Babywise strikes again....grrr - Page 3

[guestmama9908]

Originally Posted by Yulia_R

Poor poor baby .

Something just hit my mind. Not that long ago there was a thread about CPS taking away a bf baby who just wouldn't gain weight. Now I wonder if he wasn't bf on schedule. Or was he allowed to nurse at night...

I am good friends now with the mom in question. The baby you are referring to who was taken was fed on demand and had been given formula.

[phreedom]

Hey Everyone...finally have an update. Baby is supposed to be going home friday. The good news is he is eating, but then from there it gets kind of aggravating.

When the Dr. was making rounds I had mentioned the Babywise thing to him and my concerns about her being so rigid on the feeding thing when the baby goes home and how she is really bent on breastfeeding, but if she keeps this up...before long she's going to dry up. And she really didn't sound like she wanted the kid to have formula. Really need to nip the problem in the bud.

As of right now the baby is about half and half on his feeds. Half breastmilk half formula. She nurses him when she's here (which is during the day) but hasn't really been pumping enough to carry him thorough the night. I explained that this is okay. Just keep pumping every 2-3 hours (she finally agreed to pump around the clock after being told pump is good...but it doesn't yeild the same milk output a baby would...there for pumping frequently is essential for maintaining milk supply) I encouraged her and said she is doing a really good job and that things will probably get better when baby goes home. She will be with him at all times and he can nurse whenever he wants. And just because he is being supplemented now doesn't mean it's over. It's possible to wean him off it. Just make sure she nurses on demand...blah...blah...blah.

We even touched on Babywise. I mentioned my experience with the book. It seems like she is under tremendous pressure from her husband and family. She came in to visit with MIL and MIL kept telling her it was time to put the baby up...she's going to spoil him from holding him "so much" (Hello...he's in the NICU, she has to "visit" her baby...she doesn't even get to be with him all the time...how is the few hours she spends with him a day going to spoil him...sadly we hear this crap all the time) She seemed to be open to what we were talking about but I also kind of got the feeling she might have just been telling me what I wanted to hear. *shrugs*

THEN the doctor talks to her. After talking with the Neo....she is now pretty much convinced that she just doesn't make enough milk. The doctors own grandchildren were switched to formula after 5 months and they are "just fine" She also seems to like the fact that she can "schedule" more easily on formula. She values the scheduling aspect more than the breastfeeding aspect apparently. She does not want her child to starve, or lose weight at the cost of breastfeeding, so she has been convinced just putting the kid on formula is the best thing for him. Apperently everything the doctor said, trumps everything several nurses and two LC have told her

I just want to tell her...it's not breastfeeding that's the problem (well we have in so many words). It's the fact you were separated from your baby and stressed out. These things can and will take a toll on you milk supply...but they don't have to result in the end of breastfeeding. I'm really disappointed in the doctor. They seemed to value his opinion over anyone elses and he didn't even encourage her. This baby nurses REALLY good to...never needs to supplement when she nurses him.

I think she's going to just breastfeed and supplement because she is convinced she really needs to supplement.

[MaryJaneLouise]

:cry: Valuing a schedule over BFing.

[nikihodges]

oh man am i gonna get flammed : a little history first...first baby i was 17 tried to bf had a hard time due to nipple issues no support and a TERRIBLE LC....good baby until about 9 months then began waking again at night etc...someone recomended Baby Wise well...we did it and it worked....he slept thru the night took naps and just seemed to be a happier child...3 yr later next baby only bf and co-slept until about 1yr then once again he was crabby and cranky all the time soo we used Baby wise again : well it has been 8 years since my first and now we are on the third baby he is 6 months old and starting the no nap taking unless i hold him crabbiness...thanks to MDC i now know that baby wise is not the way but i don't really know what to do...i have posted this question on the ap board i read dr sears book but baby will sleep for no more than an hour during day and nurses all night on and off...ok with me but he antagonises (sp?) dh till he leaves the bedroom...sooooo mommies anti babywise what do i do to get this little lovey to have good naps? and maybe sleep more soundly in the bed?

[phreedom]

And I will probably get flamed for this as well...but I'm not against EVERYTHING the book talks about(new version). I think saying Ezzo kills babies is a bit dramatic (haven't heard that here...but I've heard it) I just didn't care for the smug tone of it when it talked about the "AP example." I'm not really even AP and I had to roll my eyes at the exaggerated examples.

The problem is when parents take it to extremes as this mother has. She was bound and determined that she was going to breastfeed but she was also going to have a schedule. I suppose it could possibly work, but for goodness sake...don't start it while your kid is in the freaking NICU!

I also noticed that through out the book it would reassure that if BFing didn't work out than go ahead and consult an LC...but beware of those loony AP/LLL types (you know, the ones that "push" things like feeding on demand and show other methods like SNS and finger feeding) It also gave blatantly false BFing advice like feeding a baby more often then every 2-3 hours means he is mostly just getting foremilk and this will result in FTT...It also reassured that if you had to resort to formula...don't feel bad, you tried. Not that I think a mom should feel guilty, but the book just made it seem it was inevitable BF was going to fail.

The few things I did go with was the eat/wake/sleep thing...and I did try to establish a loose routine to help her get in tune with her days and nights. But honestly that stuff just kind of came naturally for us.

It's not really that revolutionary...and I don't think I really needed to spend that money for someone to tell me that. (live and learn) Some babies go with the flow like that and some don't. Not every baby can be "babywised"...just like not every baby is able to sleep well in the parents bed. For the most part I just found it to be a really useless book...but unfortunately some follow it like the Bible.

[~Boudicca~]

::sigh:: I so wish that every mom in the world had the ability to listen to what her intuition (body? heart? gut?) were telling them to take care of their babies, instead of the rest of the world. It happened to me with my first child (I really wish I knew MDC existed then), and now I know better. I have been in that place where you are pressured into what others think is right for your baby, and when you don't have experience or a good support system, it can be disastrous.

I hope that by some chance, this mama will be able to successfully nurse her baby for whatever the long term will be. I am sure that she will realize soon enough that a "schedule" doesn't mean squat to a baby! I hope that she can get into a groove that will work for them that doesn't require the OK from a book.