11 y/o with food choice issues.

[medicmama]

I need held with suggestions on how to get a 11 y/o boy to eat a greater variety of foods. First off he will be comming to live with us. he is skinny but not emeciated. Just thin.


His current food list contains:
Eggs(scrambled only)
Green apple (sometimes)
Potatoes
chicken
Beef
turkey lunchmeat(on said burnt toast)
hot dogs
fish sticks
Angle hair pasta
corn muffins(won't eat it if it is not in muffin shape)
corn flake cereal
milk
Bread toasted almost burnt
No sauces,jams,no butter
Various snacks crap snacks,that I just don't buy.

That's about it!

He has issues with meal prep, will vomit when he touches raw meat,but wants to eat it.
I need to get him past food hangups,or I will loose my mind! Help!

I would have no issues with him being a vegitarian but he doesn't eat anything that would be considered a meal.

I have tryied to get him involved in food shopping and all he does is make faces,stomp his feet and complain. Last week I put 1 piece of ww rotini on his plate. He flung it like it was gonna bite him. and started to cry because I told him to try it.


I am at the end of my rope!!!!! Help me wise mama's

[momuveight2B]

First thought is to not cater to this. Who has been? Meals are what they are and that is what I would serve, what he does with it is his business at this point. Keep healthy snacks of your choice on hand and again if he does or does not eat them then that is his business. Somewhere this child has gotten lots of mileage out of his eating habits. Very sad but I would not get on board in any way in supporting this. I am assuming that medical/psychiatric problems have been ruled out so that we can be sure that what we are addressing is behavioral? Some therapy is probably in order but I would not be involved and let it be his thing.

The second thing that may be helpful but is written with younger children in mind and with thoughts towards preventing these problems in the first place is a book from LLL called My Child Won't Eat. I think their website is lll.org and you can find the book there or from your local group.

[Houdini]

Wow.....I would be thrilled if my 12 year old son would eat that much of a variety. He is extremely limited in what he eats and it has nothing to do with getting mileage out of eating this way. For my son it isn't a matter of catering or not. He has major issues with textures and has very slowly gotten a little better over the years.

For us....we give him the option of trying new things, but he isn't forced/made to do so. He eats his stuff and usually fixes it himself. I prepare a 'typical' meal for the rest of the house.

[guest^]

Subbing.

Here in the good 'ole great plains, our local coop puts on cooking classes -even aimed at DC. Would he consider something like that-just to expand his horizons a bit? Also a trip to the bookstore to look for DC cookbooks-hoping to empower him by choosing and preparing himself?

If not, my sis raised 5 DC, and if they didn't like what was served for the meal, the DC had to try a tbls of it, the ncould make a PBJ,bowl of cereal,etc..

My DD is hypoglycemic, so just telling her to make a PBJ or have a bowl of cereal isn't a choice-she hates milk and PB!!:

I must admit, his list is better than some of my friend's DC, and a lot better than my own DC at times.

Good Luck!!

mp

[mamaduck]

I am curious to hear a little more about this boy. I am wondering if his food sensitivities are related to emotional problems?

Probably, I would let him spoon food onto his own plate at meals, and serve a variety of items plus one thing from his list. I would not press him to try things at this point -- just get him used to SEEING the new foods on a regular basis. When he is ready, it has got to be totally his choice to try something new.

Cooking class is a good idea. Encouraging him to plan and implement a garden in the spring is another thought I had -- he can begin the plannings/researching stage now. Make it clear that its just a project -- and he won't have to eat the stuff if he doesn't want to.

[PikkuMyy]

An 11 yo who throws one piece of plain pasta off his plate and starts to cry when asked to try it has sensory issues.

I work with kids with sensory issues and this is a perfect example.

I'd start off very slowly. If he acts that way when you put something on his plate, and when you try to get him involved in shopping, then he's not ready for new foods on his plate yet. I'd start with the shopping, and make sure that you have him join you in buying foods that you do NOT expect him to try. He needs to get comfortable with new foods without any pressure to try it.

I'll come back with more ideas.

[Momily]

If this child is just coming to live with you, I'd have to say that adjusting to this huge transition needs to be your first priority. Changing households and parent figures has to be scary for him, and it's natural for kids to react to scary changes by trying to control everything else in their lives. So, in my opinion, this isn't the time to institutes major changes in his diet

I agree with the suggestion to serve meals "family style" with at least one thing you know he'll eat on the table, and let him serve himself. You can make it a point to include things that are similar, but not the same -- corn bread, fried fillets of fish, as well as the things you know he'll eat. If you take off the pressure you may find that he starts to try things on his own. If not, you can try more assertive strategies later after he's made a good adjustment to your family.

Good luck, and congratulations on the new family member!

[medicmama]

Thanks for the Ideas keep them comming!!!

He does have some emotional issues as well as some behavior issuse.He sees a therapist and a psycoligist as well as a nutritionist,who was useless to me.

Please keep the Ideas comming. I gotta put the baby down to sleep.

~Nicole~

[Mama Dragon]

That's a good variety honestly. I put weight on my DS using generic Ensure and ever since he's had more of an appetite and eats more variety, but before I was lucky to get him to eat 1 meal.

Oh, as for your sig, I had to explain "unassisted childbirth" to the medics when they came to get me to take me to the hospital to get stitched up

[medicmama]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

I am curious to hear a little more about this boy. I am wondering if his food sensitivities are related to emotional problems?

Probably, I would let him spoon food onto his own plate at meals, and serve a variety of items plus one thing from his list. I would not press him to try things at this point -- just get him used to SEEING the new foods on a regular basis. When he is ready, it has got to be totally his choice to try something new.

Cooking class is a good idea. Encouraging him to plan and implement a garden in the spring is another thought I had -- he can begin the plannings/researching stage now. Make it clear that its just a project -- and he won't have to eat the stuff if he doesn't want to.

Great idea about letting him put stuff on his own plate.I made meat balls and sauce.I snuck in some pureed carrots from the freezer .He did try the sauce and did eat it.

I also should do more of letting the kids help with dinner prep,not just him but all of them.He does help me in the garden a bit and he sees the other kids just go in and get a tomato or cuckumber and just eat them,so he does see that it won't hurt him.

This morning he had a melt down because I did not have fz french toast sticks.I was making home made ft. he ate 2 bites and said he only likes the fz kind.: . Now my children are starting to act up as M is.

[medicmama]

Originally Posted by Synthea™

That's a good variety honestly. I put weight on my DS using generic Ensure and ever since he's had more of an appetite and eats more variety, but before I was lucky to get him to eat 1 meal.

Oh, as for your sig, I had to explain "unassisted childbirth" to the medics when they came to get me to take me to the hospital to get stitched up

You poor thing! ouch. I wouldn't bat an eye at UC. It usualy starts of with "You see ma'am,it happened like this."

[UUMom]

My first thought is that as a family you need to work on forming an emotional bond frst, food later. No food fights. That's not a horrible list, there are many ways to get good nutrition into him without resorting to food fights.

This boy sounds like he needs a lot of things, and right now trying new foods isn't one of them. Relationship first, then the rest can follow. I'm sure your realize this, and I am sure you want him to eat well...I think for a time you can work with his list. Baby steps. Gentle steps.

[InaX5]

Make sure there are always a few things at the meal he likes, & let him fill his own plate.

This may not be "just" picky eating. Find out what he doesn't like about the foods he won't eat. My dr. says I have "texture adversion" basiclly I don't like the way certain foods feel in my moth (slimy, mushy, some types of sticky). then there are foods that have a bad taste, I'll eat those ones if I need to, but if it has a bad texture I gag. Good news, I eat more foods then I used to, you may need to try things from other cultures to expand his pallet.

If you know why he doesn't like a food, you can help both of you find new "acceptable" foods.

[Jenlaana]

I had to jump on when I saw this thread. My DS is 12 yrs old and is VERY picky about food. Really, his list of what he will eat is about 1/3 of what your child would. Its my fault, and I know that, but basically we were a 2 person household for years (I was a single parent) and I was dieting, eating a lot of prepackaged meals etc so I made him things specifically for him. I didnt realize at the time that the things I made him would end up being the only things he would ever be comfortable eating. Adding some emotional issues from his father abandoning him at a very young age and some emotional issues (diag. adhd) and we've set ourselves up with a horrible situation. There have been a dozen times when DS has panic'd himself into having vomited after one bite of something because he didnt like what we gave him. (unfortunately this includes medicines which is the biggest issue)

For the most part, I just make my meals and talk to him before hand about it. Sometimes I can pull something out (like if I'm making a chicken/rice/tomato casserole, I can pull a piece of chicken out and he will eat it plain). Otherwise, he can make himself something, which he has been doing for quite awhile now if he doesnt want to eat what we are eating. We generally keep 100% beef hamburgers in the freezer and a few other things that he will eat but that dont qualify as "snack foods" (DS will eat snack foods and nothing else until it is all gone).

Some kids may be able to handle the "eat whats on the table or go hungry" route, but after fighting w/ DS for years about eating, I have a very good understanding of how far to encourage him without turning it into a no win battle.

[maya44]

First, don't put anything on his plate. Serve everything Family style. Lay it out in bowls and let him, and everyone else help themselves.

Build meals around things that he eats but put lots of other choices on the table.

Do NOT ask him 'Do you want some X" or 'Try some X". Just have it out, he has to ask for the thing to be passed to him (just like everyone else at the table).

The idea is that there is always at least one thing he likes on the table, but sometimes that is all. You do need to ease into this.

DO NOT COMMENT ON WHAT HE DOES OR DOES NOT EAT

He can eat as much or as little as he wants, but nothing else will be made til the next planned snack (which should be healthy)

Don't try to get him involved in meal prep/ shopping if he doesn't enjoy that.


Here is a Dinner plan I would put into effect for the first few days:

Day 1

Beef
Potatoes
Carrots (raw)
Sliced Strawberries
Oatmeal cookies

Day 2

Chicken
Rice
Salad with Lettuce/Tomato cucumber dressing on the side
Sliced Green Apples

Day 3

Angel Hair Pasta
Rotini Pasta
Loaf of Bread Toasted in Oven with Olive Oil and Garlic on Table for dipping
Paremsean Cheese
Blueberries
Ice Cream


Day 4
"Breakfast for Dinner"

Scrambled Eggs with bowls of Cheese on Side
Corn Flakes
Milk
Berries and Apples
Corn Muffins

Day 5

Chicken
Cus Cus
Asparagus
Salad
Ice Pops

Just having the food on the table does build tolerance even is kids with sensativity issues. It takes a loooooong time though.

[dancindoula]

I second (third?) the idea of the cooking class for ALL the kids, especially if there is no pressure to eat what was cooked. Also, maybe they could ALL be involved in planning the meal menu for the week and shopping for the food items - that way he may not feel so singled out for his eating habits, y'know? Maybe with the exposure to new foods and ingredients, watching others enjoy things HE put together, and no pressure to eat it himself it will entice him to try it out. To be honest, this strategy worked accidentally for ME: I live with a very picky/neurotic eater, my dh, and have had to do a lot of experimenting to find healthy and tasty things he will eat. Many of the things that finally worked for him are foods I positively hate, but fixing them for him and watching his obvious enjoyment tempted me to try them. I was surprised to learn that some of the foods I have long hated were actually quite good when fixed a specific way (oven-roasted beets tossed with olive oil, salt & pepper, for instance).

PS, congrats on the new addition to your family!

[medicmama]

Originally Posted by InaX5

Make sure there are always a few things at the meal he likes, & let him fill his own plate.

This may not be "just" picky eating. Find out what he doesn't like about the foods he won't eat. My dr. says I have "texture adversion" basiclly I don't like the way certain foods feel in my moth (slimy, mushy, some types of sticky). then there are foods that have a bad taste, I'll eat those ones if I need to, but if it has a bad texture I gag. Good news, I eat more foods then I used to, you may need to try things from other cultures to expand his pallet.

If you know why he doesn't like a food, you can help both of you find new "acceptable" foods.

I never thought about things that would taste bad to someone else. Thanks!

Originally Posted by Jenlaana

I had to jump on when I saw this thread. My DS is 12 yrs old and is VERY picky about food. Really, his list of what he will eat is about 1/3 of what your child would. Its my fault, and I know that, but basically we were a 2 person household for years (I was a single parent) and I was dieting, eating a lot of prepackaged meals etc so I made him things specifically for him. I didnt realize at the time that the things I made him would end up being the only things he would ever be comfortable eating. Adding some emotional issues from his father abandoning him at a very young age and some emotional issues (diag. adhd) and we've set ourselves up with a horrible situation. There have been a dozen times when DS has panic'd himself into having vomited after one bite of something because he didnt like what we gave him. (unfortunately this includes medicines which is the biggest issue)

For the most part, I just make my meals and talk to him before hand about it. Sometimes I can pull something out (like if I'm making a chicken/rice/tomato casserole, I can pull a piece of chicken out and he will eat it plain). Otherwise, he can make himself something, which he has been doing for quite awhile now if he doesnt want to eat what we are eating. We generally keep 100% beef hamburgers in the freezer and a few other things that he will eat but that dont qualify as "snack foods" (DS will eat snack foods and nothing else until it is all gone).

Some kids may be able to handle the "eat whats on the table or go hungry" route, but after fighting w/ DS for years about eating, I have a very good understanding of how far to encourage him without turning it into a no win battle.

Ah,yes the texture thing sounds like him.He does have some emotional "ISSUES",Including the abandonment.

I do put some stuff out on the table to get him use to seeing it.

His mama is a single parent,giving in and saying eat what you want which is usualy creeal,snack stuff.

Originally Posted by maya44

First, don't put anything on his plate. Serve everything Family style. Lay it out in bowls and let him, and everyone else help themselves.

Build meals around things that he eats but put lots of other choices on the table.

Do NOT ask him 'Do you want some X" or 'Try some X". Just have it out, he has to ask for the thing to be passed to him (just like everyone else at the table).

The idea is that there is always at least one thing he likes on the table, but sometimes that is all. You do need to ease into this.

DO NOT COMMENT ON WHAT HE DOES OR DOES NOT EAT

He can eat as much or as little as he wants, but nothing else will be made til the next planned snack (which should be healthy)

Don't try to get him involved in meal prep/ shopping if he doesn't enjoy that.


Here is a Dinner plan I would put into effect for the first few days:

Day 1

Beef
Potatoes
Carrots (raw)
Sliced Strawberries
Oatmeal cookies

Day 2

Chicken
Rice
Salad with Lettuce/Tomato cucumber dressing on the side
Sliced Green Apples

Day 3

Angel Hair Pasta
Rotini Pasta
Loaf of Bread Toasted in Oven with Olive Oil and Garlic on Table for dipping
Paremsean Cheese
Blueberries
Ice Cream


Day 4
"Breakfast for Dinner"

Scrambled Eggs with bowls of Cheese on Side
Corn Flakes
Milk
Berries and Apples
Corn Muffins

Day 5

Chicken
Cus Cus
Asparagus
Salad
Ice Pops

Just having the food on the table does build tolerance even is kids with sensativity issues. It takes a loooooong time though.

Just how long? just kidding! This makes sense to me,let him do it himself,maybe he will follow. My kids are now saying that they don't want something and acting like M. They don't have a choice though.they are on weight eval,and food log and followed at a feeding clinic.


Thanks for all the well wishes!!!! We love him to death,and just want to see him healthy and susceed.