Fear of starving the baby

[lil_miss_understood]

Just out of curiosity, I'd like to hear from other moms who have had problems with latch and supply. Am I the only one who feels REALLY anxious when their baby has a "good" day (eats and then sleeps for a couple of hours then eats and sleeps again)?
Whenever DS has a "good" day, I start freaking out, scared half to death that I've finally managed to starve him. I practically hover over him the whole time he's sleeping, wringing my hands and praying to God.
So basically, can you reassure me that I'm not just a paranoid freak of nature here?
(Just so you know, I don't think I will have supply problems forever but my mom never produced enough to bf my oldest brother and constantly hammers that into my head, so it's a HUGE fear of mine. She didn't try with my twin brothers or myself for various reasons.)

[JessicaS]

As long as your child is content, going through plenty of diapers, meeting milestones, gaining weight ect ect

Then everything is fine.

It can be a little nerve wrecking for the nursing mom as you are never really sure how much your kid actually ate. But, as long as your child is happy and healthy then they are fine.

Babies do tend to eat more or less depending on what they are doing, if they are working on a milestone they might go on a nursing spree or they just might need extra rest.

You are a little teeny bit paranoid, but that is a normal paranoia what with the baby eating what seems to be "invisible food" So, definitely not a freak of nature, we all probably wonder that at some point.

[lil_miss_understood]

I should clarify that it's rare for DS to seem satisfied. It's a rare day that he doesn't want to constantly nurse and we've had problems with low weight gain. He's apparently not very efficient, removing approximately 2/3 of an oz in 20 minutes of nursing when we've checked.
That's why I refer to these as "good" days- days where he falls asleep contentedly after nursing rather than not being contented all day (with perhaps an exception of 2 feedings).

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

How old is your baby and how much does he weigh? Did you have an intake weight with a lactation consultant? How did you find out about the 2/3oz from the breast? Try using breast massage while babe is nursing to help with let down and insure that babe gets a little more while on the breast. sorry for all the questions but that would help us to give you advice. Hang in thier you can do this. You came to the right place.:

[JessicaS]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

I should clarify that it's rare for DS to seem satisfied. It's a rare day that he doesn't want to constantly nurse and we've had problems with low weight gain. He's apparently not very efficient, removing approximately 2/3 of an oz in 20 minutes of nursing when we've checked.
That's why I refer to these as "good" days- days where he falls asleep contentedly after nursing rather than not being contented all day (with perhaps an exception of 2 feedings).

Oh..that is different.

It might be a good idea to talk to a lactation consultant and perhaps if necessary consider trying some different methods to increase supply.

Start Drinking more water
Oatmeal
Fenugreek
Nursing Mother's teas you can find at HFS

It is normal for some babies to go on marathon nursing sprees due to growth spurts but if they are only getting 2/3 of an ounce in 20 mins then it would probably be best to talk to someone about it.

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by Mamato3wild ponnie

How old is your baby and how much does he weigh? Did you have an intake weight with a lactation consultant? How did you find out about the 2/3oz from the breast? Try using breast massage while babe is nursing to help with let down and insure that babe gets a little more while on the breast. sorry for all the questions but that would help us to give you advice. Hang in thier you can do this. You came to the right place.:

DS is almost 9 weeks now and weighs 10lbs 1oz. His birth weight was 7lbs 9oz. We did have an intake weight with a LC, but it was only for the right side, which is our "problem" side, so I'm not sure what he gets from the left. I usually use breast compression while he's eating on the right but was asked not to for the intake check.
I think part of the problem is that the right side has gotten used to responding to a pump rather than him because I EP'd from that side for the first 6 weeks due to him being unable to latch (that side is inverted). He has learned to latch onto it now but is still having problems extracting milk from it, most days. Like I said, there are good days and bad days, though the good days are rare and don't seem to have anything to do with how he's latched.

I just started with Mother's Milk Tea a couple of days ago after our last LC appointment. I measure out the "minimum suggested" water for the day to make sure I'm getting enough water and usually drink a couple of glasses more than that because I'm thirsty. I eat oatmeal for breakfast but I need to be careful with my fenugreek intake because I'm asthmatic- I don't want to go over what's already in the Mother's Milk Tea.

Unfortunately, it's not just a growth spurt. This has been a consistent problem, all starting with a bad latch which I was assured was a good latch- until I got in to see the LC. It took me weeks to correct the latch problem and now I seem to be having supply problems as a result, so yes, now we're working on that. But for some reason (can't figure out why) there are better days than others. About once a week he'll have a "good" day and it usually freaks me out because of all the problems we've had (combined with my mother's history with my brother- he was admitted to ICU as a baby because she didn't have enough milk for him even though she got engorged etc when her milk came in. I'm guessing she may have had IGT?)

[lil_miss_understood]

Also, I wanted to add, that I have been supplementing 2 oz in the evenings with a SNS. Thankfully I haven't had to use formula to supplement yet though my "stash" of frozen BM from the earlier days is depleted now so it may be necessary in the foreseeable future.:
The SNS is used primarily on the left side though because I find it nearly impossible to use on the right, probably because that's our difficult side to begin with. However, sometimes he'll manage to drink the supplement in 5-10 minutes and other times it takes him 2 hours to finish it. Again, this is one of those things which makes no sense at all to me- the only thing I can think of is that maybe it's warmer when he drinks it faster so it moves through the SNS more quickly/easily?
His weight gain is getting better. It has increased from 2/3 oz/day when we started seeing the LC in the middle of July to 1 oz/day now.

[CountryMom2e]

I had latch problems with DS1, and various problems in the 3+ years I've been nursing one child or the other! I can tell you that with my first, it wasn't until he was about 12 weeks old that I realized he could really holler if he was hungry, so I didn't have to worry too much about his getting enough.

You can always go to your ped for a weight check if you want to be comfortable. But if he's pooping & peeing, and seems to look good (good skin tone, color, crying) then he is probably fine. It DOES get easier! Be confident that your body nourished him for 9 mo, and it can nourish him for the next xxx months too!

Lastly, when I started BFing, I started with the goal of making it through the first 6 mo. Then the first year. Then I realized he still needed nummies just as much (if not more!) as a toddler. Until one day he was 22 mo old and self-weaned. Don't get too caught up with "I don't have enough" or "I don't know how long I can do this" stuff - stay in the moment just like you do with your older child and it will work itself out. GL!

[MaryJaneLouise]

That must be a hard situation to be in, to have "almost enough' but not quite. My low supply problems were more severe so I knew I had to use formula. It was still a mental struggle.

Frequent weight checks might be a good thing for you (but not for everyone). That way you can KNOW that everything is going well, or fix it if it's not.

[RootSnort]

I think everyone gets scared about starving their baby. I am able to count big, heavy diapers. If you have an issue, it might be nice to weigh and log used diapers so that you know that output is steady and can quantify that.

[lil_miss_understood]

Thank you everyone for the reassurance and advice.
MaryJaneLouise, you're my hero. I don't know if I'd have had the mental fortitude to continue breastfeeding with a really low supply. You're a strong, loving mama.
RootSnort, your user name has become a daily word in my home. DH and I both love it. I've been waiting for an opportunity to tell you that.
CountryMom2e, I think you must have been reading my mind. I've been so discouraged lately with nursing and/or pumping taking up the majority of my day. Thanks for your insight.

[RootSnort]

RootSnort is our nickname for DS. He earned this nickname before leaving the hospital, because he Roots and Snorts. While at almost 17 months, he no longer roots, he still snorts! I plan to keep using this name for him for years to come! It is also now the words to many songs sung to DS.

[lil_miss_understood]

I just noticed that your RootSnort's birthday is the day after mine.

[RootSnort]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

I just noticed that your RootSnort's birthday is the day after mine.

March was a very good month!

By the way, I spoke with an LC friend (my mentor), who recommends against weighing diapers unless you're in the hospital and are asked to. Instead, just know the feel of a solid pee-heavy diaper, and count number of diapers. Less to stress about that way.

How are things going?

[lil_miss_understood]

I'm really not sure. I haven't given up yet, anyway.
I think he's just one of those babies that likes to "hang out" on the breast. As soon as I take it away, he gets upset but as soon as he has it back, he'll go to sleep. : Not all the time, but after he seems to have gotten everything he can from me.

[NlGHTgirl]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

Just out of curiosity, I'd like to hear from other moms who have had problems with latch and supply. Am I the only one who feels REALLY anxious when their baby has a "good" day (eats and then sleeps for a couple of hours then eats and sleeps again)?
Whenever DS has a "good" day, I start freaking out, scared half to death that I've finally managed to starve him. I practically hover over him the whole time he's sleeping, wringing my hands and praying to God.
So basically, can you reassure me that I'm not just a paranoid freak of nature here?
(Just so you know, I don't think I will have supply problems forever but my mom never produced enough to bf my oldest brother and constantly hammers that into my head, so it's a HUGE fear of mine. She didn't try with my twin brothers or myself for various reasons.)

i would feel the exact same way as you do, IF my 8 week old ever allowed me detach her from my breast or allow her to stop cuddling in my arms! as it is, she only seems to take a short nap in the afternoon! she can nurse for four hours straight! (esp. in the mornings and evenings!) if she is not feeding constantly::: she feeds every half hour like clockwork!

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by NlGHTgirl

i would feel the exact same way as you do, IF my 8 week old ever allowed me detach her from my breast or allow her to stop cuddling in my arms! as it is, she only seems to take a short nap in the afternoon! she can nurse for four hours straight! (esp. in the mornings and evenings!) if she is not feeding constantly::: she feeds every half hour like clockwork!

Welcome to MDC, NIGHTgirl. My ds is basically the same way, but like I said he has his rare days where he'll let me put him in his crib to sleep. He won't sleep anywhere but in my arms the vast majority of the time though, or beside me at night.

[Iamhappy2BAmom]

YES! I am in the exact same boat. I am currently visiting my family in Texas and will be heading back to LA onThursday. I have caved in a total of 3 times to the "your starving her" preassure. (3-4 oz each) in the last 11 days. Which if you know our history is a VAST improvement- but painful never the less.

B/c I worked extremely hard to increase my milk supply by waking her up and putting her on the breast constantly- she has gotten used to being on my breast none stop and can't seem to be able to sleep without my nipple in her mouth. I find this problematic since I do have to get back to work in a month... I spoke to a few LLL leaders and none of them feel this is a problem. So we shall see.

I do worry about the starving part b/c she has barely made it to 10 pounds (birth weight 8.19) and she is now almost 10 weeks old and about 24 inches. She does look a lot thinner than her counter parts. Recently I noticed that her stomach grumbles a lot. Anyway, trying not to worry too much. But she does have a tendency to fall a sleep at the breast and get's extremely upset when I harass her to wake up and keep feeding.

[lil_miss_understood]

Sorry for not responding sooner, I didn't get a notice about a reply to this topic for some reason. :
It's so difficult not to give in to that pressure, I know. It's one of the many reasons why ds1 ended up only being fed bm for 3 months (very long story I won't get into). It's particularly hard when you've had to struggle to try to get your body to produce enough because then you always kind of wonder "Am I still making enough? Did my supply drop again?"
I hope things are going more smoothly for you now.

[Iamhappy2BAmom]

Thanks!

Still have those thoughts and am threatened by the use of formula now that I need to go back to work and I can only pump a max of 3/4oz per breast per 15-20minute pump session. Very painful. At her 3 month check up she did gain over a pound (11lbs3oz) up 3lbs.2oz since birth. But did not grow length wise. I hate the fact that I am already size obsessing especially when random people come up to me commenting on how surprisingly little she is for her age (i.e. not as plump as most 3 months olds) but when you start out paranoid about feeding the baby enough... (*sigh*)
Another thing that messes with my mental state is the fact that she never seems full... She just nurses all day long.

Anyway- this all seems to be mind over matter... I know so many people are for cutting off formula cold turkey to get the breast milk up, but in hind sight I am not sure I would do it again b/c of the fact she started to not thrive and look skinny for the two weeks I was forcing my breast. The first few months is so important in the development of a child's brain that I think every day counts in the nourishments of the cell- so 2 weeks or so after the first month of minimal nourishment feels so crucial. Emotionally for whatever reason there is many of us have equate formula with illegal drugs Anyway, just venting- I did everything "right" and currently have the baby purely on breast milk. But in hindsight I don't know if I would have done it the same way again.

Hopefully I can get my head on straight when I go back to work and be ok with supplementing if my spare stash is depleted (I've been pumping for over two weeks now and only have 8 oz) and not feel the need to starve her to keep her away from drinking anything else.