UGHHHHHH! The five year old

[pilllowhead]

I have been counting my lucky stars, thinking of all the younger ones you guys have and how hard it can be and only today, 4 1/2 weeks after Greta came has it hit me/Oscar that he is a big brother. Until today he was still an only child as his father has been his care-giver and not left him alone. He went to Wales to help with the silage yesterday and Oscar has, in my humble, tired, irritated opinion been awful. I know I need to try to be understanding, put him first sometimes in the day, keep the boundaries but when you hit your baby sister with a penny in a sling shot, do things again and again after just having been told to stop and give those definant "NO" responses, you are just asking for trouble. I keep threatening him with not going on our family holiday to Ireland and I hate doing that! I don't like to threaten at all and only do it when I've lost it. Well I have. I hope tomorrow is easier, I'll try not to mention Ireland, I'll try not to hide in the computer room from him, but at this point in time, just right now, this evening, having not gotten used to it, I can't wait for school to start again!!!!!

[sleet76]

I feel your frustration! Hang in there!!

[trmpetplaya]

I was 5 years old when my baby brother was born. Before that, I was an only child. Having had that experience was my main reason for wanting my children to be much closer in age... or much further apart (but I can't wait that long )

A lot of what I felt and had a hard time dealing with was due to a lack of information and misunderstandings on my part... I had been begging my parents for a younger sibling for years. When I imagined a younger sibling, I imagined a *sister* about two years younger than I was at the time who I could play with fairly soon after birth.

My parents, not knowing about my expectations, didn't really get a chance to dispel the myth I had built up for myself before my brother was born. When I discovered that not only was my sibling a BOY, but he was tiny and wouldn't be able to play (what I thought of as playing) for a couple of years, I was devastated. Not only that, but I was used to getting all of my parents' attention and wasn't getting it anymore.

So... it's very hard for him too. Although he is older, he still may not be old enough to grasp exactly why you aren't giving him the attention he's used to. He definitely isn't old enough to understand why you're frustrated with him and patience really is of the essence right now.

I'm dealing with the same thing with my 21 month old dd, except in different ways. I've been so frustrated with her lately, but then I have to stop and remember that she's just a child (not in a derogatory sense) and really not much more than a baby herself. Your son is much older, but he is used to being your baby still and it's hard to let go of that. He needs you to be patient with him now more than ever before, and if he's anything like I was then he also needs you to be there for him as much as possible.

Best wishes! It's not easy for us or for them Take care of yourself. That's the hardest thing for me to do, but it definitely has made a difference wrt how I react towards my older daughter.

love and peace.

[bdavis337]

You know, my 6 yo went through the sibling addition when he was 4, and it wasn't nearly as hard for him then as it has been this time around. He's really difficult to deal with now. I too am counting the days until school starts!

[pilllowhead]

Thanks for the reminder Trumpetplaya! Today was much better, but still not a walk in the park! I do find it hard to remember just how young he actually he is, especially as he is so verbose, talking above his age and has my stubborn streak I will be happy when school resumes but it does all sort of remind me how big he's getting, his hands feel so big. At least it's nice for him to see the baby and know that he was held and cooed at and fed like she is when he was little and I try to remind him of it too.