Can you help me process some of ds2's birth?

[operamommy]

I'll try to make this brief but understandable. Background - baby #1, epidural...baby #2, pain shot (did NO good)....baby #3, pain shot (umm, even the darned *nurse* noticed that it didn't help!)

With my second birth, I was shocked at how "easy" birthing was. I was in labor for about 4 hours and had the babe shortly after I got to the hospital. Yes, it was painful, but at NO point was it unbearable. The shot I had made me loopy and that was about it - I still felt pain and all sensation. Pushing felt almost good in a way.

My third birth (ds2) was agony. It was only about 4 hours again, but it was 4 hours of pure hell. No feeling of contractions really till they HURT, no build-up of labor at all. It was all back labor, and no position I got into relieved the pain. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but at some point I understood that you actually could be in so much pain that you wanted to die. I asked for a shot for pain, and it had so little effect that even the nurse commented on it. I cried (literally) every time I felt the urge to push because pushing hurt so bad.

I'm now pregnant with my 4th, and really nervous that I'm going to have another super-painful labor and delivery. Has anyone else had the experience where it hurt to push? And honestly, would I be better off next time getting an epidural instead of a pain shot if I have a repeat experience? My goal is, of course, to go med free - but I am not up for that kind of pain again. Should I look into hypno birthing perhaps? I'd love to have some good, concrete suggestions. Thanks!

[sweeetpea]

First, I am sorry that your birth was so painful at that point. Talking iwith a counselor that specializes in fear release or trauma processing would potentially help you with the residual effects.

Second, was ds2 presenting in a funny way? Asynclitic head, or maybe a hand or arm up by/over the head? Sometimes a malpresentation can cause the type of pain you are describing. It would be unusual for the same type of malpresentation to duplicate itself with your next birth, especially since te first two were "normal".

Good luck,

Sweetpea

[shelley4]

i can totally relate.. my labour with ds (first born) was so freaking hard... back labour the whole time.. it was 8.5 hours, considered pretty short for a first time momma, but it was agonizing.. i never did feel a single contrax in my belly.. it was all lower back, no position would relieve it, and i felt i had no breaks in between contrax, just pain the whole time. at one point, i remember asking my MW for a c-sec!!! (SO glad she didn't take me seriously!).. i just wanted the pain to be done!

thankfully, my dd's birth was "normal".. slowly building up contrax with rests in between. it was an awesome homebirth, the best day of my life.

so, just because you have one hard labour, it doesn't mean that all future labours will be like that. i want to give you lots of hugs ... going in to dd's labour, i was so scared that it would all happen again

[operamommy]

Thank you so much, mamas! I just really needed that reminder that not all births are the same.

[ColoradoMama]

Is a homebirth a possibility? I ask because of my experiences. My first two were at the hospital. The first birth was a disaster. The second was fast - less than 5 1/2 hours, but it felt like a five hour long contraction. It was hard and painful - it felt out of control, and if it hadn't been for the doula, I would have ended up with a drugged birth - I'm sure of it. I've since had two homebirths and the difference was remarkable. I was so relaxed and comfortable at home. My last baby was posterior, and it was by far the hardest birth, but it never felt out of control, and I never felt like I needed pain meds. It might not be a possibility for you or it might not be something you're interested in - but I thought I'd tell you my experiences.

[mommyminer]

Not all births are the same My first was a painful hospital birth - pretty good for most standards, but hard the same. My second birth was a fairly painless hospital birth - only real pain was when her head came out - ring of fire. My third home waterbirth was very intense, painful for the last hour, but I did not have a ring of fire at all.

You will not be given too much to handle. Enter birth with no expectations and take it one contrax at a time. I also wouldn't be surprised if baby wasn't quite positioned correctly.

[hipmummy]

I can relate. ds was ascynclinic. I was in labor for 18 hours of which four was pushing and I had horrible back labor. I labored in the birthing tub, which was amazing. I also received sterile water papules, which I have very mixed feelings about, they worked but it felt liked I was attacked by killer bees. It was the most painful part of the birth. But they did work. For two hours I felt just a twinge. I did have too have a little pitocin in the end, but they rest was totally natural.
I would also recommend a birth doula and counter pressure!!

Good Luck!!!!

[Romana]

I'm sorry your birth was painful. I had an extremely painful last 8 hours during my first birth. I did not have any pain medication. I don't plan to have any this time, either. I feel that it was the best way for me to give birth, despite how long it took to process (about 10-12 months) and despite having some mild PTSD.

I would definitely avoid the pain shot - I'm assuming that was IV narcotics or something like that? Demerol, stadol? Those can make things worse by making you feel less in control, and they rarely reduce pain.

I also had extreme pain while pushing, and that last 8 hours was all transition and pushing. It was not fun. Some of the most helpful things for me were fully writing out my birth story and just thinking about it and talking about it with dh.

There is no making that kind of pain go away, but you can get through it. I'm unafraid to say that I hated the way my NCB felt, but I would still do it again for its benefits and risk avoidance. I know it was the best thing for me and for dd. I know I'll do it again, even if it's that bad again.

However, I'm hoping for something different. It think it helps to be prepared for the same, while knowing that (as others said) every birth is different. There is no reason to think that your last birth will predict the course of this birth. But you don't know what you're getting into. I try to mentally consider many different scenarios, and work on my comfort level with all of them, imagining how I would handle each situation. It helps me to feel more prepared for the birth, more comfortable with my prior experience, and less anxious overall.

Also, make sure that you have good support people lined up. That can make a tremendous difference when you need encouragement. I found just having someone looking me straight in the eyes when I needed it was extremely beneficial.

I hope you have an easy and peaceful birth.

[gemasita]

Definitely sounds like the baby was posterior. That would explain most of the sensations you were having. Sorry that was such a painful birth for you.

I am a Hypnobabies instructor and I do love that there is a lot of "fear release" work in the course.

[moonyoungi]

Maybe do lots exercise that positions your baby for an optimal foetal postioning, like, pelvic rock.???
assuming that in you last birth, the baby was posterior???

[pixiesmommy]

If your practitioner will help you figure it out, I've heard that lots of women get a great deal of relief from spinningbabies.com which is a site you can use to find out if your baby is posterior ahead of time and use relaxation and body positioning to help them present in a less painful way.

A doula might help too- try to find one who specializes in massage or accupressure.

Manda