"What's the big deal! Everybody turns out fine..

[dex_millie]

whether the BFed or FFed". It everybody choice what they want to do(which is true, but do we think on what is best for the baby: It's always what I want: )
"Who say exclusively extended BFing doesn't damage children".
"Not everyone could BFed(which is true) and then talks about a friend who "couldn't breastfeed mentally" because her breast is for her boyfriend and she gets turned on by them so she can't have a baby sucking on it " "Formula and Brestmilk is both for babies so we can choose, we all come out fine. " "Your mother FF and you fine, right?":

I have decided to not really talk about this subject with my SIL, I don't like to talk much w/ people who refuse to do their own research and realize not everything your mom did was the best(in terms of how to feed baby and when and what). She doesn't have children yet - maybe within the next year they might start to try(FWIW she does plan on breastfeeding but only until 6-8months and then giving the baby KLIM: ):

I guess, I'll just wait until she have children and see if she will change her mind. Not sure what I meant this thread to be about, just don't have ANYONE that feels the same about breastfeeding as I do.

[JamSamMom]

I know how you feel. I come from a FF background and I was FF and all of my cousins, sister and husband was FF. We all did trun out fine! So I am not getting a lot of support with EPing since I have had mastitis 5 times in a three month period. MY family acts like I am crazy and should go to the doctor and get "medicine to dry up my breast milk." Gee what a great idea especially since the doctors don't give medicine to dry up breastmilk anymore. I am very annoyed and do not want to discuss it with them.
My family is so nosey I wish they would mind their own business.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by dex_millie

I have decided to not really talk about this subject with my SIL, I don't like to talk much w/ people who refuse to do their own research and realize not everything your mom did was the best(in terms of how to feed baby and when and what). She doesn't have children yet - maybe within the next year they might start to try(FWIW she does plan on breastfeeding but only until 6-8months and then giving the baby KLIM: ):

I guess, I'll just wait until she have children and see if she will change her mind. Not sure what I meant this thread to be about, just don't have ANYONE that feels the same about breastfeeding as I do.

Perhaps give her "So That's What They're For" and "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" before discussing it further.

[dex_millie]

If only she would read. She HATES to read. She rather sit in front a TV.

[phreedom]

Eh I know what you mean. My DD is 10 months old and a few family members get skeeved by it. I mean just the IDEA of it.

Just the other day I was at my grandmothers house and we were getting ready to go out to eat and DD was getting hungry. I was saving the solids for when we go eat. I just said I was going to go in the back room to feed her I'll be back (she gets distracted easily and yanks off the breast...it hurts). Anyway I can hear my uncle wondering out loud why I needed to leave the room to feed my DD.

My mom tells him I'm nursing her for now before we go out to eat to "hold her off until I can feed her some real food" (baby food in a jar). She seems very sheepish about the whole thing. He then proceeds to loudly cut her off mid sentence by saying "OKAY, OKAY that's enough I don't need to know any more!" (basically the equivalent of a small kid holding their hands over thier ears saying "lalalalalala" : ) The man is 43 years old. Meanwhile I'm hearing all of this and just rolling my eyes.

When I come out my 15 years old cousin is giggling. She picks up my DD and says "Awww....I'm so sorry baby...hopefully you won't remember any of this" (more giggling". Apparently I'm causing her mental trauma by BFing her "still" says the 15 y/o shrink. I just looked at her like she was a dipshit...and said "Really...you believe that. Interesting" I would also like to mention that this is the same girl who would take baths with her parents up until she was 8. Apparently nudity isn't a huge deal...but BFing is traumatic. (I'm not saying that taking a bath with parents at 8 is that big of a deal...but I do think it goes beyond many peoples comfort levels...I would even say moreso than BFing a 10 months old)

The only person who even remotely defended BFing was my 70 y/o grandmother who said that I'm am doing the right thing by still BFing my daughter. Then went off to name a few benefits of BFing followed by "I saw it on the news a few months ago" (She even called my to reassure me that it was okay that I was still BFing her) Apparently the fact I'm a neonatal nurse, have attended numerous classes on the subject just as part of my job and have a healthy, smart 10 month old isnt' enough to believe it....but whatever.

Then of course every chimes in with the eyerolling and the "Well we were FF and so were my children and we turned out just fine..." All this without me even saying anything besides what I said to my cousin. They are automatically on the defense about it. I don't even worry about it any more.

[grumpyshoegirl]

Well, there's two issues here. The first is that yeah, many people DO turn out fine, but NOT EVERYONE does. I live near a nuclear plant (about 10-15 miles away). I don't have cancer, and most people I know don't. But that's not justification for them not to have safeguards at the plant or even close it down-- the cancer rates around here are higher than normal. My husband was FF'd, is overweight, has sleep apnea and high cholesterol. All things that are less common in people who were breastfed as babies.

The second is that is "just fine" what we're really going for here? Don't we owe it to our children to give them the BEST that we can? We're not talking about spending a million dollars for some super-secret-premium product here. We're talking about something that well over 95% of women CAN do if they put in the effort (and FWIW, I have three close friends who DO have supply problems and have to supplement, and they're some of the most militant lactivists I know), costs almost nothing, and in the long run is way more convenient. The problem, mention here so many time by so many posters, is that very few of us expect "excellence" in other areas of life. "Acceptable" in a job performance review means you keep your job and may even get a raise; you can get a college degree with a 2.0 GPA; driving tests and other licensing exams are pass/fail; only-ok credit means you can still get a mortgage.

[dex_millie]

Originally Posted by grumpyshoegirl

Well, there's two issues here. The first is that yeah, many people DO turn out fine, but NOT EVERYONE does. I live near a nuclear plant (about 10-15 miles away). I don't have cancer, and most people I know don't. But that's not justification for them not to have safeguards at the plant or even close it down-- the cancer rates around here are higher than normal. My husband was FF'd, is overweight, has sleep apnea and high cholesterol. All things that are less common in people who were breastfed as babies.

The second is that is "just fine" what we're really going for here? Don't we owe it to our children to give them the BEST that we can? We're not talking about spending a million dollars for some super-secret-premium product here. We're talking about something that well over 95% of women CAN do if they put in the effort (and FWIW, I have three close friends who DO have supply problems and have to supplement, and they're some of the most militant lactivists I know), costs almost nothing, and in the long run is way more convenient. The problem, mention here so many time by so many posters, is that very few of us expect "excellence" in other areas of life. "Acceptable" in a job performance review means you keep your job and may even get a raise; you can get a college degree with a 2.0 GPA; driving tests and other licensing exams are pass/fail; only-ok credit means you can still get a mortgage.

Sometimes I want to mention some of the things above. Like I hear the same people say I want to gave my child the best education, dress them up the best - with cute shoes, ect.. But you don't want to give them the best nutrition start in life: Because it is too much of a sacrifice for YOU: Because your Breast are for YOUR man: She told me "BFing a 1 year old + is gross, disturbing"(not to mention her mother BFed her until she was about 2!:

Personally everything they/she tell me I just hear it as ME, I, MY WANTS not this is best for my baby. It does drive me up the wall when I hear such ignorance about it.:

[bbrandonsmom]

I just have to say that for people who tell me that they turned out "just fine", like my family or so, I tell them I would prob be healthier-you never know.Or maybe they would be healthier? So I'm thankful that I can/am able to bf my ds to give him the best start I can.

[MilkTrance]

My first point is that we DONT really know that "everybody turns out fine." It's quite possible that the rise in cancers, immune disorders, gastro-intestinal problems, obesity, etc., is related to poor nutrition in infancy. Most doctors readily admit a lack or absence of training in nutrition.

My second point is that something turning out "fine" does not justify wrongdoing at the start. A flippant comment such as "everybody turns out fine" is often used to justify poor or selfish decisions.

[isabel rose]

I sometimes feel like I'm bashing my head against a brick wall, people seem to think the difference between FF & BF are like the difference between Coke & Diet Pepsi...

I just think- why on earth would you not feed your baby the custom-made food which is specifically for them by your body if you possibly can? Maybe it's great Formula was invented for those women who've had cancer or other illnesses, and who can't BF... or maybe it's not -before FF people were more open to the idea of wet-nursing but now most women would prefer to have anonymous reformed cows' milk feed their baby than have another woman do it...

I think if I had to watch another woman put my child to her breast I'd feel like a failure as a mother, but I'd feel more guilty if I gave them FF which lacks so much of what makes BM the best option. There's also the option of having better milk-banks.

BUT I agree it's a woman's right to choose, it's her body after all. But the choice should be made with the knowledge of what she's giving up.

If people feed their children only fast-food & they turn out obese & malnourished society expects them to feel guilty, and burdens them with the responsibilty, & yet, if a FF baby has asthma, ecsema, grows up obese & with allergies, society thinks it is WRONG to burden the mother with the responsibilty... it all seems a bit hypocritical
KWIM?

Also, if you feed past 6months, 9months,12months, 20months -there seem to be many ages- "you're doing it more for yourself that the child"... BUT this is usually from women who stopped feeding because "I wanted my body back" !!! If someone has the patience & the willingness to BF a child for 7 years then good on them! I probably won't because I don't have the patience, but I will say I stopped for me(because I'm selfish & tired), and good for women who do longer!

[julie128]

"If formula is so great, why are formula fed babies 27% more likely to die than breastfed babies?"

If you want an article for that stat, I can pm it to you.