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how much time off did you & SO take when baby was born? - Page 2

post #21 of 53
I took off 2 months, but went back less than 10 hrs/week.

DF took 6 weeks. He is the chef of a conference center run by an educational nonprofit. They had to hire a temp replacement for him. For him, the first month is paid, the second is paid at 75%, and the third is paid at 50%.

It was nice having him home, but he probably could have went back at 3-4 weeks and I would have been fine. Next time (with DS around full time and DSD around half-time) I will be happy to have him around for a while.
post #22 of 53
I took off 12 weeks.
DH took off two weeks after the birth of the baby (I was recovering from surgery too, but even when I was planning a natural birth he was going to take two weeks off to help). After I went back to work DH took 12 weeks off (we overlapped on my last week/his first week for Christmas vacation though) and so DD did not go to daycare until she was 5.5 months old. He was a trend setter and his other coworkers started doing the same thing. He got lots of positive comments about it, although sometimes I got annoyed by it. He was called a saint to stay at home with his daughter for twelve weeks by his mother, while when I told her I wanted to be a stay at home mom I got laughed at and told "You are no suzy homemaker."

Someone had asked about DP line of work if they were able to take leave. DH works for the state in Law Enforcement. Back when he was single he never ever took time off, so he had more than enough annual leave to cover his 12 weeks (plus the 2 to take care of baby and me at the beginning). The state obviously has to uphold FMLA laws.
post #23 of 53
DH took 2 weeks with DS1, 1.5 weeks with DS2. He plans to take 2 weeks this time.
post #24 of 53
Originally Posted by Spring Flower View Post
Just out of curiosity...would you mind sharing what line of work your DH/DP's are in where they are able to take off a paternity leave like that?

I do have friends whose husbands were able to take off a few weeks or a few months and most of their husbands are nurses or work for government. My husband says it's not the norm for men to be able to take off a lot of time and not to expect it the next time around...but I wonder about that.
My DP is in the IT industry. Here in Canada, parental leave is through the government , and you get 55% of your pay to a certain maximum. That is offered as 37 weeks that one or both parents can take or share. There is an additional 15 weeks that is solely maternity leave (so a woman can take 52 weeks off, for example.)

Then, a lot of companies here offer parental leave top ups. So my partner's work offers to top up the 55% to 93 for 17 weeks. Some offer varying amounts of top up for varying amounts of time.

His last job only offered top up for women, so we saved his bonus and our tax refund so he could stay home 8 weeks. It was nice, but not really enough.

The other thing is having him home made things a lot easier for my daughter. She never had any problems adjusting to the new baby, and I think that was because there was two of us home for the first 4 months.
post #25 of 53
My husband is a carpenter.
post #26 of 53
None for dh. We had planned on two weeks, but with Lilly coming early things didn't work out. At the time I had my dd, dh was working full time at night plus trying to start is business during the day. He took the night before I had my c-section off (we didn't realize I was going to deliver the next day, he was just worried because I was so sick), the day after dd was born was Thanksgiving so he already had that off, and he went back to work on Friday. My mom drove me to and from the hospital until for two weeks until I could drive. I basically lived at the NICU for the six weeks Lilly was there. When she came home I was pretty much on my own except for my mom coming over to help when she could. Jimmy was sleeping most of the time he was not working. This time around dh is self-employed so he will have a much more flexible schedule and will be able to stay at home more.
post #27 of 53
Let's see... DH worked the Tuesday before DS was born, we drove to the Farm during the night, he was born Wednesday, we drove back home Friday, and then DH worked half-days the next week... So, three full days and five half-days off.

It was enough for us, but it was the first baby, no c-section or hard recovery, and my parents were around for most of the time, so that made a big difference. Next time he might need to take more, with a little boy in the house.

post #28 of 53
You all are making me drool with envy!

I was a single mom when I had my twin boys, but my parents were staying with me, and they stayed for 2 months. HEAVEN. I met my dh when the boys were 3 months, we got married when they were 6 months, and he adopted them last year.

When I had dd, he took off only a week. My mom came for 2w after that, but I ended up having emergency gallbladder surgery, so I couldn't do much.

This time dh is taking off 2w, and my mom is coming after that for 2w. So I'm hoping a month will be enough to get into somewhat of a good groove with 4 kids under the age of 5. :
post #29 of 53
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
I'm a sahm, but dp took 4 months off. He could have taken a year, but the first 4 months get paid at 93% and the rest only gets paid at 55%, so we could only afford for him to take 4 months off.

I really needed him, and wouldn't have more kids if he couldn't take significant time off.

Parental leave is pretty common here. There are several fathers at dp's work that take leave.
: : :
We live in Ontario also, but since we are a one-income family, and there is a cap on parental benefits, and most people don't get any 93%, and there are 2 weeks of ZERO, we can't afford for dp to take any parental leave.
It would not even pay our rent, and we're a family of five. We also need to eat and pay our bills. I'm so angry that he can't take any of it when he's paid so much into EI. This system is lauded as a great example, but it's really not accessible.
post #30 of 53
No I agree. We are a one income family too and the maximum is less than 55% so my partner actually gets less than 55% from the government. We were lucky that my daughter was born right after we got our tax refund and bonus.

It also varies greatly by industry I imagine. Most of my friends also have benefits that include parental leave top up.

It needs to be more accessible for sure.

It is still better than the big fat zero one gets in the U.S.
post #31 of 53
After my c-section when my son was born I never went back to work.

I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what my DH took off. Its sort of blury because my FIL died one week before my DS was born so some of my husband's time was considered bereavement (sp?). Plus he works nights and weekends from home which earns him compensation time so while he didn't go into the office I do think he did some odds and ends here and there.

All total, I know he was out of work for one week before DS was born. Then I think he had at least two weeks vacation time he used. Then there were a few comp days. Plus Thanksgiving fell in there. Then they let him work from home for at least a few days, maybe a week. So I want to say that he was at home at least three weeks after our DS was born.

I'm still sort of vague as to what the plan is this time. It gets so blurry because now he is an official part-time work from home person. But he does have vacation time he is taking so he'll be completely OFF work for a while. A week? Two at most! I don't know...

What ever it is I know it won't be enough!

I PRAY TO GOD I get my unmedicated VBAC because I can't imagine taking care of a toddler and a newborn and recovering from surgery.
post #32 of 53
I took off all of my FMLA 12 weeks and feel like I needed every day of that time. We had always been planning for my dh to quit work and be a sahd. He stopped working a couple weeks before dd was born and he was pretty much primary care-giver (except for nursing) right from the beginning which made both my time at home and the transition to going back to work much easier. Him being a sahd is also what allowed me to keep nursing dd after returning to work. At first dh would bring dd out to my work in the middle of the afternoon so I could nurse!
post #33 of 53
dd1- she was an unexpected c/s and DH was a grad student at the time. I took the 12 weeks of unpaid leave offered by my employer, he took 2 weeks off and then went to the lab half time for another 2 weeks.

dd2- my vbac babe, DH now works full time in an academic affiliated bio-tech lab. I am taking the full 16 weeks of unpaid leave available to me while DH took all his vacation days... he took friday (the day she was born), then the next week off and a second week at half time.
post #34 of 53
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
It is still better than the big fat zero one gets in the U.S.
Not for us, it isn't.
post #35 of 53
sanguine_speed, how exactly does it work in Canada? Can you give a brief explanation?

I would love for dh to get paid time off. He's taking his 2w by using all of his vacation time for this year.
post #36 of 53
I explained it in post24 Yumadoula.
post #37 of 53
Originally Posted by MommaCrystal View Post
I PRAY TO GOD I get my unmedicated VBAC because I can't imagine taking care of a toddler and a newborn and recovering from surgery.
I hope you get your VBAC as well, but don't stress yourself out over the thought of recovery and caring for a toddler and newborn! Women are amazing creatures...we do what we have to do.

I had a c/s and took care of twin 13 month olds and a newborn while DH worked 100+ hours per week. After my last c/s, I took care of twin 5 year olds, a 4 year old, and a newborn by myself. If there aren't any other options, you do what you have to do. If you truly are not physically capable of handling things, you figure out a way to get things done somehow.
post #38 of 53
First time, dh took 3 weeks, this time around, he will be taking a full month.

financially, it's a catastrophe, but the time together, having the help for me, is priceless, so we'll be taking out loans if we need to.

I had planned a 12 week maternity leave, but decided i couldnt go back full time, so i was let go. At about 4 months pp, i took a PT job.
This time around, I'm working PT and if they'll let me, I'll take 12 weeks off and then return PT.
post #39 of 53
DH went back to work the last day I was in the hospital. We couldn't afford time off. now we have a bit more of a cushion so he is taking bits off here and there. I took care of nb triplets while recovering from a c/s by myself. It is hard, but you can do it.
post #40 of 53
DP was off for the labor and the next day when we came home from the hospital. But had to go to work the very next day for 12 hours on a Saturday to try and catch up. This is when he worked for his dad. : He has since left his dad and works for a much better company. Here in CA we have paid family leave and he will be taking two weeks minimum with this baby, due any day now.
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