an exposed brain). I had horrible dreams about that.

With my second I was really worried when I started going late (again) because within 3 months of having my first my landlady lost her baby in birth (full term) and a friend of mine found our her baby had passed on in utero (full term and a little over).

I've never miscarried (and I've also never really "tried" to get pregnant) so I can't say I can relate to those worries in particular especially because it seems that we are very fertile. But I know women who ache because of what they've had to endure in terms of fertility and reproduction so my heart goes out to you all.

[dot2dot]

But I guess now I feel like I'm pushing my luck or something. Like it's expecting too much to think that I could have 2 completely healthy pregnancies back to back (especially since I'm only planning to have 2 children). I wish there was something we mamas could do to ease those worries, but I'm afraid it's just part of the experience sometimes.

I am so glad you said this, April. I feel so similar only I am on #3. I told Dh the other night in a moment of very low thinking that it seems like russian roulette. He really couldn't understand my feelings, and I have pretty much gotten over that negative day, but it makes me feel better knowing that it is not just me with these thoughts every once in a while. They are not all consuming, they just go through my head sometimes.

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by dot2dot

I am so glad you said this, April. I feel so similar only I am on #3. I told Dh the other night in a moment of very low thinking that it seems like russian roulette. He really couldn't understand my feelings, and I have pretty much gotten over that negative day, but it makes me feel better knowing that it is not just me with these thoughts every once in a while. They are not all consuming, they just go through my head sometimes.

men sure say the darndest things. a jaw drop smilie would be appropriate here. with my last pg i fell apart when a mama beat me to a beautiful wool soaker on the TP and then lost her baby a week or so later. It was so traumatic to me and he just didn't really get it, despite the cuddles and the words of comfort he offered he just didn't get it.

[Meche]

{{{{{Ironica}}}}

Hugs to you. These first few weeks are so emotional. It's normal to worry. Give yourself some slack to have a wide range of emotions, don't hold it against yourself, and then remind yourself that your body knows what to do to grow a healthy and happy baby!

[Organicavocado]

-hug- I was worried over the same thing this morning, and it all came crashing back about an hour later. So give it a day or two, hopefully your symptoms and thus your peace of mind will come back

[rainymorning]

i'm 5w4d, and in the last 2 days i'm feeling much less tired (after 3 days of extreme fatigue) and i'm worried too. this pregnancy somehow doesn't feel real to me, and this scares me--like my subconscious knows something that i don't. on one hand i feel "certain" that something is wrong, but on the other hand i feel that this just cannot be, and that i'm just imagining things. i'm usually very intuitive, but i'm refusing (unable?)to trust my intuition on this, because even though my worries seem to be grounded in something, on the other hand i also "know" (but not "feel") that i'm pregnant and that the baby will be okay. this doesnt' make any sense, does it?

[mommycakes]

Originally Posted by rainymorning

i'm 5w4d, and in the last 2 days i'm feeling much less tired (after 3 days of extreme fatigue) and i'm worried too. this pregnancy somehow doesn't feel real to me, and this scares me--like my subconscious knows something that i don't. on one hand i feel "certain" that something is wrong, but on the other hand i feel that this just cannot be, and that i'm just imagining things. i'm usually very intuitive, but i'm refusing (unable?)to trust my intuition on this, because even though my worries seem to be grounded in something, on the other hand i also "know" (but not "feel") that i'm pregnant and that the baby will be okay. this doesnt' make any sense, does it?

It does. I think you're saying that intuitively you feel that something is amiss but you want, with all your heart, to believe that it's all a-o.k. I believe in the power of positive thinking. Tell your baby how much you want him/her. How much you look forward to seeing that little face, holding that perfect body and loving him/her forever and ever. Make your baby feel welcome and know that there are loving arms waiting to show him/her the world.

Hugs, momma.

[rainymorning]

Originally Posted by mommycakes

It does. I think you're saying that intuitively you feel that something is amiss but you want, with all your heart, to believe that it's all a-o.k. I believe in the power of positive thinking. Tell your baby how much you want him/her. How much you look forward to seeing that little face, holding that perfect body and loving him/her forever and ever. Make your baby feel welcome and know that there are loving arms waiting to show him/her the world.

Hugs, momma.

thanks
i'm trying. it doesn't help that dh is not so excited, and i feel the little one feels it. dh says he WILL BE excited about the BABY, and i believe him, but he can't be excited about me being pregnant, and the conglomeration of cells that looks like a fish... this just brings tears to my eyes...

[Ironica]

Ok, I took MissAnnThrope's advice and just took another test today. ;-) I did feel better after seeing that (especially since it was VERY diluted... nothing like FMU... and still came up relatively dark).

I had a moment last night where I just felt all of a sudden that everything was fine and nothing could go wrong... but it was fleeting. ;-) Last time I was like that for 9 months straight!

I also met up with a friend today who is six months pregnant. Her daughter is 4 months younger than my son; this time, we're five months apart in the other direction. ;-) It may have made things feel a bit more "real" to chat with her about all things baby.

But I haven't even had any caffiene today and I'm still wide awake ;-). This is weird!

[mommycakes]

Originally Posted by rainymorning

thanks
i'm trying. it doesn't help that dh is not so excited, and i feel the little one feels it. dh says he WILL BE excited about the BABY, and i believe him, but he can't be excited about me being pregnant, and the conglomeration of cells that looks like a fish... this just brings tears to my eyes...

I'm excited for you, rainymorning, congratulations!!

I'm sorry about your dh. I think it's hard for them to conceptualize. I bought the book,*The Expectant Father* for my dh the first time around. It helped him feel connected to the process. He also came to all of my appts. with me. Maybe your dh will be up for something like that. And he *will* get more excited when your precious baby starts to kick and move around. It'll be a sure sign to him that the baby is real.

[mommycakes]

Originally Posted by Ironica

Ok, I took MissAnnThrope's advice and just took another test today. ;-) I did feel better after seeing that (especially since it was VERY diluted... nothing like FMU... and still came up relatively dark).

So glad you're feeling better, Ironica. What a relief.

(woohoo, that was my 500th post!)