Baby=bottle to so many (local radio DJ story)

[J2]

Hear this story from one of the DJs on my radio station:

I'm a new mom. My daughter is 3mos old and I am still learning her. I love all the advice I get from anyone as everything is still so new to me. Well, I was at a restaurant and my daughter was tired. When she gets tired she gets hysterical and cries pretty loudly. So I was walking around with her and this lady, a grandma, started to say "Give her a bottle!" over and over. "Give her a bottle! Give her a bottle!" I’m nursing so its kind of hard to just give her a bottle. This was kind of stressing me out because I was already frazzled and kept hearing "Give her a bottle!" So I went outside to try to calm her down. She was tired and not hungry and just needed to sleep. Well the lady followed me out! My friend told her I was nursing so we don’t have a bottle and then the lady said "Well...just give her a bottle!"

LOL Okay, so didn't they already say they don't have a bottle because she is nursing? lol Some people just really don't get it. Not only that, but if she had shoved a bottle in her baby's mouth no one would have cared. But had she nursed, some people may have been perturbed.

*Of course, I think the DJ/mom should have just nursed her to calm her down, but thats a different issue. I'm glad she is still nursing and openly talks about it on the radio!

[phreedom]

And then there are those that just think crying/mildly fussy baby = hungry baby. "Hurry just put something in it's mouth to shut it up!"

[KittyKat]

You know, if you try to shove something in a screaming baby's mouth and they are NOT hungry/wanting to suck, it just makes them scream louder.

Nipples are amazing wonderful things, but sadly they are not a magical cure for EVERYTHING.

[Onemagicmummy]

sumamt similar happend to me with my DD9now 2yr 9mo) was 3 dasy old and we had jsut finished registering her and were on bus home, she started fussingand mebing tiredadn fragile and still in early days wanted to wait till i got home(15 mins max) and a lady looed in the pram and said to DD "oh your hungry had mummy forgotten your bottle" i was like "no shes not bottle fed" lady looked at me like i grown another head adn said "oh well you cant do that here"

DD only got 10 weeks of mummy milk but comment like that made me more determined next time (which was 12 month later) and i fed DS anywhere and everywhere on the bus home etc

the whole "give em a bottle" mentality did my head in tho. i had it a few times with DS2 and i jsut looked at them picked DS up and popped him on and said no need for bottles this is ho whe eats. soon shut em up

Kiz

[lacysmommy]

I can totally relate! My DD2 would not want to nurse at all when she was uber tired. Often it would make it worse. While I never encountered that situation in public I can empathise with her. (Now my 14 month old who wouldn't nurse to sleep when she was tiny will only nurse to sleep now- go figure)

[menomena]

Oooh I hate that situation for many reasons. Feeding a baby ISN'T the magical cure-all; breastfeed babies don't need bottles.

One story about feeding = shutting baby up:
My DD2 also does not like to nurse down - depending on her mood she will either just pop on and off fussy, or she'll actually get hysterical. [See? You CAN'T actually force a baby to nurse. ] We were on a train from Ann Arbor to Chicago and DD2 was fussing. The conductor was coming by to help with luggage and he just kept telling me "you need to feed that baby! that baby is hungry!" OK. My baby is 16.5 lbs at 11 weeks old. I don't think she's starving. I tried to be polite and say she's just tired, but he kept insisting. Finally I said, "well, honestly, she just ate and she doesn't like to nurse to sleep." He said, "she doesn't like to what?" Me: "nurse to sleep. I know. It's crazy; what baby doesn't like to nurse down?" He kind of just made a face and walked away.

One story about randoms assuming all babies need bottles:
I was standing in line at Ace Hardware with DD1 - who was 14 or so months a the time - on my hip. The seemingly nice granny in line behind me struck up a conversation with me, opening with, "so, does she still take a bottle?" : I just replied that she is breastfed and doesn't take a bottle. The woman looked like you could knock her over with a feather. She started mumbling something about bottles and feeding and babies, so I continued, telling her how my DD had only ever taken a few bottles in her life. She told me that I had to be near my baby all the time for that. I replied with a huge smile and said, "yep, I love to be with my daughter, so it works out great." She literally turned away from me to end the conversation. Heh.

I actually live (for 3 more days) in a super crunchy town. Most of the moms I run into, everyone just assumes everyone else nurses. Even well into toddlerhood. In fact, in my circle of a dozen or so friends, just about every one has tandem nursed to some degree. I live in a nice bubble.

[Juliacat]

When my daughter was six weeks old we were sitting in the ICU waiting room when my dad was in the hospital and she started crying. I turned her over and started patting her back, and an older man said, "Give her a bottle! That baby needs a bottle!" I finally said, "She doesn't take a bottle," and he said, "Well, you'd better start giving her one!"

[napua]

I will say that 99% of the time nursing will make my son happy no matter what the problem is....but there is always the chance that it may be that time that it just won't work.

I hate to hear people suggest I give Miles a bottle. For one thing he is almost 15 months old..: He hasn't taken bottles of EBM since he got out of the NICU at 3 weeks old. He has absolutely NO interest in anything other than my breast. Some people just DO NOT understand that not all babies will take a pacifier or bottle.

[Emmeline II]

This week I was at the self checkout and the attendent (19ish) kept comming over to play with dd 13mo, and said a couple of times that dd's doll needed a bottle. The second time I said "she doesn't know what a bottle is."

*crickets*

[phreedom]

My mom tells me that I am somehow stunting my childs development by not giving her bottles on a regular basis (she gets maybe one or 2 a week and we are trying to wean her to a cup). She insists that she will never learn how to hold one. (she knows how to hold one just fine...I just don't let her feed herself...she sometimes will try to hold it while sitting in daddy's lap)

I just tell her that since I don't really plan on her using a bottle into adulthood, I don't think bottle holding is a necessary life skill.

[rachellanigh]

This reminded me of a conversation I had with my Grandma the other day...."Is he taking a bottle now?" Me..nope he'll nurse for at least a year Grandma (and hopefully much longer).

Also, maybe that baby isn't a "comfort nurser". Sometimes when my little one is tired he will not nurse no matter how much I try..of course he eats quite frequently but sometimes he just doesn't want to nurse to sleep.

[napua]

Originally Posted by i'mmykid'$mom

This week I was at the self checkout and the attendent (19ish) kept comming over to play with dd 13mo, and said a couple of times that dd's doll needed a bottle. The second time I said "she doesn't know what a bottle is."

*crickets*

Ah, that is so cute! I wish I could have seen her face.

[eclipse]

The same thing hapened to me on an airplane when DS1 was about 6 1/2 months old. He was, unfortunately, having a rough flight. He was tired, cranky, hungry, and not liking the airplane environment well enough to dettle down and nurse well. This old lady behind m must have asked me 20 times where his bottle was. Even when I said over and over that I was nursing, she asked the freaking flight attendant if SHE had an "extra" bottle for my baby. I finally told her that if she just left me the heck alone I migh be abel to calm my baby down instead of dealing with her.

[Momma2SoSweet]

How frustrating. I hate that some people assume that all babies must take a bottle.

My dd is almost 11 months old and took a bottle once (seriously, for one feeding) at 4 weeks old. She didn't really take it very well either. The other day I went shopping with my mom and step dad and dd was fussing in her carseat and wanted to nurse. So I scooted to the edge of the seat and popped my boob in her mouth. (Step dad was driving and I was sitting behind him.) My mom says "Are you feeding her?" I sad "Yep, she was hungry." Step dad says "When are you going to start giving her a bottle??" I was dumbfounded. : I said "Never. What does she need a bottle for? She has a boob. She doesn't even know how to use a bottle."

Then my mom chimes in with "She's not using bottles. Tami is weaning her to a sippy cup."

It took all I had not to laugh at that statement. Sure, dd uses sippy cups, but I'm sure as heck not "weaning her" to them. My breasts don't squirt out water, so that's the only reason she uses that sippy. She'll probably be off sippy cups before she weans from the breast.

[BCFD]

I can't believe some of these stories. Good grief. You know, I don't think it's just a nursing/breastfeeding thing. My kids are adopted so they have all used bottles. Every single stinkin' time my baby (and other kids when they were infants) cries my MIL says, "She's hungry". Even if I just fed her 20 minutes ago she will INSIST with, "I don't know..it sounds like she's hungry!" Also, she is constantly trying to put things in her mouth (food, cell phone, her glasses, you name it!) and it drives me nuts!!

[melissakc]

The grandma is losing it.

[DandeCobb]

i deluding myslef into thinking i would actually start scrapbooking a few months ago and went to get baby themed stuff, ALL the packs of baby stuff features very prominent baby bottles, well i am certainly not putting bottles in my as yet to be mnade scrapbook!

[alison77]

this issue frustrates me as well, but i wanted to add a thought about all these issues about bottle-focused older women - when these women were having their babies, the breastfeeding rate was very low - from personal conversations i've learned that most women were just given medication not to lactate by their doctors (without real informed consent) - breastfeeding just wasn't common for a lot of people during that time period. makes me think that these people are just products of their time.

[mommy2caroline]

Originally Posted by DandeCobb

i deluding myslef into thinking i would actually start scrapbooking a few months ago and went to get baby themed stuff, ALL the packs of baby stuff features very prominent baby bottles, well i am certainly not putting bottles in my as yet to be mnade scrapbook!

You noticed this, too? And the other day, I was looking through all the gift bags I got at showers when pregnant w/ dd (trying to find one to reuse), and several of them had bottles and pacifiers on them. Let's start marketing scrapbook stickers and gift bags with breasts on them .

[Beckula]

I complain about this all the time. I work at Michael's as a casheir and sometimes i just want to scream at the ladies who buy the bottle shaped baby shower favors "NOT ALL BABIES USE BOTTLES!!!!" I've even said it to my co-workers about how it drives me crazy and they look at me like I'm nuts. Thye scrapbooking stickers are rediculous, why do they feel the need to show what the babies are eating from anyway? A bottle is just a container, not a symbol for babies. I definatly would bye the scrapbooking stickers with boobs on them, maybe i'd actually finish one for once.