Anyone ever set a limit on a friend's family? - Page 2

[willthiswork]

Stupid question alert: What is double buckling?

[onemoremom]

2 kids, one seat belt.

[willthiswork]

People do that?? No wonder previous posters were so angry about it! I thought it mean knotting the belt or something!

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by ktmama

letting her sleep in their family bed (with dad there)

Woman, where are your stones? You casually drop that in there and you're more upset about the church bit?

Are you the least bit upset that your daughter could have been molested?

[phathui5]

I personally think you are setting yourself up for a rebellion from your daughter.

Yup, you're setting her up to be a Pentecostal Republican.

(No, I'm not joking)

[warriorprincess]

Originally Posted by mtiger

Huh. My daughter's been invited to join friends for services at any number of different denominations/faiths. It never occured to me to be offended. I personally feel it's a really good thing for kids to be exposed to many different ways of believing.

And certainly not half as upsetting as some of the other issues you raised.

I couldn't agree with this more.

[pranamama]

I am not the poster, but maybe it because the courts have given her sole decision making in the divorce about religion and her ex is taking her dd there. I didn't see choosing friends as an option in the divorce papers, or who gets to let dd spend night where.

[holly6737]

Originally Posted by mtiger

Huh. My daughter's been invited to join friends for services at any number of different denominations/faiths. It never occured to me to be offended. I personally feel it's a really good thing for kids to be exposed to many different ways of believing.

Absolutely!! I want my kids to be exposed to all different kinds of faith and cultures! It's about tolerance and diversity. They can pick for themselves which faith suits them best. That's not my decision to make.

[holly6737]

Originally Posted by ktmama

To answer some questions here:

My parenting plan states that I have "sole religious, educational and medical decision making".

Wow. You get to decide what religion your DD is? That's pretty heavy. If it couldn't get her in jail, hurt her physically or kill her I guess I just don't get it.

[pranamama]

there are plenty of devout people who don't give their children the option of staying home on Sunday

[my4magpies]

Originally Posted by mtiger

Huh. My daughter's been invited to join friends for services at any number of different denominations/faiths. It never occured to me to be offended. I personally feel it's a really good thing for kids to be exposed to many different ways of believing.

And certainly not half as upsetting as some of the other issues you raised.

I have to agree there....although I would probably be annoyed also...they DID, however get permission from DD's father...

[aniT]

Originally Posted by choli

Do I have it right that your DD in question is 10? At that age, I would leave the decision whether to attend a religious service up to her, a 10 year old should be able to understand what's being said.

10 year olds are often impressionable and believe everything they hear. So if you take them to church and the minister or whatever starts spouting nonsense about people who are not of their religion going to hell. This could scare a child of that age. Hell I know it scares adults since I once ran into a woman who grabbed my arm and pulled me on my knees crying her eyes out asking me to teach her how to pray. Apparently she had just gone to church for the first time and was told she was going to hell cause she hadn't been before.

My MIL used to send her religious magazines to our house. They would say things on the cover about how the world is coming to an end any day now.. rejoice or some such ridiculousness.

Yes a 10 year old is old enough to understand what is being said, and have the living crap scared out of them. It is my job to protect my child from this type of thing. So yes, I am not going to allow her to go to a strange church.

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

WEll I think some of the other issues need to be resolved, IMHO you are way over overreacting on the church thing. When I was 10 we always went to church and when we had friends over we invited them to come along. Why would we want them to leave when we could spend more time with them? We were never trying to convert them.
Not to sound harsh but it always bothers me when parents say they are going to control which religion (or lack of) their children are going to follow. Even as young as 10 but especially as she becomes a teen- isn't the choice hers? I can't see any logical reason why she could not go to church with a friend if she chooses (and without you.). JMO.

See my reasons above. And a teen is more able to realize what is bull and what isn't. A 10 year old.. not so much.

In this instance however, the family did obtain permission from the father. So if you are angry with anyone over this it should be your ex. They did try to do the right thing.

In my opinion the sleeping in the same bed with another man would be the thing that would keep me from letting my child go over there again. That is just wrong on so many levels.

[RiverSky]

I understand about all those issues, OP, including the religion one, though I wouldn't necessarily stop my child from going to church with a friend.

I totally agree that stopping your daughter from going to this girl's house is not a drastic step, it's the only choice you could have made. Scary, scary family there with very poor decision making.

I would definitely be afraid that your DD would rebel and become a pentecostal republican though and that's a scary thought!!! :

[Gendenwitha]

Originally Posted by aniT

In this instance however, the family did obtain permission from the father. So if you are angry with anyone over this it should be your ex. They did try to do the right thing.

In my opinion the sleeping in the same bed with another man would be the thing that would keep me from letting my child go over there again. That is just wrong on so many levels.

:

[kblackstone444]

ktmama, if you're so worried about what your child has learned at church, have you talked to her about it and used that experience to express your beliefs and the reasons why you believe the way you do?

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by ktmama

To answer some questions here:

My parenting plan states that I have "sole religious, educational and medical decision making".

However, I'd be willing to bet that means you get to decide what religion she will be brought up in and not whether or not Dad is allowed to expose her to other religions casually. Same as you don't get to dictate what books she reads while with Dad or whether she takes a Tylenol if she's got a headache when with him.

Honestly, it's better to talk to the kiddo about your beliefs, how they're different and how they're the same, why you believe what you do. Lead by example.