Do you let neighborhood kids in your house?

[famousmockngbrd]

Just wondering what others' policy is on this. When I was growing up, there were some houses on my street that the moms wouldn't let the kids play inside. Some houses it was OK. I remember thinking that the moms who wouldn't let the kids inside were kind of... well, mean.

Now my oldest is getting to the point where other kids in the neighborhood are just dropping in to play. On one hand, I think that's awesome. On the other hand, I don't want to be watching a bunch of kids all the time. Am I being unfriendly if I don't let the kids in the house? They do ask to come in and I always say no. I tell them I'll bring them a drink or whatever, I try to be hospitable, but I don't want them coming in to play. We have a small house and I guess I just like my privacy.

I am feeling conflicted about this. I feel guilty and I don't want to be the mean mom or come off as unfriendly. They are welcome to come over and play in our yard any time but I don't want them to come in the house. What do you think?

[jillmamma]

I think it depends. Obviously, it is your house, and you make the rules about who is invited in and who is not. I definitely reserve the right to tell kids that we are playing outside right now, maybe another time, especially if it is just not a good time. I think that if your children have a few special friends, I would allow them to play inside once in awhile too. I can definitely see where you don't want everyone running in and out too. Maybe you could set up an indoor playdate with one or two of your kids closer friends? That way you know when and don't have to deal with as much mayhem?

[Sharlla]

DS1 isn't allowed in other homes but I was fine with the neighbor kids coming in.

[famousmockngbrd]

Yeah, DS has playdates all the time and of course those kids come in the house. I'm talking about the random neighborhood playing that spontaneously occurs.

[Nankay]

We always strived to be the home the other kids wanted to come to. Now that the kids are older (9 and 12) it's paying off. We don't have to worry about other folks' homes because everyone comes to our house.

[HarperRose]

I don't let my kids go to ppl's homes and I don't let other kids in my home.

I'm just not comfortable with some of the neighbor kids - one kid weirds me out but I can't put my finger on why. I'm just not comfortable having him here. I don't even feel comfortable letting him play w/ ds at the pool. I wish I could figure out why, but the boy hasn't done anything that would make me feel this way. So it's confusing.

There is a family that I like a lot. They have really great kids and they're very easy going ppl and pleasant to visit with. We all typically hang out at the pool because we have cats and their little girl is VERY allergic. She spent an afternoon at our house and ended up in the ER that night. I felt awful! So no, they don't come over my house, but my kids could go over theirs if I went, too. I don't expect other ppl to babysit my kids unless it's a prior arrangement.

[redhotmama]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

DS1 isn't allowed in other homes but I was fine with the neighbor kids coming in.

I just shoo them out when I'm ready for quiet with a cheerful, "Time to clean up, we're going to have family time now."

[LilyGrace]

I have kids coming over even when mine aren't here!

I don't have a problem with neighbor kids in the house. I usually have a few open ended activities they can do (paint, salt dough, building stuff, bubbles) and I set to work on my own things. The kids love it - I had two over today: one helping me with a puzzle in the living room and then later I had a little girl over who wanted to help me bake a cake.
When they play with the boys, they have the option of taking the games to the bedroom or the yard. I don't care either way. It keeps mine where I can see them and all of them out of trouble.

My only rules are
1. They HAVE to let mom/dad know where they are and get a check in time.
and
2. They need to come to me with their times.

I have a few that come over and can't tell time and used to spend every five minutes pestering me about the time and if they had to go check in yet. I set a timer when a kid comes in and when it buzzes they jump and go.

[joy2bmom]

I don't let the neighbor kids come in my house and i don't think anyone else would either, you'd hafta know them, they steal, no manners, and they're really dirty kids, but if we had decent neighbors it would depend on my mood i guess. I think the way your handling it is pretty good, its your house.

[staceychev]

Sadly, we only have one on our street--Elizabeth is 8 and is thrilled that Lucy is here, even though she's so much younger. She'll come over and play with Lucy in the house or in the backyard. Her mom says that if she let her, she'd be over here every day, so she restricts her to once a week. And when I'm ready for her to go, I tell her!

DH and I feel really strongly about rooting ourselves in this community and about re-forging the idea of community in general. This philosophy informs a lot of what we do, and so even if I'm a little annoyed when E. shows up, I let her in if it's not truly inconvenient. Plus, I feel like I'm getting to know her so that she can babysit in a couple of years!

My parents always encouraged kids to come over our house. They felt that they'd rather know where we were instead of having us disappear for the afternoon or evening!

I think it probably has a lot to do with the kind of neighborhood one is in as well.

[Earthy Mama]

If I knew the kids' parents, and approved of the home, yes I would let my kid in their home. I would hope other children's parents would have the same rules.

There is this little girl up the street who comes over to play with Maddie. I have never met her parents,They let her roam the neighborhood. I won't let her in the house, not because I don't like her, but her parents don't know where she is. I would freak if my kids were in a stranger's house, and I would think they feel the same.

I just feel uncomfortable about letting other kids in my house when their parents aren't aware. If I know them, and they are ok with their kid in my house, it's a different story.

[mommy2abigail]

Yes, the neighborhood kids are allowed in the house. I agree that I want to be the fun house everyone wants to come to...and I think we are! Our neighbors are all a little older than Abby though, so she's not allowed over to their house unattended yet. When she's a bit older, she will be. All the neighborhood kids come over here, I love it, they entertain dd and I get to do some cooking or sewing!

[Kay11]

For me it depends on the kids. There's a couple of kids up the road from us who are a fair bit older than ds (4) who knock on the door asking to come round to play all the time. I usually ask that they play out in the garden, but occasionally if I'm busy with something in the house I let them play inside with him. It's difficult for me, I don't feel totally comfortable with it, but they come from a really deprived home and their mom often doesn't even know where they are or what they're doing so a part of me thinks I'd rather they were safe in my house than wandering around the streets, which is something they do. Also, they get to see me bf dd who's almost 2 and nurses a LOT so I like to think I'm exposing them to something good outside of their experience.

Unfortunately I don't want my house to be seen as the fun house, but atm for some reason it is. We get loads of kids knocking on the door, or standing at the gate to the garden when we're out there, asking to come in and play. I'm not at all comfortable with it though because I don't know their parents. even to say hello to, so usually I'm polite about it, but refuse.

On the reverse, I'd never let ds and dd play in other kids' houses in our neighbourhood (obviously when they're older, it doesn't apply now) unless I knew the parents really well and they were friends of mine. That's unlikely to happen though atm.

[wildmonkeys]

I have never had a kid stop by without an adult nor are my kids allowed out and about in our neighborhood without an adult. (My oldest is only 8 and we live on a busy road) On the otherhand there are a few families we know well and like and if we bump into each other outside - the kids often end up just going to one house or the other to play without parents coming along or without it being planned in advance. My four year old plays at one neighbors house without me, but the mother and I have become really dear friends over the years, so that is a bit different.

There are also a couple of families that we AVOID at all costs I can not imagine letting my kids in their houses without me and can only imagine having the kids here if there was some sort of emergency and the parents needed help.

[Leatherette]

We have some kids who live across the street. I like them a lot, and I like their mom, but she doesn't provide a whole lot of supervision. They run back and forth across the street on their own (they are 7 and 4, but have been doing this for at least a year, and they never look both ways).

They have come to our house a few times, but it always ends up being longer than their mom says, and once I had to bring them back home to make sure they crossed safely, and I couldn't find the mom. The little boy, though he is really a nice kid, only wants to play with toy weapons, and drags a bunch over from home, since we don't have any.....

So I am not comfortable sending my kids over there, especially my youngest
(3). We live on a residential street, but it is near a major arterial, and people use it as a short-cut all the time. The one time I let them go, because they really wanted to, I hung out on my front porch so I could be sure they weren't being let out onto the street.

The person who used to live next to me was a good friend who was more in line with my views on adequate supervision, and the kids could go back and forth (no street to cross). But we always escorted them and hung out.

L.

[jdedmom]

We are the house to be for the neighborhood kids. We sometimes have 15+ kids in the yard. I have mixed feelings about being the house the kids hang out at. I prefer that my kids are where I can supervise them but most of the kids come over, drag everything out and do not clean up. Most do not use any manners either. Our new rule is that they have to decide on one toy to play and the garage gets shut. It has been a free for all lately.:

I let each of my children invite one guest in if it's raining or too hot but we have a basement playroom that is their terrain

[embers]

I am and have always wanted to be the "hang out house". We have boundaries and expectations, and I have them printed out and clearly posted on one of our walls (and our children know the boundaries and expectations very well). Our kidz range from young child to young teen, and we usually have several friends over throughout the day. We bring friends with us to eat, to go fun places, and generally make them part of our activities when our time, energy, and finances allow. Friday and Saturday are our open days where kids can stay up late and be loud, have music and video games going, and general merriment. During the week children are welcomed over to play and enjoy our home... and I like it this way. I want to be involved, I want to know what my children are doing (and it is really helpful to know what my children's friends are doing...). If there is an exposure to something dangerous or serious, I get to hear about it and help the children process it. There is far less guess work. I am not ever worried that my kids are at someone's home that is not safe, or that they are off doing something dangerous while just hanging out. I really would have it no other way.

[Kristine233]

Since I work at home I can't really be there policing other kids in my house. So I simply don't allow it. If its my friends kids or a playdate that is different/ But random neighborhood kids, nope. We have a yard and all the kids come over and hang out in it. Just not in my house.

[meco]

I always let the neighbor kids come over and play (the ones we know of course). I only have one kid so he gets bored of me at home all of the time. Regular, impromptu playdates. The kids entertain my child, they have fun, he is happy, I am happy, I have time to clean and get things done. We usually play on the stoop weather permitting so we are often outside on the sidewalk. They like to be outside best. Sometimes the parents are out there, sometimes not, and sometimes I am in too. But we live in a rowhouse so they are not far from home, and we trust each other. The parents usually do not come over because it gives them a break, and we can socialize on the stoop. My son does not visit neighbors without me. He is a bit too young. He still needs supervision that most of the kids do not need. There is a definite sense of neighborhood and community with some of my neighbors, which I love. The kids on my street are always welcome at my house--all ages (They range from 3-17). It provides a safe and fun place, and I am happy to provide it.

[jdedmom]

Originally Posted by embers

I am and have always wanted to be the "hang out house". We have boundaries and expectations, and I have them printed out and clearly posted on one of our walls (and our children know the boundaries and expectations very well). Our kidz range from young child to young teen, and we usually have several friends over throughout the day. We bring friends with us to eat, to go fun places, and generally make them part of our activities when our time, energy, and finances allow. Friday and Saturday are our open days where kids can stay up late and be loud, have music and video games going, and general merriment. During the week children are welcomed over to play and enjoy our home... and I like it this way. I want to be involved, I want to know what my children are doing (and it is really helpful to know what my children's friends are doing...). If there is an exposure to something dangerous or serious, I get to hear about it and help the children process it. There is far less guess work. I am not ever worried that my kids are at someone's home that is not safe, or that they are off doing something dangerous while just hanging out. I really would have it no other way.

What a great idea to have the rules posted!! Can you tell me what kind of rules you have?

One of my big problems is when kids come over to play with our toys and not with our kids. Especially my younger two. Most play with my oldest and that's fine but some kids (some my middle sons age) come over just to play basketball. They ignore my son.

I start getting irritated because some kids use my house like a playground where everyone can play anything they want at anytime then leave my kids to clean it up.