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I need HELP!!!! - Page 9

post #161 of 171
If you look at the top of this page, you'll see the headings/subheadings with little > arrows showing you that currently you're in MotheringDotCommune Forums > Health > The Case Against Circumcision. If you click on the MotheringDotCommune link, that will take you to the main forum page (this forum is just a small part of the whole forum).

There is a main heading for Tribal Areas, with subheadings for geographical areas. Here is the link to the tribal area for Georgia, Florida, and Alabama:


Also, you should definitely go over to the Post-partum Depression forum -- lots of great information and support there. Even if you decide meds are not for you, you will get many suggestions on natural therapies to help you combat this problem. At a minimum, I would recommend taking several fish oil capsules a day -- it's healthy oil, helps your brain with issues like depression, and will help your baby's brain deveopment as well as it will make your breast milk healthier. An all-around win-win!

post #162 of 171
Originally Posted by TryingMyBest View Post

Anyway, I think that the beginning of my problem was some post partum depression. Today, I hit rock bottom. I think the shift from anxiety to nothing....shifted me into high gear depression.
I'm so sorry you're feeling so down.

You've made a brave and wise decision and I'm quite sure your son will someday thank you.

Take time to get yourself to a happier place, visit some of the other areas here -- did you know there's a postpartum depression forum? -- but please, please come back when you're feeling up to it.

There are still are a few things you need to know about having an intact son -- like what retraction is and why it's BAD, and how to protect him from people (like grandmas and docs and nurses) who might try to retract him. Or what separation trauma is and what it looks like.

I don't want you to think that these things are scary, though, and you seem to be in a fragile place right now.

So please remember this... Foreskins are not something to be afraid of. They're no more dirty or prone to disease than any other part of the body.

I have great respect for you and your dh for making what was a difficult decision for you.

Take care mama.
post #163 of 171
There are safe meds you can take while bfing Zoloft is the best. I wouldnt be alive today without taking it I had ppd so bad. So dont let bfing stop you. I took it for 15months after my dd and around 5months after my ds they are both fine and they both still have their mommy.

If you feel like you need meds then take them dont allow yourself to suffer when it is preventable.
post #164 of 171
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys! I am feeling better this evening even though DH is completely mortified of me. I kept clinging to him trying to feel better...and I think he thought I was going to start humping his leg or something. Oh well...he had to get out of the house for a while. He has never seen me so irrational and out of my head as I was this week. I am embarassed to even read half the stuff I have written on this board or my regular board. Ughghghghghghghghgh. I am a moderator and forum leader on that site....so...probably going to abuse my privaledge and scurge the permanent record all Ferris Bueller like.

Anyway, I got on the Atlanta page and sent a "Shout Out" out on a play group thingy. So maybe there are some girls around here that wanna get together.

My little monster is snoozing in my lap finally...I think he is starting to decompress too. Always have to wonder what all the little boogers pick up on. He was SO tense.

Anyway, thanks!
post #165 of 171
I'm so happy for your family. Take care of yourself and your little ones.

post #166 of 171
Originally Posted by TryingMyBest View Post
I hate to say it but it seems that white girls are the most "squeamish" about it..they have kind of nasty attitudes about oral sex on uncirced guys in some cases.
You're looking at this through the perspective of someone who grew up in an era where intact was the oddity. Remember that in the 1980s, the vast majority of American newborns were circumcised. So the vast majority of men in their 20s and 30s are circumcised. Our kids generation is the one where circumcision has fallen from being the overwhelmingly common choice to done a little more than half. When our own kids are adults having sex every other man will be intact. Intact will no longer be the oddity it is among 20 and 30-somethings it is today. When our sons are intact women their age won't think twice before giving them oral because by then the intact penis will be perfectly normal.
post #167 of 171
Originally Posted by TryingMyBest View Post
A VALID fear to worry that your child will not be happy with your decision EITHER WAY.
It might help you if you stop thinking of leaving your son intact as a decision you have to make. As Papai said, that's like saying you made the decision not to pull your son's eyeballs out. Leaving a human being with all the normal and healthy body parts he was born with is simply the right thing to do.
post #168 of 171
Here I go with the waaaay TMI, but the first guy I ever performed oral sex on was intact. And this was when I was in 9th grade in West Virginia. Let me tell you, I am sure he was an oddity, but I "loved him" ( "" because I was 15 what did I know :P) I didnt have a problem.

My son only has one testicle, I figure, if a girl likes him enough to be that close to tell, she will have a lot of other reasons for liking him and she wont care. Oh and he is intact, which is funny because I worry about the testicle thing more, his intact state I dont even worry with. go figure
post #169 of 171
Originally Posted by TryingMyBest View Post
315 this morning I am pacing the bedroom. The baby can sense the tension and he is awake too. The first time since my milk came in that he was awake at an odd time. He is a pleasant baby that sleeps more than through the night at 3 days old. Crazy good.

DH can't sleep either, he feels nauseous and sick to his stomach so he's on the computer. He asks why I am up. I tell him I am having a hard time sleeping. He says well, it's over now. I asked him what he meant and he said..I made the decision. We are not going. I asked him why, he said don't ask me anything. I made the decision, now leave it alone. I still don't know what happened.

No matter what any of you say, there is a relief and I feel better. But, I am also scared. Embarassed or not by this piece of information but going that far against the grain in a community with 90% circ rates is scary. It is completely backward to say that...but we cannot deny our feelings right? I didn't feel strong enough to deal with it "forever"....KWIM? It still feels weird to have EVERYONE (short of you guys) tell you to do it, it feels foreign. I worry for any effects it will have on my house. This was the flip side to my decision. I am hoping that the relief of not hurting this baby will continue to override those fears. I will have to find a strong support network to help out. NOONE I know has NOT circed their boys.

Either way, I am exhausted and I am going to bed.
post #170 of 171
You're doing the right thing.
post #171 of 171
So, honestly...you ladies didn't regret leaving your sons intact afterward....for fear of the future? That is a breath of fresh air if so!
No, just the opposite. I'm incredibly relieved and thankful that my firstborn wasn't circumcised due to our ignorance. We knew nothing, so it could have easily gone the other way.

I was just at a family gathering (where I'm sure 95% of the males were circumcised) and saw a baby boy, ten weeks old. He was always in arms, breastfed and big and healthy. And fussy, edgy. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd been put through the trauma of circumcision. Sure enough. When I saw his exposed glans I felt so, so bad for him. And bad for his parents, who, being as loving as they are, surely simply didn't know better. If they knew what they'd done, they'd be overwhelmed with guilt and grief. I don't even want to think about how I'd feel now if I'd allowed that to be done to my son, to only later realize how awful and unnecessary it is.
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