Do you let your dc climb "up" the slide? - Page 3

[lml41981]

Yeah, I let my 22 month old climb up the slide and have been letting her do it since she was about 18 months old and realized it looked like a fun thing to do. It doesn't hurt anyone, it challenges her physically and it gives her a sense of accomplishment when she succeeds. We do tend to go to the playground during off-hours, though, because we don't particularly care for rowdy big kids who run her over...so she doesn't often have to share the slide.

[Martha_2sons]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

For those of you who are getting the hairy eyeball, has it occurred to you that parents are being forced to keep their kids away from the slide while your child goes haywire on it?

What I was referring to is a parent who believes that I should enforce THEIR rules (to only go down on slides) on my child. My child does not go "haywire" on the slide and is respectful of the rule of not going up when others want to come down.

[gretasmommy]

Usually I let DD play as she pleases, though she is an incredibly considerate kid (she even thanks me for stopping to let pedestrians cross the street! ). But we have been on the playground when parents have not been paying attention to their older kidren, who were running "haywire" over the liitle kid structures and not showing any regard for the safety of others (pushing through clusters of smaller kids at the *top* of the slides!!!). At these times I have just asked DD to come down and brought her to play elsewhere . . . .and when she asks why, I explain that some kids aren;t being safe and are not watching out for one another. That's really the lesson, right.

For all of the parents here who let their kids play freely, especially the thinking, considerate parents who tend to frequent MDC, I'll bet these older careless kids aren't yours! But they are out there . . . . and I'll bet these are the kids who cause other mamas to limit the play of their little ones at public playgrounds to keep them safe.

[swampangel]

I'm with most on this one...we go up and down and all around, but watch out for others.

As for he "haywire" stuff...as I read it throughout this thread I thought of the "it takes a village" notion. In cases when we've been at the playground and their are children who aren't being particularly safe or considerate, my friends and I try to gently step in and guide them. I think it is great for them (our kids and the unsupervised ones) to see that the adults around them will step in when needed.

I also shadow my little ones when there are lots of kids around to make sure they feel safe and watched. With the tube slide, my kiddo wouldn't want to go down anyway unless he was sure it was clear and safe...but I might lead my kiddo over to other activities if there were kids playing inside. I remember being an older child and that's the kind of play they do at playgrounds. It's a tough one, but public playgrounds are for all children...not just little ones.

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by swampangel

I'm with most on this one...we go up and down and all around, but watch out for others.

As for he "haywire" stuff...as I read it throughout this thread I thought of the "it takes a village" notion. In cases when we've been at the playground and their are children who aren't being particularly safe or considerate, my friends and I try to gently step in and guide them. I think it is great for them (our kids and the unsupervised ones) to see that the adults around them will step in when needed.

I also shadow my little ones when there are lots of kids around to make sure they feel safe and watched. With the tube slide, my kiddo wouldn't want to go down anyway unless he was sure it was clear and safe...but I might lead my kiddo over to other activities if there were kids playing inside. I remember being an older child and that's the kind of play they do at playgrounds. It's a tough one, but public playgrounds are for all children...not just little ones.

Sorry but I don't monitor the tube slide to see if there are kids playing on it at all times. If they are clogging it they are completely out of my view, and certainly out of my 2 year old's view. I'm glad your kid is just so advanced that he makes sure it is "clear and safe". My son is obviously a dolt for not realizing this. :

[aries_mama]

Yup, as long as no one else is waiting at the top. My DD isn't a huge slide fan anyway, and especially if it's super-crowded, she'd usually rather watch the madness.

[oliversmum2000]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

No.

They can of course do anything they like on the playset in the back yard (and they frequently do )

But I believe in teaching courtesy on a public playgrounds, and they are not allowed to use the slide in a manner that might be dangerous or inconvenient for others. Going up a slide certainly falls under that umbrella.

but surely the children going down the slide are also inconveniencing people, the ones who want to climb up!

i try to teach an awareness of other peoples feelings and to help them see if they need to give others a turn.

[clavicula]

no.

[treemom2]

I go along with the majority on this one as well. My children are free to climb up the slide as long as there are no other children at the top trying to come down. Also, if I see a child eyeing the slide I will ask them if they want to go down and then will tell my children to hop off the slide to let the other child down. Like others I often hear other parents telling their children not to go up the slide, but then again I also often see parents take their children to a swimming creek and tell them not to get wet:

[PumpkinSeeds]

I thought all kids knew that if you were climbing up the slide and a little one wanted to come down you were supposed to put your feet to the sides and make a tunnel with your body.

[gretasmommy]

It seems to me that some parents are a bit too "hands off" at the playground . . . not actually teaching their kids these general rules of courtesy . . .and too busy gabbing with one another to actually mind their kids at the playground! Kids only know to yield to smaller ones coming down the slides if their parents help them to understand this. Haven't you seen the bigger kids who have said "but I was coming up first!" instead of moving out of the way . . and then the little kids move aside, then the big kid comes around again faster than the little kid can get back into position at the top and comes right back up the slide??!!! Kids often do what they darn well please, unless the adults are paying at least a *little* bit of attention.

I often step in when another child is putting my own at risk, but I would really appreciate it if their actual parent were paying attention, and not having their own "play date" with a friend at the same time!!!

[monkey's mom]

Originally Posted by gretasmommy

It seems to me that some parents are a bit too "hands off" at the playground . . . not actually teaching their kids these general rules of courtesy . . .and too busy gabbing with one another to actually mind their kids at the playground!

I agree!

There was a recent discussion here where that sort of thing was discussed in pretty disparaging terms: "helicopter parenting"--hovering over the child as they tried to play. I was surprised, b/c it always seems like there's a good bit of need for adult "mediation" at the playgrounds we go to.

[mamazee]

When I was a kid, we used to walk down to the playground by ourselves, even as young as 5. I'm glad that isn't the case anymore, but I am not there to oversee my daughter's play. I'm there to make sure she is safe, and I feel that it's important to make sure there isn't any bullying going on. I do not at all consider it my job to make her play one way or another, nor do I feel I should be mediating between her and other children unless there's violence or bullying or something like that. I think learning how to negotiate with other children is an important part of play too. Also, it is important to me for my daughter to have a sense of autonomy. She isn't going to get that if I am taking care of every thing that comes up for her. Most things she can work out by herself. If she were behaving badly, I wouldn't start negotiating or getting involved; I'd simply take her home.

I've seen discussion about very young children on the playground - if there are very young children around I remind my daughter to watch out for them and be careful around them, and she does.

[ambivamom]

I think of this issue developmentally....
For my two-year-old, and until about the age of 5 or so (depending on their ability to understand), I just say, "We go down the slide."

I think that until at least 5, they are too little to understand the "different rules for different situations."

When they are old enough, I think it is ok to say, "Go up the slide only when no other kids are on the slide."

[Carolinamidwife]

ITA with both of the posters immediately above me. I am not there to micromanage my kids play nor to negotiate between them and other children. I want my kids to learn for themselves so aside from a little guidance when they are younger (learning about taking turns, keeping our hands to ourselves, etc) I prefer to let them learn how to negotiate playground obstacles. I really don't want to teach them that I will always be there to make sure things go perfectly for them because I won't.

Also, I try very hard not to judge moms who are at the park for a social outlet. Accusing them of not paying attention so they can be busy "gabbing" isn't really fair, who knows how many hours that mom goes without speaking to another adult. And a mom can also be not aware of what is going on if she is reading or even daydreaming. I don't feel the park should be a place where we should have to hover over our little ones incessantly.

[mamazee]

Yeah. I don't get being upset with moms for having conversations with other adults while at the park. What's wrong with a mom visiting with a friend? We don't stop wanting to have adult conversations when we have kids.

[monkey's mom]

I think there's a lot of ground betw. micromanaging and not paying attention.

If kids are having trouble respecting other kids at the park (as people here have expressed--and not just in regards to politely going up the slide), then, in my opinion, they need some help. That doesn't seem that controversial to me!

[riversong]

Originally Posted by Sheena

Also, I try very hard not to judge moms who are at the park for a social outlet. Accusing them of not paying attention so they can be busy "gabbing" isn't really fair, who knows how many hours that mom goes without speaking to another adult. And a mom can also be not aware of what is going on if she is reading or even daydreaming. I don't feel the park should be a place where we should have to hover over our little ones incessantly.

I go to the park with friends for a social outlet, but I also make sure to watch my dc. It's possible to do both, IMO. Most kids need some guidance from their parents so that they learn not to run over little kids or push others out of the way to get to the equipment they want. I have a very sensitive little girl who gets very upset when kids do this. I know she needs to learn that some kids are rougher than her, but it really bugs me when a parent is not paying attention to their very rough child.

Aside from bothering other kids, playgrounds can be dangerous. I cannot understand why so many parents in my city will be on the opposite side of the park from their kids in a spot where they can't even see them all the time. If I was an abductor, I could've easily walked off with young children many times at the park.

[afishwithabike]

Absolutely, but I'm at the bottom of the slide in case anything were to go awry.

[mamajama]

Originally Posted by mamazee

Yeah. I don't get being upset with moms for having conversations with other adults while at the park. What's wrong with a mom visiting with a friend? We don't stop wanting to have adult conversations when we have kids.

no kidding!

This is another one of those threads that I can hardly believe is so controversial. It seems some peope get all hot under the collar for such petty reasons!
I visit with my friends (if I'm lucky to have some with me that day) and even *gasp* talk on the celphone sometimes at the park. Right now I'm with my kids pretty much 24/7 and I'm a single mom. If my kids are busy happily playng at the park, I like to take some mental space. It keeps me sane.
My kids go up the slide. *I* go up the slide. It's fun. Parks are meant to be fun. If my kids are being boorish, the fun isn't happening and the prupose of being there is defeated. So I intervene and guide them to more respectful, accountable behaviour. Pretty much the same way I do all the rest of the time . And kids certainly do have the capacity to learn different codes of behaviour just as we all do---we behave differently in different circumstances. It's part of being human and last I checked, kids are human.