Help me feel better about this...

[mom22girls]

I went to the hospital today for a tour of the surgical suite (yeah, I'm like that), and was informed that due to the summer holidays, post-op, they wheel me across the street to a recovery room for ABOUT 3 HOURS or until the feeling starts to come back from my spinal. The baby stays in the nursery - so basically after I see her once she's born, she's whisked away, I'm whisked away, and I don't see her for 3 hours or so....

This is really upsetting to me. I was so upset after the tour, I couldn't drive for about 20 minutes - then I had to drive around for another 30 minutes because I didn't want to pick up dds looking so awful[]. I'm thinking about sleeping with a baby blanket for the next two nights and perhaps request that she is wrapped in it so she can smell me. Am I being weird???? My dh said he will stay with her, but that's not me and her, KWIM? I don't think he really gets it - I don't think anyone but another mother can really get it. Anyone have any words of wisdom, or thoughts to help me feel better about this - they don't necessarily have to be true - I'm just looking for something to repeat so I don't freak-out post-op!

[momuveight2B]

I've never been seperated that long so I would be really upset too. I think that is my greatest fear that something will happen and I will not be able to have my baby. Of course dh would stay with them but like you say it is not the same.

I don't think your reaction is unreasonable at all.

[cornpicker]

That stinks! Can you talk to your doc, is the ANY way around that policy at all? I'm sorry. I don't have any words of wisdom. The blanket idea is nice, I think. Sending you hugs.

[QueenOfThePride]

If I should need a C-section, recovery is on a different floor and I won't be able to have my baby with me either. But I am insisting on BFing before we are separated, and the baby will go with my family to my labor/delivery room so he never ends up in the nursery. See if your doctors will agree to those two requests, I think it will make it a lot easier for us.

[danotoyou2]

That's not uncommon with cesaraens, unfortunately. My son was born via c/s at 11:01pm, and I didn't see him until about 2:30am. I was also under general anesthetic, so I didn't get to SEE him at all until he was over 3 hours old. My entire family got to see him before me, which my niece (who's 9 and doesn't know any better) reminds me sometimes that "I got to see Evan before you did" It HURTS to carry a baby around for 9 months, go through so much, and in then be separated for so long at such a critical period. And no, it's NOT enough that your DH goes with the baby! Newborns belong with their mothers, period.

See if you can negotiate something else. Say that you don't consent to having the baby removed from your presence, unless there's a medical emergency. That's what I have in my birth plan this time (although I hope to hell I don't have another c/s!).

Talk to your doctor, and try to figure something else out! If they know the level of anxiety this is causing you, some doctors and hospitals will change their policies a bit.

[PPK]

I hope you can be with your baby for at least a few minutes right after birth and at least talk to her and let her know you'll see her soon. I can't imagine how hard that would be, but stay positive and strong, you're baby depends on you for your love and strength. Know that you've been communicating with this soul for a long time~before she even came into your womb, so you still can do that no matter where she is..send her your protection, even from far away, she will know you're there! Best of luck to you both, you'll both do great.

BTW,I think wrapping your baby in a blanket with your scent is an excellent idea, and anything else you can think of along those lines.

[dctexan]

Momma - I am a big believer in fighting hospital policy. If your arms are working, hold on to your baby and don't let go. Start screaming bloody murder if they try to take your baby away from you. I think the magic words are "I do not give you informed consent" (my birthing instructor swears this will stop medical personnel in their tracks)
I see ZERO reason why you can't have your baby with you (esp. if DH is there to "supervise").

[danotoyou2]

Originally Posted by dctexan

Momma - I am a big believer in fighting hospital policy. If your arms are working, hold on to your baby and don't let go. Start screaming bloody murder if they try to take your baby away from you. I think the magic words are "I do not give you informed consent" (my birthing instructor swears this will stop medical personnel in their tracks)
I see ZERO reason why you can't have your baby with you (esp. if DH is there to "supervise").

Great advice!

Also, I've heard of other women who do this, and the response of the doctors/hospital staff is that the mother COULD somehow harm the baby, and the father isn't enough to guarantee that it's not harmed You can also INSIST that if this is the case, a nurse from OB (who would normally be taking care of the baby anyway) come down to supervise. Even if she ends up holding the baby, at least you'll be able to stay in visual contact with your babe!

And practice the mantra.... "I do not consent"

[ShabbyChic]

I just had a c-section last week and even as sick as I was, I fought them and they gave in pretty easily. I was wheeled out of the operating room to recovery and my DH kind of held DS on my chest, because I was out of it. Then once in recovery they said they were taking him upstairs. I said no way and then asked DH to help me position him to nurse. I basically latched him on and every time they prodded me to take him, I just said he was still latched on and they left me alone. Eventually, he went to the nursery with my mother as an escort, where she watched them and then they brought him back to me. I had to stay in recovery for close to 24 hours, so I just kept him latched on and they left me alone. Also, they were busy in recovery, so I felt like the more I said I was fine, they left me alone.

[mama2walden&luna]

Originally Posted by ShabbyChic

I just had a c-section last week and even as sick as I was, I fought them and they gave in pretty easily. I was wheeled out of the operating room to recovery and my DH kind of held DS on my chest, because I was out of it. Then once in recovery they said they were taking him upstairs. I said no way and then asked DH to help me position him to nurse. I basically latched him on and every time they prodded me to take him, I just said he was still latched on and they left me alone. Eventually, he went to the nursery with my mother as an escort, where she watched them and then they brought him back to me. I had to stay in recovery for close to 24 hours, so I just kept him latched on and they left me alone. Also, they were busy in recovery, so I felt like the more I said I was fine, they left me alone.

Awesome, way to go mama!!! I agree with these posts, do not give informed consent for them to take your baby from you. Have dh help you. It is really important for a baby to be with it's mother immediately after birth. I would fight it if I were you.

[ladyleigh]

I like the idea of the blanket. And hopefully your dh will be able to hold her the whole time!!

Just a thought- can someone stay with you? A family member or friend? I think it would be really hard to be alone those few hours...

good luck! and know you have lots and lots and lots of hours to hold her afterward!

[clancybaby]

is it for certain that this will be a surgical birth or is it possible you will avoid some of this?

you mention that this situation you may run into is the result of summer holiday...if that's so then its not a policy. it may be for lack of staff but that's not a good enough reason to separate mom and baby, it just means that they may need to work a little harder to accomodate you; they'll do it if you make it plain that its required. the pps have given lots of good advice about simply saying that you don't consent to whatever it is. remember that this is YOUR and dh's baby, the hospital cannot legally forcefully take baby from you and if they try be prepared to put your foot down. healthy babies just don't need to be removed from mother's presence, make them tell you why they want to take baby and why its necessary. if anything is a "just what they do" type of item then ignore it completely. DH can certainly be tasked with caring for baby and keeping baby safe in your presence while you recover. If hospital staff have a problem with him being in charge of baby, well that's just not their place. Baby does not need a bath or anything, baby can stay with you and nurse and bond etc, they can very easily do every required exam right there in your room - just try to be firm and hopefully DH or a doula or someone else in your family can stand firm with you/for you so that you don't bear the burden - its hard to fight when you're the one laboring and even harder when you're anesthetized.

wishing you a happy and healthy birth.

[PPK]

i just had my baby and realize now that there;s on way I'd let anyone take my baby away, unless there was a real medical emergency, etc..

I'd just not let her go..hopefully you can have husband or doula there to help stick up for your choice and be firm with the staff.

best of luck

[mama2walden&luna]

Heather, you DO have a choice.