new up/uc mw drama

[ScarletBegonias]

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...93#post8902193

i feel like i'm admitting defeat, but i have a good feeling about these mw's. i still want to uc and have a secret plan to

*sigh*

i have no words, i am just sad.....and broke.

[flapjack]

I'm so sorry your DH is doing this .

[SamuraiMom]

I'm sorry, I almost lost my HB battle to DH, but I have decided to give up our new bed too! And my weekly Piano lessons, and we will be broke as well in the end. my Wonderful new MW will cost us almost $3200. I am goingt o meet with her next week and see if we can negotiate, which she has said she is willing to do. I hope everything turns out as close to the way you want as possible, and regardless of what does happen, that you have a beautiful and wonderful birth!

[firecat]

oh scarlet, how disappointing for you! I am also planning a "oops" uc though because I haven't been able to get dh on board. Your midwives sound better than mine, but they're still midwives.
Keep visualizing that fast, easy solo birth you want... I think you just might get it
Feel free to pm me if you want.

[LoveChild421]

I'm sorry, these decisions are really hard aren't they? Here's hoping you start labor in the middle of the day when he's not there and he comes home to a baby!

[newcastlemama]

What a bummer....I want to have an "oopps" UC too or at least just have my midwife downstairs so I can be alone with dh in my bedroom.

I hope you have a wonderful birth. Is there any way you can buy some time? Like, keep the mw name and in your 8th month if dh is still not good with the UC call them then?

Jen

[HairyArmpits]

ugh... I'm sorry you have to go through this mama!
I think I would be more sympathetic to your dh's side of things if it weren't for his "I'm doing all the work" comment. I hope for his sake he sees the light soon, because otherwise he will be the one missing out.
Anyway, I'm hoping you will have the birth experience you deserve!

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by LoveChild421

I'm sorry, these decisions are really hard aren't they? Here's hoping you start labor in the middle of the day when he's not there and he comes home to a baby!

oh how i wish *that* was possible! *sigh*

dh is disabled and so he home all. the. time.

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by SamuraiMom

I'm sorry, I almost lost my HB battle to DH, but I have decided to give up our new bed too! And my weekly Piano lessons, and we will be broke as well in the end. my Wonderful new MW will cost us almost $3200. I am goingt o meet with her next week and see if we can negotiate, which she has said she is willing to do. I hope everything turns out as close to the way you want as possible, and regardless of what does happen, that you have a beautiful and wonderful birth!

we really need a new bed, too. oh well. i know that no matter what, i will have a fast, easy, beautiful birth. i heard recently that second births are your reward for first births, no matter how wonderful or difficult the first one was.

[smokeylo]

It sounds like you're in the best possible situation if you can't have the uc you want. And a supportive partner does matter, he could poison the whole birth experience if he's constantly on your back about worries or whatever. Best of luck to you (and see you in the homebirth thread sometimes, maybe?).

[LoveChild421]

Originally Posted by scarletbegonias19

oh how i wish *that* was possible! *sigh*

dh is disabled and so he home all. the. time.

darn...I feel like this is a dynamic that really needs to get worked through before the birth. Why does he feel like he did all the work with your last birth? I don't see how that would be humanly possible, although I'm sure he helped a lot and was very supportive, that's really the most a man can do you know. What does the vibe feel like when he says things like that? Is he insecure? angry? maybe reading Spiritual Midwifery or something like that might get him in tune with how critical it is to have positive energy and really support the mother emotionally.

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by smokeylo

It sounds like you're in the best possible situation if you can't have the uc you want. And a supportive partner does matter, he could poison the whole birth experience if he's constantly on your back about worries or whatever. Best of luck to you (and see you in the homebirth thread sometimes, maybe?).

he is very supportive of hb, he's uncomfortable with uc. i honestly think because i had arom, i had a harder time and needed more support physically than i would have if i had not had arom. because he suffers from chronic pain, me hanging on him for 4 hours hurt physically. maybe he feels like mw's being there would change that?:

we'll see what happens, i'm going to discuss things with him again tonight. and you may very well see me on the hb board.

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by LoveChild421

darn...I feel like this is a dynamic that really needs to get worked through before the birth. Why does he feel like he did all the work with your last birth? I don't see how that would be humanly possible, although I'm sure he helped a lot and was very supportive, that's really the most a man can do you know. What does the vibe feel like when he says things like that? Is he insecure? angry? maybe reading Spiritual Midwifery or something like that might get him in tune with how critical it is to have positive energy and really support the mother emotionally.

the vibe? well, it feels like i'm talking to a mental patient, honestly. like a schizophrenic with a skewered sense of reality.

[flapjack]

It could be, you know? It must be really hard for someone whose body is failing him totally to have total trust in someone else's body.

Here's sending you a three contraction, painless labour. :

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by flapjack

It could be, you know? It must be really hard for someone whose body is failing him totally to have total trust in someone else's body.

Here's sending you a three contraction, painless labour. :

thanks mama! i *love* it!!!

i do like how you put that first sentence though. that makes complete sense to me. i think that line of subconscious reasoning could be a big part of his feelings.