Well, to those still struggling with the topic... keep in mind that things (and your feelings and comfort levels) may change (and then change again and again) as your children age from 4 to 14! Plus, there is NOTHING wrong with having boundaries, and honoring your own comforts and interests (not everyone ENJOYS a busy household and many children in and out). I think that I have a gift... a knack... a little pinch of something special insofar that I am at ease with children that are even very difficult or otherwise stressful (special needs, hard family life, etc) and I can manage large groups of kids without sacrificing supervision, connection with my children, my ability to do housework, etc.
My youngest (4) has only one or two friends his age, many that are 6 though 8 (and my next youngest is 8 and she and my youngest "share" many of their friends) and they even regularly play with a few older kids that come more to play with them than my older two (two 11 year old girls and one special needs 16 year old boy, for instance, come to play with my younger two rather often). My older two are young teens and share some of their friends with the younger two (there is a lot of over lap, a lot of inclusion, and very VERY little exclusion... although each child has privacy and space and the ability to do activities in a smaller group... no real arguments or anything, though). The older kids often go skating or shopping, but we are very fortunate to live in a rather safe area within walking distance to playgrounds, skate park, shopping, etc.
After 11pm, none of the kidz can go out and about, but as long as "quiet time" is respected, friends can come over.
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