Would you be bothered by someone saying somethign to YOU about your intact infant?

[HarperRose]

I noticed an intact baby over the weekend! I was in line for the bathroom and the mom was changing his diaper. I saw an intact little body part!

I wanted to say something to her like, "Hey, good for you! I'm so glad to see fewer babies getting cut." But I didn't. I'd have lost my place in line and being 7 mos pregnant I really had to go.

Part of why I didn't was because I just wasn't sure what her response would be. I was worried she might think I was some kind of weirdo for noticing a baby's business. :

Would it bother you if you were approached by some stranger in the bathroom and she commented on your son's intactness?

[Papai]

If it was positive, I wouldn't mind.

If it was negative, hell yes I would mind!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

: but I can see how it would disturbe someone who isnt a intactavist.

[wombat]

Um I don't think I'd appreciate it coming from a stranger in the bathroom while I was changing a diaper. I find comments like that a bit stalkerish, ditto the BF comments.

But I was pleased to hear it from one the pediatricians at the military hospital we go to. He had reason to be looking down there I figured He congratulated me on having the sense not to circ. But it's not in my culture to circ anyhow, or his either (he was Filipino). He seemed frustrated working in the US medical system.

[glongley]

Circumcision is practiced in the Filipino culture. But done on older boys as a rite of passage to manhood.

Gillian

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by wombat

Um I don't think I'd appreciate it coming from a stranger in the bathroom while I was changing a diaper. I find comments like that a bit stalkerish, ditto the BF comments.

Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking. Like MCatLvrMom2A&X said, too, it may have weirded her out if she wasn't an intactivist. And how do you know if someone is or not, unless you're in their close circle of friends and it's been discussed. Y'know?

[bluetoes]

But it's not in my culture to circ anyhow, or his either (he was Filipino). He seemed frustrated working in the US medical system.

Actually if it's possible Filipinos are even more squidged out by leaving their boys intact than Americans. I work with a bunch and it's a very big part of their culture.

Back to the original topic - if would depend on the person. If she was a normal looking mom type like me I would be fine with it and if I had a free non-poopy hand during the diaper change I'd happily give her an 'intact five' (like from Scrubs)

[KBecks]

I think commenting on stranger's babies penises seems kind of weird. Even if it is a compliment

But, good for that mom!!

[calngavinsmom]

Personally, I would welcome a comment, positive or negative. Ya never know when an opportunity to do some enlightening will present itself....and if a question (or comment) comes from a PREGNANT woman, all the better, with the right comeback, you might just save a baby boy some trauma

Take care,
Tara

[the_lissa]

Originally Posted by KBecks

I think commenting on stranger's babies penises seems kind of weird. Even if it is a compliment

But, good for that mom!!

Yes me too. I am an intactivist, and I think it is very weird. I know sometimes you can't help but notice, but to comment on it seems creepy.

[carriebft]

I just celebrate in my head and then talk about it here . Although I wouldn't mind if anyone commented to me.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by carriebft

I just celebrate in my head and then talk about it here . Although I wouldn't mind if anyone commented to me.

That's what I opted to do -- seemed the safer choice.

Sometimes I wanna wear a giant sign that says "MY SON IS INTACT AND I BREASTFEED AND HOMEBIRTH AND AVOID MEDS AND AM A HIPPIE EVEN THOUGH I'M WEARING MAKEUP AND HAVE MY HAIR DONE JUST SO! AND IT'S A GOOD THING TO LIVE LIFE NATURALLY!"

[velveeta]

I am also an intactivist, and I find it weird. When my older child was in diapers, I didn't try to cover him or so, but now that he is four, and I am helping him change in public, I try to cover him because you never know when a weirdo might be checking him out.

OTOH, my DH and I both find circ'ing very very abnormal, so to comment on something normal seems really weird to me. You know?

[velveeta]

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

Sometimes I wanna wear a giant sign that says "MY SON IS INTACT AND I BREASTFEED AND HOMEBIRTH AND AVOID MEDS AND AM A HIPPIE EVEN THOUGH I'M WEARING MAKEUP AND HAVE MY HAIR DONE JUST SO! AND IT'S A GOOD THING TO LIVE LIFE NATURALLY!"

Oh my gosh! I am just the same! I like to have a pedicure to go with my homebirth!

[carriebft]

Originally Posted by velveeta

I am also an intactivist, and I find it weird. When my older child was in diapers, I didn't try to cover him or so, but now that he is four, and I am helping him change in public, I try to cover him because you never know when a weirdo might be checking him out.

OTOH, my DH and I both find circ'ing very very abnormal, so to comment on something normal seems really weird to me. You know?

Yeah it's kinda like when we were demonstrating against circumcision on the Capitol Lawn in Washington and tourists from other countries were coming up to us and asking us if we were joking- "They don't really do that here, do they?!"

[Starr]

I would be a little creeped out that someone was purposely looking and checking to see while I was changing my child, you know?

[l_olive]

You know, the only two little boys I know who are circed don't LOOK circ'ed. Both of them have enough remaining foreskin to cover the glans, but I know from talking to their mom that she had it done with both.

But I imagine you could be offering congrats to someone for leaving their child intact, just to have them think that they need to go back and have him re-circed because obviously the doc didn't "take enough off."

[carriebft]

Originally Posted by Starr

I would be a little creeped out that someone was purposely looking and checking to see while I was changing my child, you know?

Just wanted to say I dont purposefully look...but I think a big reason why I wouldnt mind if someone said something to me is that my son likes to be changed standing up. So he stands on the changing table (if its an actual table and not one of those baby station things)--which makes him pretty visible to anyone in the room

But, no, unless I'm helping change or talking with the mom/baby (hard not to see kinda thing) I don't go peaking over shoulders and looking

[Starr]

I see, I have a daughter so all of our changing is her lying down which could make it hard to see. Also I did change DD once and the woman using the hand dryer made a comment on how part of DD's vagine is much darker than her skin tone and you can imagine the look she got. I mean its a small spot and you really have to be looking to see it.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Starr

I see, I have a daughter so all of our changing is her lying down which could make it hard to see. Also I did change DD once and the woman using the hand dryer made a comment on how part of DD's vagine is much darker than her skin tone and you can imagine the look she got. I mean its a small spot and you really have to be looking to see it.

Ohh. That would creep me out for sure.

The changing table faced the baby's "open end" to everyone in line. Kind of a stupid angle for the table, to be honest, but whatever. At least there was one in there! (This was a men's room converted to a ladies room because there were more women present than men.)