how much time off did you & SO take when baby was born? - Page 3

[bryonyvaughn]

Wow! DH took one week (5 business days) off with our first 10 1/2 years ago. Our second and third were born at lunch on a Saturday and a Friday evening so by missing two days work each he still had an okay time off. Since then he's officially taken two days off for each birth *but* he ends up making at least one site visit for a client and working the phones 1/2 day both days. On one hand it's annoying that he's a workaholic that's incapable of relaxing and having meaningful time bonding with his family *but* his antsy-ness can be so grating that it's worth being on my own, homeschooling six children with a newborn and running the house just to get him out of my hair. If he's not working on some deals he just paces and snaps like a caged wild animal.

~BV

[Belleweather]

My husband was home with us for 6 weeks. He took FMLA from his job, so it was unpaid leave, but I can't imagine not doing that. We likely won't be as lucky this time -- he's new in his job and won't be able to take FMLA but he's going to try to arrange at least a couple of weeks, and then some part-time or flex-time after that. I'm going to have to rely much more on my mother, who is retired and can come and help, and other friends and relatives than I did last time. Which kinda sucks, because with a 2 year old who will also need love and attention and chasing I really will NEED a lot more help to allow me to stay on my arse in bed, you know?

[Peony]

DH took off 2 weeks when DD2 was born. I would of loved more but it was not possible since he is the boss.

[ecoteat]

This thread is making me realize how lucky I am. DH is a WAHD, so he arranged his work so that he wouldn't need to do much for a while and what needed to be done could happen during the countless hours I was nursing or sleeping with dd and didn't actively need him at that time. He was amazing--taking care of me and everything around he house so I could hole up in the bedroom for weeks on end. He gradually eased into taking on more work and didn't go on any business trips of at least a few months. I am a teacher, so I started my leave a month before dd was born (spring vacation was a logical cut-off point) and was off the rest of the year. I went to part-time that fall, after 5 months at home.

[MommaCrystal]

Wow, I admire you momma's who were able to take care of so much after your c/s's. My recovery with my first was a PURE NIGHTMARE! I had massive back pain for three months and I was physically unable to get up out of bed or out of a chair for 6 weeks on my own. I could not bathe myself, it was all I could do to feed myself. The pain medications made me puke and gave me massive headaches and didn't even TOUCH the pain! I ended up in physical therapy.

It took three months before I was able to function to some level of normalcy. It was at this point I was able to walk across a parking lot without stopping to rest and sit at least once. It took six months before I could resume all normal activities.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, my husband's birthday.... I really couldn't participate at all!

I know my experience is not typical but I have no reason to believe it wouldn't happen again. I could not take care of my toddler if I was in this shape.

[EdnaMarie]

DH took off one month for paternity. I was working from home but quit that after four months. DH doesn't make that much but we'll manage.

[~Boudicca~]

First baby, DH took off 5 days, and I had 5 weeks . I really felt screwed in the maternity leave department but I had to go back to work because we were broke. It devastated me to leave her so early. For the second kid, I was sure it would be more of the same, but things worked out so much better this time: My leave started the day I gave birth, and I will be going back to work next week (14 weeks! I feel so grateful for this), and DH took off 10 days, but then had vacation time to use so he took off another 5 the following week.

I actually feel like I got a babymoon this time!

[LemonPie]

My DH is a family practitioner. When our first was born, DH was in residency, and managed to get 4 weeks paid off. 2 weeks of that was technically a "home study" rotation where he had to prepare a presentation. It worked out well. He started his 4 weeks on a Monday, and I promptly went into labor and delivered on Wednesday However, during the second week he was home, he got an unexpected opportunity to moonlight at another local clinic. We desperately needed the money at the time, so it was actually quite a blessing. He did that part time, and was home part time. It was probably good for me to "work into" being a full-time SAHM. (I quit my job 3 weeks before DS was born).

With #2, he took a week off. DD was born at 39w5d, but looked and acted like a 37 weeker. She had major breastfeeding problems and then got severe, scary jaundice and was admitted to the hospital. DH ended up taking some extra days/half-days due to all that. Fortunately, both my parents and my ILs (who are wonderful, helpful people) live very close and they pitched and helped us a lot, especially with DS.

We're TTC #3 at the moment, and I'm not sure what we'll do. DH is the sole physician in a very busy county clinic, and that makes it difficult for him to just take vacation. He does have a PA and an NP, but he'll probably still answer some calls from the clinic, go in and sign some prescriptions (he's the only one who can Rx narcotics), etc. He also covers the local jail and juvenile detention centers, and will probably have to answer pages from them. I'm just praying that they recruit another physician before then!

Jen

[kwilki8]

Dh had two weeks of available vacation time when dd was born. He had arranged to take one week starting when I was admitted to the hospital. We ended up being in the hospital for 6 days, unfortunately, so he went back to work the day after we came home. My mom stayed for the next two weeks to help.

I'm a teacher and with a baby due April 9 had intended to take off the rest of the school year. I went on bedrest in February, though, and dd was born at 36 weeks, so I ended up with 4 weeks after she was born that were paid. I took another 4 weeks of FMLA time, and then went back for the last two weeks of the year because we couldn't afford any more unpaid time. DH took his second week of vacation one of those weeks, and my mom came for the other. Then I was home until August. I actually frequently forget that I went back to work for those two weeks, because they were such a sleep-deprived haze.

[Onemagicmummy]

i havent read the wholethread yet.

with our first baby his work were really snott. he took off the day the baby was born(a monday) but had to be back the next and they REFUSED to let him have an hour off to come see me in the afternoon then made him go back to work after picking me up from hospital. then they refused him any time offso he came to an agreement that he would take half days monday ad friday so he could have a long weekends at home for a few months. by then end of fisrt week he was then told he was going to be made redundant anyway and cos of some health problems he ended up signed off sick for the remainder of the time he was supposed to work.

with the 2nd child he was not working(off sick for different reasons to above) and he was here the whole time which was not a good thing. i uit BF at10 weeks cos i was too damn lazy and cos DH was here i kept handing off to him all the time jsut so i could be alone(start of PPD) when baby was 14 weeks old i discovered i was pregnant again!!!. it was a slap in the face for us all as we realised there was no way we could raise 3 kids on sickness benefits so DH started job hunting and had a job by time DD was 6 month old.

when i had DS2he had not been working long enogyht to get PAID paternity leave so he took uppaid time off and a weeks holiday. someone at his work messed up an he DID get paid for it but it was takd back later on but as he had been back at work then it didnt matter as his bonus covered it so it all worked out very well. also with him being at work 2pm-10pm i jsut could not be bothered faffing about making bottles etc i BF DS2 for 14 months.

with this one he gets 2 weeks paid leave. paid at his norml pay fo 1st week then only £100for teh 2nd when he normly earns £185-£200 but hey ho we will manage.

he was going o take a weeks hoiday too but he got sick in Janurary and used all his sick time then had a nasty accident falling off his bycicle and damaged his sholder adn could not take sick time so he used holidays to recover so he has no holidays left for rest of year so i only get 2 weeks then have to be back to normal then wheather i want to or not.

my mum is coming thefirst week and taking my two older ones to a caravan over night and then taking DS to school so i can have a little bit of a break and get used to new baby, then i have a week of all 4 kids and DH to help then but at the end of the 2 weeks my DH has off i am on my own.

Kiz

[BennyPai]

Dh took one week because it was all we could afford. There were a few times I needed him to come home to help after that. We both wished it were longer (one month minimum). Between caring for 21 mos. dd during the days and nursing nb dd throughout the nights, I was exhausted. I almost mistook sleep deprivation for ppd. My dh didn't get a break either - he was up throughout the night with our older dd who was dealing with the big sis transition.

If we have another child, I hope the whole family will have the opportunity to slow down and let ourselves focus on our home. Ideal would be the first six months, but in our situation that probably won't become reality.

[LokiPuck]

This is our first baby. DH took two weeks, he used FMLA, but also used some of his vacation so we would have some money.

I go back to work on the 27th. DS will be 11 weeks. I was also off for three weeks before his birth b/c I was on bedrest for pre-ecclampsia.

Everyone I know seems shocked about the amount of time I took off. Most people around here take six weeks max. I'm broke but I am so glad for the time I did get to stay home, I'm dreading going back to work.

[cdmommie]

My employer is giving me 2 weeks off, but I get to take the baby to work with me when I go back (I am a nanny). And my husband does not get any time off. He will call in the day I am actually having the baby, but we can not afford for him to miss more than that one day. We are both working college studens and he delivers pizza, so no paid time off.