Avoiding the beta, don't want to know

[FtMPapa]

(It looked like teh intertubez ate my post, so if this appears twice, my apologies.)

I'm supposed to go in for my beta today, but I just can't. I'm 15 DPO (O confirmed by ultrasound) and I *know* I'm not pregnant. I haven't tested at home, but I can just *tell* and I'm scared to go in for the beta, because I know it will be bad news.

Does anyone else ever feel that way?

As long as there's a chance, I am to keep taking my progesterone, and as long as I take the progesterone, I'm not bleeding, which means there is a chance. You see how the logic goes?

[ChristyM26]

[MollyD]

(children in siggy)

I felt that exact same way on our last IVF. Seriously I knew I wasn't pregnant, because I felt like I always did before, and all that was BFN.

My DH drug my butt in there to get the beta test, of course then he leaves for work while I am waiting for the test. I sat and cried and cried while they took my blood because, as I told the tech doing the blood sample that it was a wster of time and money to do this.

Fast forward 3 hours later they called me at home, and when I answered the phone, I just cried, I didn't want to hear it. When she said it was + I literally stopped breathing and felt faint.

Now almost 4 years later my once thought negative are very active twins.

I do understand your feelings all too well.

Molly

[ashesofyou]

One of the most valuable things I have learned from TTC, is that sometimes you have to wipe your tears, take a deep breath, and put one foot infront of the other.

Go in for your beta, if nothing else, confirming what you already know will help you emotionally move on to the next cycle.

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by ashesofyou

One of the most valuable things I have learned from TTC, is that sometimes you have to wipe your tears, take a deep breath, and put one foot infront of the other.

Go in for your beta, if nothing else, confirming what you already know will help you emotionally move on to the next cycle.

Yeah, it's true. This is my saddest negative because there is no next cycle in the immediate future. There is a vial of sperm in the clinic's freezer, and I am moving to another country, where I don't have access to fertility services. I will come back for that vial, but I have no idea when.

I took a home test - not even a shadow of a line. Not even the reflection of the echo of a whisper of a thought of an imaginary line.

I'll go for the beta tomorrow, just to be 100% certain before I go off the progesterone.

[ashesofyou]

many hugs then. That is very hard. How many DPIUI are you? Could it still be too early for the hpt? If not, I hope the time passes quickly until you can come back.

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by ashesofyou

many hugs then. That is very hard. How many DPIUI are you? Could it still be too early for the hpt? If not, I hope the time passes quickly until you can come back.

Thanks.

14 DPIUI, 15 DPO. I Oed on my own, much to the clinic's consternation - I had a trigger shot, but Oed 12 instead of 36 hours later.

At least with ultrasound, we knew that, and I knew my chances were lower, but not impossibly low.

I'm going for the beta tomorrow, but I *KNOW* what the result will be, the home test just confirmed my feelings.

[ShadowFire]

Just offering hugs and thinking positive thoughts for you.

[ChesapeakeBorn]

Thinking of you, Papa and sending lots of hugs your way. May you find peace and strength. We are here for you.