S/O: If you let your kids have sex at home.. - Page 8

[kafka]

Thank you, Oriole, for being brave enough to stand up for this perspective. I too agree that sex has been so trivialized in our society that it's not only become meaningless, but also less pleasurable. After my divorce, when I started dating again (for the first time since I was 17!), I was stunned by how jaded and cynical men in their 40s were. I gradually came to the conclusion that if you have enough casual sex and "relationships" it seems to do something to your head, and there's no easy way back to recovering the wonder and mystery of love...it's just a another partner...and sooner or later they all start to blur. Thankfully my 2nd husband had refused to have casual sex throughout his adult life, and we had exactly the same kind of romantic relationship we would have had as teenagers...we've been married almost 10 years now, with a great sex life. I tell this story to my older son. It's not about (for me) avoiding diseases and pregnancy; it's about preserving the romance, the feeling that the person you're with is unique among all others. This argument seems to resonate with my son, perhaps because it rings true to him. So...no overnights here until he's married or otherwise in a truly committed relationship.

Originally Posted by Oriole

Exactly the reason why I would want something better for my child, and another proof that not all kids will go out and do it, and sometimes it happens because parents don't mind bfs/guys staying over.

I realize it might not be a traumatic event at all, but I guess I just have a different view on life. The reason why divorces are high, imho, is because people don't know what relationships should look like, and it often starts in High School, where pressure is put on sex, vs. romance of the relationship.

I don't want to trivialize sex for my child, and I don't want her to think that three months into high school crash is a normal timeframe for having sex with a boy.

I want her to look for the magic of love, where evey touch is something special, and sex is not just sex, but making love. You don't see this message coming from her high school friends, or the media, and as a parent I would like to provide a different view on sex and relatinships in general for her.

[Changed]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

I only had time to read the first two pages, but I want to respond to this in case nobody else caught it: Linda on the Move wrote, referring to condoms, That's if you use them exactly perfectly, every single time, for every moment of genital contact. For typical users, condoms are only 85% effective.

I make a point of citing this statistic at every opportunity because I've found that many people don't know about it. I knew it by the time I reached adolescence, thanks to my mother making sure I had access to some very informative books , and when I started having sex I used a separate spermicide gel (that is, a full dose--spermicidally lubricated condoms are NOT proven to be any more effective than plain ones!) or a sponge EVERY time until I got my cervical cap when I was 19. Condoms alone are better than nothing, but they're better used with a backup method.

Pardon the tangent.

No, I'm glad you did. That's a really important point to make to our kids.