homeschool vs public school this year-what do you think?

[goylesgirl]

Hi, facing a little bit of a dillema this year. I have been homeschooling my son for the past two years and it has gone pretty well, but there are things I wish were a little different. My son is 11, his two sisters are almost 4 and 2. Not only is hard for me to spend as much time as I want with him, the age difference makes it difficult to entertain everyone equally. I kill myself trying to keep the girls engaged when there are activities Elijah might be interested in and when I do things for the younger ones, my son is generally bored stiff.
My biggest problem with this is (here comes the s-word) ...socialization for my son.

The area we live in is not very condusive for my son to go hang out with other kids. However, he has made some very good friends from cub scouts over the years. Unfortunately that is coming to an end, as he has found boy scouts to not be as much fun. I am afraid he will lose touch with his friends as I am not very good at making and keping playdates. This year, his friends will be starting middle school up the street from us and it is likely that I could get my son into the same class as them as they are experimenting with sex segregated classrooms and need more boys.

My son is a very creative and sensitive child. He is also very socially oriented. He loves hanging out with his friends and, as picky as I am, I think his friends are great. They are also very creative and intelligent and are very positive for him.

I feel like there are so many reasons for homeschooling, but am I depriving him in this very important area that I am having difficulty providing by not sending him to school?

[Lillian J]

From what you say, it would be my inclination to lean in the direction of school for him. I've seen social life to be very, very important to boys that age. And if the social life at school doesn't feel good to him, he can always go back to homeschooling. But I'd make a huge effort first to get busy with your local homeschooling group or groups - and to go out of your way to make and keep play dates on a very regular basis. I've seen it work quite well for families that have such widespread ages - by getting together with lots of other homeschoolers in a variety of fun activities. But it takes determination, sometimes some work, and making the most out of all opportunities. Lillian

[Ruthla]

Are there any other homeschoolers in your area? Could you get together with them for socialization?

Is it possible for DS to socialize with the schooled kids without actually attending school? Could he join them after school and on weekends for other activities or just "hanging out"? Could you help organize something formal-ish for the kids to get together outside the school setting- are you close enough to the school for the boys to walk over after school?

What does your DS think about all this? Does he want to go to school, or would he prefer to be at home again?

What were your original reasons for homeschooling him? Are those reasons still valid? Do you feel like you've accomplished what you wanted from HS and now he's ready to return to school? Or do you feel that school would be detrimental to him in some way?

[onlyzombiecat]

I would let your ds choose.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat

I would let your ds choose.

Yes - me too! I assumed he'd already said he wanted to go to school, but maybe not. - Lillian

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Is it possible for DS to socialize with the schooled kids without actually attending school? Could he join them after school and on weekends for other activities or just "hanging out"? Could you help organize something formal-ish for the kids to get together outside the school setting- are you close enough to the school for the boys to walk over after school?

We did a lot of that, and that kept my son satisfied most of the time over the years. At other times, I just kept beating the bushes for other opportunities. I created a little science club, for instance, that met at our house once a week. Two other moms brought their families, and everyone played before and after the science experiments. Each boy - there were four - brought everything needed for an experiment to share each week. The moms stayed out of it except to help with the equipment, supplies, etc. - and food, of course. Lillian

[kathymuggle]

I don't know....I think middle school can be very hard on kids-it is the last time I would elect to send my kids to school. The fact that he is sensitive make me even less inclined.

However, if he wants to go to school (and is asking to go) best to let him as long as he understands the homeschooling door is open, and that school is a trial -run sort of thing.

Kathy

[goylesgirl]

I have asked my son what he wants to do several times and never really gotten a straight answer from him. He likes homeschooling, but also likes hanging out with his friends. I have tried connecting with other homeschoolers in the area, but had a hard time finding kids his age. Schooled kids in the area always seem to have such busy schedules, and to top it off, being social is really hard for me if I have to go out of my way. I tend to get way to focused on my immediate surroundings.

I know the only reason he would choose is to be with his friends and I am not sure that is enough reason for me-trying to let go can be hard. I know I can be protective and I remember how hard middle school can be.

We started homeschooling for social and educational reasons. He was a straight A student, but he was bored and very unhappy. His self esteem has increased amazingly and he has started to become more self directed, which I am afraid of slipping if he returns to school. Although very creative, loves having guidelines and strives to please others.

[Lillian J]

I can't help but think you're both stuck between a rock and a hard spot if you want to keep him home but aren't going to make a strong effort to change your own tendencies in order to facilitate his social needs. It does take effort, and it does take personal compromise - it can even take sacrifice. It can be hard for some moms who find it hard to socialize, but it's just one of those things that sometimes have to be done. I think that his having friends would be reason enough to let him go to school if he should want to - friends are a pretty big deal at that age. If you can't help provide for that outside of school, he might be able to do what he can to make it happen within school. Middle school may indeed be very hard for him at times, but it might feel worth it to him to have the chance to try to make it work. - Lillian

[goylesgirl]

update

After some long family discussions, I think we are going to continue homeschooling and just try to make the extra effort to socialize more. The benefits of homeschooling cannot be matched at public school, where as I can at least try to provide the aspect of a positive social group that he might get from school. I feel he is getting old enough to begin doing certain things on his own that might help take the pressure off of me, also I think I will try and explain my situation to his friends parents and maybe we can start a type of after school club at my house or something along those lines. Anyways, I am prepared to try.