Babyshower Blues Already!

[newmom80]

I am afraid of my baby shower! (not that one is planned yet, but I have a big family and we always do big baby showers for first time moms)

I want to have a shower after the baby is born (which isn't uncommon in my family), so that all my relatives I don't see as often as I want to can see the baby. But I don't want to be pressured to register at a big store because I won't do it! I hate big stores and hate generic, mass produce items made in third world countries. I like handmade or crunchy items, but I don't know how to convey that to my family in a kind way.

And to be honest, I don't want or need much stuff. I don't want crib stuff, strollers, dvds, bouncers, walkers, loud flashing toys, disposable diapers and wipes, etc.

I just fear everyone will buy me things from Wal-Mart, and if that happens, I won't even go in the store to make returns because I don't want the store credit. I guess worse case scenario I would donate all the stuff to our local shelter, but my relatives aren't rich, so I do want to be appreciative of what they buy me.

So what does a person who is green and crunchy do about a big family baby shower? (Sadly, no one in my family sees life like I do.)

[Ironica]

First of all, you can register here:

http://www.felicite.com/

And then include your favorite wraps and slings, some cloth diapers, handmade organic clothes... whatever suits your fancy.

You can pick out your carseat, find the store you want to get it at, and ask for gift cards toward the purchase... or register for it and hint that several folks could go in on it. (This only works *before* baby's born, though, obviously ;-) so may not work... but we just registered for our carseat, and a friend of the family who has the money went ahead and got it for us.)

I have a memory of telling people we were going to be using cloth diapers and EC, and weren't going to use a stroller, so keep that in mind... but I don't remember *how* we communicated that. We may have had the hostess include the info in the invites, or put it on our own website, or something.

Good luck! If people can't respect your wishes, that's too bad.

[Organicavocado]

Also thingsiwant.com, you can choose anything online and list what color you want etc., I register everything there.

[apriljoy]

There's also kaboodle.com, although I have to say that, if your family is anything like my dh's, they will pay no attention to your online registry, opting instead to buy whatever they would've gotten you in the first place. I would definitely try to get the word out that you're planning to parent your baby in ___________ manner, and maybe let people know specific items that you won't need (like a stroller, bottles, etc).

Another idea that I really like is having a themed party. If you're planning to use cloth diapers, what better way to get lots of different styles of fluff to try out on the new baby? Books would be a nice choice, too. Good luck!

[apriljoy]

(Those in my family were well aware of my parenting/lifestyle choices. I decided that they knew better than to buy me things like walkers and cutesy baby clothes. I told them that, if they get me something they're pretty sure I'm not planning to use, I reserved the right to return/exchange/regift it without feeling guilty. *evil laughter* )

[newmom80]

Books are a great idea. I know everybody has access to buying books. I am thinking maybe a babyshower invitation that just reads something like:

Please come and celebrate the arrival of newborn baby boy/girl with us!. The only gift that's requested is your presence, but if you wish to bring something more, we would love for you to share your favorite children's book with him/her.

I'm sure I could make it sound even nicer if I thought about it longer! It would be great if I can get people to sign them with a few words to the baby too inside the cover.

Thanks for the ideas. I don't think an online registry is going to do much for me. Most of my family members are elderly, don't have computers, don't even know how to use computers, and won't have more than $10 or $20 to spend. That's why I want to gently prod them towards things I like - so that their money is well spent and their gift can be treasured by our child for a lifetime. I still have the old handmade dress my grandma made me to come home from the hospital. I plan to photo my daughter in it when I have one!

[Ironica]

I vaguely remember going to a baby shower where the hosts had bought a whole pile of children's books, and asked the guests to pick one out to inscribe for the baby. It was a really neat idea! (I wish I could remember whose it was...)

[Pohuehue]

Check out http://www.alternativegiftregistry.org/
You can give explanations and links to what you'd like...Lots of good ideas in the sample baby registry they have too.
Good luck!

[GISDiva]

I am SO with you! I was wondering the exact same thing, so I'm so glad you asked and so many of you have great responses! I'm relieved that there is an alternative - I wouldn't want to turn down gifts that we might very well need, but I don't want what a lot of the big box stores are selling either. (Not to mention that I'd be perfectly happy if someone found something we wanted at the second-hand store or garage sale.)