Mamas pregnant with #3 (or #4, 5, 6, etc) ?

[celestialdreamer]

Hi!

I'm expecting #3 in April and I'd love to chat with other mamas who already have 2 or more little ones at home. I have a feeling this is going to be a whole new challenge... I'm a little overwhelmed at the idea of taking care of my 2 little ones, keeping up with the house and being pregnant. I had really bad m/s the whole pregnancy last time and I'm wondering if maybe some of you might have some good ideas about how to keep your home running smoothly (or do I just give up now? ) while not feeling great. I'm still really looking forward to it, even though I know it will be chaotic. Even if you don't have any ideas, feel free to say hi, and we can keep each other company

~Rebecca

[Meche]

Rebecca,

I could have written your post! (Except for the m/s part, I usually get some relief in the second tri, sorry to hear you don't.) I have two DDs, ages 4 & 7, who both have school and other activities. I am already sooooo EXHAUSTED that I only want to lie down and forget all the housework, cooking, etc. I worked yesterday (attended a great birth) and now I am struggling to recover from the early a.m. wake-up call (she called me at 2:30 am!). I hope I can at least have enough energy to do the minimum... dh is going to have to get off WOW and help out for a while!

BTW, congrats to you!

[celestialdreamer]

Originally Posted by Meche

Rebecca,

I could have written your post! (Except for the m/s part, I usually get some relief in the second tri, sorry to hear you don't.) I have two DDs, ages 4 & 7, who both have school and other activities. I am already sooooo EXHAUSTED that I only want to lie down and forget all the housework, cooking, etc. I worked yesterday (attended a great birth) and now I am struggling to recover from the early a.m. wake-up call (she called me at 2:30 am!). I hope I can at least have enough energy to do the minimum... dh is going to have to get off WOW and help out for a while!

BTW, congrats to you!

Oh man, I can't even imagine that! I thought about getting my doula certification but decided against it until my kids are older just for that reason. I have a computer loving DH too and I can relate to that part. I'm amazed at how quickly the fatigue set in this time. My house is a complete disaster right now : You are one brave mama to being doing all that you are! Congrats to you too.

[3for3hb]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one exhausted and preoccupied with thinking about how I'm going to handle it!!! My concern is that we are already squished into a 2 bedroom apartment and our lease doesn't end until next summer. I just need to focus on right now and not think about when there will be three

May I suggest flylady? i think it's flylady.com or .net

She has helped me understand housework in terms of a little bit at a time all the time helps keep up so you never really have a mountain of housework to do. Her basics are keeping the kitchen sink shiny (so wash dishes as they are dirtied), pick up the "hot spots" in the house for 2 minutes a day (places that normally accumulate clutter, wipe down the bathroom (seriously only takes a minute each day) and do a load of laundry a day. She may have a couple more suggestions but that's what I do. She also has an organization system planned out so you can focus on a different area of the house each week and month etc. You can get pep emails sent to you to help encourage you to stay on top of housework and not let it overwhelm you. When I follow the routine, we get to our weekend and the house is relatively clean. When I don't, we get to the weekend and all we do is clean. And then I feel like such a failure.

[3for3hb]

I've wanted to add that a mother who had her children spaced as closely as mine told me that the third was the hardest in terms of having two very small children to attend to (you know how you can't exactly leave a 3 1/2 year old and an almost two year old alone!!!) while you are pg and then suddenly a newborn gets thrown into the equation.
I'm looking into preschool for my three year old. I just don't want to shell out the extra $. Even two mornings a week would really help out. There are no free programs around here and all the preschools that would come close to serving his needs (he really needs structure) either have a waiting list or cost more a month than our rent!
So it's just wait and see for now.

[celestialdreamer]

I've done flylady before and I have the Motivated Moms planner. I was doing kind of a hybrid of the 2 before this last month. I've been so busy and now I'm so tired that I can't seem to find the motivation. I'm just going to aim low until I get caught up and then start up one of those programs (probably flylady). Today my only goals are to clean the kitchen (giant disaster, there was no hot water to do dishes last night- DH emptied the hot water tank), to fold 3 loads of laundry and then to run a quick vacuum over the floor. I'd probably feel less overwhelmed if I got off MDC and actually did that stuff

[celestialdreamer]

Originally Posted by willemsmamma

I've wanted to add that a mother who had her children spaced as closely as mine told me that the third was the hardest in terms of having two very small children to attend to (you know how you can't exactly leave a 3 1/2 year old and an almost two year old alone!!!) while you are pg and then suddenly a newborn gets thrown into the equation.
I'm looking into preschool for my three year old. I just don't want to shell out the extra $. Even two mornings a week would really help out. There are no free programs around here and all the preschools that would come close to serving his needs (he really needs structure) either have a waiting list or cost more a month than our rent!
So it's just wait and see for now.

Yeah, I suppose that really could be the truth. I know a few people with 3 who said the 3rd was actually the easiest to add in because they were already used to juggling the first 2. For me going from 1 to 2 was extremely hard because of some stuff my dd was going through (required 3x week therapies, etc) right as he was a newborn. We won't be going through that this time and I think that if I have a good household routine down beforehand that it will go more smoothly.

ETA: I do have one trick up my sleeve that might help you. Can you set up one bedroom as a "playroom" if you don't already have one? We did that and have it completely safe for the kids. So I can cook, clean, etc and let them play in there without having to be in there every second to watch. Its also much easier to just shut the door on the toy chaos then have to pick them up from all over the house

[KariM]

I'm pregnant with #3, but not quite in your situation.

My first will be 16 this month, but I am fretting over having 2 little ones to care for! I've only had one at a time before.

[rubyeta]

im pregnant with #4. although my boys are a little older 8&11 i also have a 1 yr old DD. I am trying to get as much done now before m/s kicks in. I am also trying to get over the fact that some things will just not get done. I have had honest discussions with dh and we realize that we need to really work together (meaning he needs to help me more) eaven though he works hard out of the home. "Quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep. I am rocking my baby, and babies dont keep"

[jsnv]

I think I qualify for this club. This is baby #4 and my oldest just turned 5.: I try not to lay down at all, that just seems to make things worse. A nap sounds like a good idea but for me it just makes me more tired...

I'll write more later, they just dumped a very cold cup of water in my lap.:

[celestialdreamer]

Originally Posted by jsnv

I think I qualify for this club. This is baby #4 and my oldest just turned 5.: I try not to lay down at all, that just seems to make things worse. A nap sounds like a good idea but for me it just makes me more tired...

I'll write more later, they just dumped a very cold cup of water in my lap.:

Oh mama! You are most definitely in this club You made me giggle with your last sentence, I can so relate.

My 3 yo doesn't nap anymore and tries to keep the 16 mo from napping, so it gets pretty grumpy here by about 5pm. : My priority right now is getting my kids back into a better sleeping routine because I know *I* am going to need it!

[lillieandnicole]

I have number 3 brewing as well
I have a 2.5 year old and a
1 year old
they are 18mths apart and know we will have 22mths apart

Oh the joy of 3 under 4

I have super bad morning sickness throughout my preg. so I am looking for ways to stay in the game this time, as much as possible.

[lillieandnicole]

Originally Posted by celestialdreamer

Yeah, I suppose that really could be the truth. I know a few people with 3 who said the 3rd was actually the easiest to add in because they were already used to juggling the first 2. For me going from 1 to 2 was extremely hard because of some stuff my dd was going through (required 3x week therapies, etc) right as he was a newborn. We won't be going through that this time and I think that if I have a good household routine down beforehand that it will go more smoothly.

ETA: I do have one trick up my sleeve that might help you. Can you set up one bedroom as a "playroom" if you don't already have one? We did that and have it completely safe for the kids. So I can cook, clean, etc and let them play in there without having to be in there every second to watch. Its also much easier to just shut the door on the toy chaos then have to pick them up from all over the house

This is a great suggestion. I do this with my two. I have trained them since like 6 mths old to have quiet time together and apart. My guestroom is also a playroom. when I put the youngest down for her morning nap, my oldest has about an hour of quiest time. It took us a little while to get to an hour but it really helps her mood. It gives her some time to play alone and learn that skill.

[jsnv]

Originally Posted by lillieandnicole

I have number 3 brewing as well
I have a 2.5 year old and a
1 year old
they are 18mths apart and know we will have 22mths apart

Oh the joy of 3 under 4

ds & dd 17 months apart

dd & ds2 23 months apart

ds2 & new baby will be 2.5years apart~~seems like such a huge gap for my dh and me

[quarteralien]

My ds turned 3 last month and my dd is 17 months. So my first gap was 20 months, and this one will be 25 months. Can't wait! I fortunately don't get very sick. I only threw up once with each previous pregnancy and I'm too tired yet. It'll come, I'm sure.
I'm glad this thread showed up. Seemed like there were a lot of first timers here. Not that that's bad, it's just good to connect to others like myself.

[dot2dot]

Wow. I am so glad I am not alone! So far I have done okay with meals by writing out a weekly menu. Then when I am too tired to think I just have to follow whatever I had written down. Everything else? am trying to stay on top of things but I really want to just go hide under my covers!

Yesterday I called dh towards the end of the day to see how much longer he was going to be. He asked if things were alright and I said, yes, but they just want to talk to me all the time, and touch me, and play with me, in my best whiny voice. I love them to pieces but by the end of the day the "Hey, Mama!" every five seconds was driving me bonkers. (To accentuate that point, I just heard, "Hey Mama! Come look at this poop!" Seriously? ) I feel bad that I am not the fun on top of things Mama that I usually try to be. I hope that they don't remember these days as being boring, and I hope that this tiredness and general uckiness I am feeling passes quickly.

[rmzbm]

How did I miss THIS thread?! I'm expecting #5.

[Cutie Patootie]

I have a ds, who turned 4 at the end of July...dd, who turned 2 at the end of May...and this is baby #3. Ds and dd are 22 months apart. This baby will be 35 months, almost 3 years, from dd. It seems like such a huuuuuuge span. My 2yo dd is every bit the 2yo you hear about and dread. Into everything...dumping, pouring and a general whirlwind of disaster. : I am so happy she will be nearly a year older when this baby is born. She is the sweetest thing though, and she is going to try to take over this baby when it's born. :

ETA: I am still in shock that I get to be part of this 3 and up club.

[celestialdreamer]

Originally Posted by Cutie Patootie

ETA: I am still in shock that I get to be part of this 3 and up club.

I know the feeling! I remember seeing one on my last DDC club and thinking "WOW, those ladies must be busy!" :

[momtoafireteam]

I am pregnant with #5 in five years. My oldest is 4, I have 2 yr old twins and an 11 month old. Honestly, I was SOOOO scared about #4 because my twins were 4 mos old when I got pregnant with her (Intentionally, btw...), and it was so so so nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. She just slipped into our routine so nicely. Looking back I realise how much time I wasted worrying and worrying about her arrival for no reason. So now I just feel calm and know it will all work.