Questions we First-Timer Mommas have for the Experienced Mommas - Page 4

[smokeylo]

Thanks for your insights. It's so weird to be waiting to feel something I've literally never experienced before. I think I may have felt one or two tiny pokes in the last few days, but I think it will just take more action to confirm that. I'll try lying on my tummy for a little bit to see if I get anything. I love my baby!

[mosesface]

i've got a new question!

how long after the baby is born do you have the baby tummy? i'm not talking weight gain, i mean the large, rounded, pregnant looking tummy.

i'm asking purely out of curiosity. i've been watching a lot of the baby shows on tv and realized i had never thought about the fact that your belly doesn't just "deflate" immediately!

[Nature]

Originally Posted by mosesface

i've got a new question!

how long after the baby is born do you have the baby tummy? i'm not talking weight gain, i mean the large, rounded, pregnant looking tummy.

i'm asking purely out of curiosity. i've been watching a lot of the baby shows on tv and realized i had never thought about the fact that your belly doesn't just "deflate" immediately!

I lost the obvious pregnant looking tummy right after birth. Because.. well.. there isn't a 10 lb baby in there anymore. However, the deflated basketball saggy looking smooshy belly is there for a good 6 months for me. And then it turns into just a smooshy belly for the next 10 years. My abs are gone for good I do believe. A lot of the weight loss stuff is really individual.

[kluella]

I'm not in your DDC (I'm due 3/13) but it's so good to hear more specific descriptions of what the baby moving feels like. I'm 90% sure that I have felt the babe twice now, it felt like a grasshopper for just the briefest of moments, but it was like nothing I had ever felt before. The description a pp gave of it feeling like holding a jumping frog in your hands is just what I felt. I like this thread!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by mosesface

i've got a new question!

how long after the baby is born do you have the baby tummy? i'm not talking weight gain, i mean the large, rounded, pregnant looking tummy.

i'm asking purely out of curiosity. i've been watching a lot of the baby shows on tv and realized i had never thought about the fact that your belly doesn't just "deflate" immediately!

For about a two weeks after you give birth, even the skinniest people pre-birth still look kind of pregnant-ish. They don't look nine months along, but right afterwards you look a good six-seven, and it slowly deflates. If you're one of the lucky, tiny, skinny people, you might look almost normal at the end of two weeks. If you're a fat person with no figure pre-pregnancy, you'll look pretty normal (for you) in relatively short order. If, however, you are a medium-to-fat person *with* a figure, you probably have longer to wait. I have never gotten back to what I looked like before I had kids-- when it starts to get to that point... I get pregnant again! :

This time around, I'm figuring that I'll look like my between-baby, typical self within moments of birth (because I've looked five months pregnant since the water loss after the birth of my son... except when I was further along than that). That's the "fat person without a figure" scenario. However, as this is our *last baby*, I will start making concerted efforts to lose weight once my milk and the baby's growth pattern are both well established. This could be anywhere from 12 to 24 months post-partum; it'll all depend on what sort of nursling SeaMonkey turns out to be. If he's like BeanBean and Bella, it'll be closer to 24 months before I can do anything that might affect my supply without feeling guilty. If he's like BooBah, it'll happen earlier (she self-weaned at 15 months; to put it into perspective, BeanBean fully intends to nurse after SeaMonkey is born, and Bellatrix LeBella is nursie-obsessed as well at 17 months).

I know my waist still exists-- I fully intend to find it before my 35th birthday.

[eilonwy]

Oh-- as Nature said, the sagginess is, for the most part, a fact of life after having a baby. If you REALLY bust your hump, you can get nice, hard abs again... but normal people find it difficult to impossible. Things move and change in there, and the changes really ought to be considered, for all practical intents, permanent. Even if you get back to your original size/shape, or smaller, things will likely be mushier. I've met some super tiny people who were super tiny after having kids, but still not bikini-wearing material. I know one in particular who is perfectly comfortable in her size 1 jeans, just like she was before pregnancy, but even young, flexible teenaged skin had to pay the price. She doesn't have stretch marks, and she's by no means fat or flabby... but things are softer and very different from before birth. One of her friends was even less lucky-- at 18 she had twins. They'll be two in a few weeks and her tummy's still a soft, flabby mess, despite the fact that mom is probably only a size five when she's bloated and expecting her period.

[TrishWSU]

Definetly plan on wearing some of your maternity clothes for several weeks PP. I gained 25lbs w/ DD and I was active and working out throughout the pregnancy and had a little belly and overall did not feel like my body had changed much, so I thought I'd be right back into my pre-pregnant clothes-WRONG! About a month before I was due I bought a pair of size 16 jean shorts figuring they would fit fine since I was a 10/12 pre-preggo-again WRONG! I tried to put them on about 2 weeks PP and actually started crying because I couldn't get them over my hips! Things can really shift and change without you realizing it. Over about 6 months I was "deflating" then I leveled out for a while until I made an effort to lose some weight and tighten up. Even though I got back into my pre-pregnant jeans and below my pre-pregnant weight (3 years later!) I am still a bit flabbier and there's definetly more of me in some places that just won't leave!

So I guess that's all to say, don't expect to jump up and put on your pre-preggo pants! It'll take a long time to get back to being close to your pre-preggo body, but you'll never get it back all the way.

I really wish someone had explained all that to me!

[Teenytoona]

I'm reviving this thread for another question, one serious, one a little silly...

Serious:
I keep reading folks saying that the end of term internal exams tend to range from uncomfortable to painful... This leads me to believe that DTD is too. That is not something I'd be happy about. Boo. Not to mention if we need regular prostaglandin "injections" at that point, that it would suck if it's uncomfy. Is DTD at the end of pg uncomfy? Does it feel significantly different?

Sorta silly:
The little Stewmeiser has been really active the last few days, and I thought it could be just her/him getting fun, or I've been drinking honey in my teas the last few days, maybe s/he dis/likes honey. Then I wondered, I know babies aren't supposed to have honey before they're 1 (poor little dears), but is it ok for me to have and the babe to have in utero? Or is the baby-honey ban due to the physical properties of honey? 'Cuz if s/he likes it, the poor dear will have to wait a good long while until s/he can have it again.

[eilonwy]

Serious:
I keep reading folks saying that the end of term internal exams tend to range from uncomfortable to painful... This leads me to believe that DTD is too. That is not something I'd be happy about. Boo. Not to mention if we need regular prostaglandin "injections" at that point, that it would suck if it's uncomfy. Is DTD at the end of pg uncomfy? Does it feel significantly different?

Very, very, VERY different. First of all, your man's going to make sure that you are totally ready... and given your pregnant state, for most women that's much easier. Secondly, while you might find the missionary position impossible, you have a plethora of options for DTD; Totally impossible when it comes to internal exams. Thirdly, the things that are painful about internals (aside from the position, and at this point you've probably already noticed that lying flat on your back is uncomfortable to say the least, and lubrication, which can be helped) have to do with scraping (e.g. swab tests for ferning) or touching (checking cervical length & dilation). Jamming two fingers up to your cervix is unpleasant at the best of times, but when you're pregnant and in an unnatural position and you've just endured a speculum, it sucks ass. When you're DTD, if (sorry if it's too graphic : ) there are fingers involved, they probably don't get *that* far inside of you.

As an aside, there is rarely an actual need for third trimester internals, and the GBS swab should be brief and relatively simple should you decide to do it. Please inform yourself before you agree to submit to them, okay?

Sorta silly:
The little Stewmeiser has been really active the last few days, and I thought it could be just her/him getting fun, or I've been drinking honey in my teas the last few days, maybe s/he dis/likes honey. Then I wondered, I know babies aren't supposed to have honey before they're 1 (poor little dears), but is it ok for me to have and the babe to have in utero? Or is the baby-honey ban due to the physical properties of honey? 'Cuz if s/he likes it, the poor dear will have to wait a good long while until s/he can have it again.

Your Stewmeiser probably does enjoy the honey-- as your blood sugar rises, the babe gets more energy and becomes more active. The prohibition against honey is due to botulinum toxin, which is often present in trace amounts in the honey. These amounts are too small to cause any problems for adults or even most healthy toddlers, but teensy weensy immature systems are more fragile and thus at greater risk for illness. It's not the taste as much as the sugar (honey is primarily composed of what's called "invert sugar;" a combination of fructose and glucose which is particularly easy for human bodies to utilize-- that's why it tastes SO sweet) that makes your little one so happy. Orange juice should cause a similar effect. For at least a year after birth, though, all of the little person's honey will have to be second-hand through the nursies.

[Teenytoona]

Not too graphic for me, Eilonwy, I ask the questions here, because I know you all will be frank. Good to know about internals vs DTD! Whew! I really don't know my opinions on internals (haven't studied up too much on them), but I suspect there will be times I have the curiousity to know how it's coming along. Especially if we near, oh say leap day and Stewie has not emerged!

Good to know about the honey! So my processing it makes it all safe for the babe! That's a relief, because I really like honey. Seems Stewmeister does too! Either that or s/he wants to play.

Eilonwy, you are such a wealth of knowledge... Dude I'm not worthy!

[MamaBBrown2003]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

Serious:
I keep reading folks saying that the end of term internal exams tend to range from uncomfortable to painful... This leads me to believe that DTD is too. That is not something I'd be happy about. Boo. Not to mention if we need regular prostaglandin "injections" at that point, that it would suck if it's uncomfy. Is DTD at the end of pg uncomfy? Does it feel significantly different?

I would have to admit that dtd can become a bit more awkward toward the end, but nothing like a cervical exam. I HATE cervical checks, partly because I'm not a big fan of having my cervix fondled, and partly because the info is useless (at least for me.) With dd#2, a "routine check" at 38 weeks found me to be 2-3 cm, and I was told to expect labor very soon. That night I went to the hosp. with contractions and was 4cm. Then I fell asleep and everything stopped. She was born a full month later. I spent that whole month thinking "any moment now" simply because I knew the state of my cervix.

The last week or two of pregnancy, I have such mixed feelings about dtd. I love the idea of it and I'm usually ready to do it just to get the baby out!. Also knowing that I'll be going without for a few weeks motivates me, however, my belly gets huge and the logistics of it become very odd. LOL!

By far, though, my least favorite exams are those during labor, and I don't really want any done this time around. I would assume I would have similar feelings about dtd while in active labor as well, but I've never tried that.

[Steady101]

Originally Posted by mosesface

i've got a new question!

how long after the baby is born do you have the baby tummy? i'm not talking weight gain, i mean the large, rounded, pregnant looking tummy.

i'm asking purely out of curiosity. i've been watching a lot of the baby shows on tv and realized i had never thought about the fact that your belly doesn't just "deflate" immediately!

I went right to the delfated belly after birth. It was just a big pile of jelly. Nothing like you see on the shows and they still look pregnant. However, I don't gain weight while pregnant. SO maybe it has to do with how much you gain.

[Steady101]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

Very, very, VERY different. First of all, your man's going to make sure that you are totally ready... and given your pregnant state, for most women that's much easier. Secondly, while you might find the missionary position impossible, you have a plethora of options for DTD; Totally impossible when it comes to internal exams. Thirdly, the things that are painful about internals (aside from the position, and at this point you've probably already noticed that lying flat on your back is uncomfortable to say the least, and lubrication, which can be helped) have to do with scraping (e.g. swab tests for ferning) or touching (checking cervical length & dilation). Jamming two fingers up to your cervix is unpleasant at the best of times, but when you're pregnant and in an unnatural position and you've just endured a speculum, it sucks ass. When you're DTD, if (sorry if it's too graphic : ) there are fingers involved, they probably don't get *that* far inside of you.

As an aside, there is rarely an actual need for third trimester internals, and the GBS swab should be brief and relatively simple should you decide to do it. Please inform yourself before you agree to submit to them, okay?



Your Stewmeiser probably does enjoy the honey-- as your blood sugar rises, the babe gets more energy and becomes more active. The prohibition against honey is due to botulinum toxin, which is often present in trace amounts in the honey. These amounts are too small to cause any problems for adults or even most healthy toddlers, but teensy weensy immature systems are more fragile and thus at greater risk for illness. It's not the taste as much as the sugar (honey is primarily composed of what's called "invert sugar;" a combination of fructose and glucose which is particularly easy for human bodies to utilize-- that's why it tastes SO sweet) that makes your little one so happy. Orange juice should cause a similar effect. For at least a year after birth, though, all of the little person's honey will have to be second-hand through the nursies.

What she said. We don't do internals.

[Steady101]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

Not too graphic for me, Eilonwy, I ask the questions here, because I know you all will be frank. Good to know about internals vs DTD! Whew! I really don't know my opinions on internals (haven't studied up too much on them), but I suspect there will be times I have the curiousity to know how it's coming along. Especially if we near, oh say leap day and Stewie has not emerged!

Good to know about the honey! So my processing it makes it all safe for the babe! That's a relief, because I really like honey. Seems Stewmeister does too! Either that or s/he wants to play.

Eilonwy, you are such a wealth of knowledge... Dude I'm not worthy!

I admit that I wanted to know how effaced and dilated I was because everyone else knew what they were. That said it just wasn't common practice in England for them to do them. I did check myself twice though. I told dh I wasn't going to the hospital/birthing center before I was a 6. And I checked at 2 and at 6. When I got there they checked me and said I was just past a six.

[flapjack]

Uh-huh. In theory, I didn't want internals. In practice, I was desperate to know if the month of beautiful birth stories was actually doing anything useful like dilating my cervix, and so my husband checked. Midwives, especially in labour, will be deliberately rough with your cervix to stimulate stronger contractions. This may stall your labour temporarily whilst your body goes "whoa, what the hell just happens there?" It may not.
AND, on the subject of sex in late pregnancy, right now sex is way good for me because my cervix has disappeared right out of reach and we can do anything we want as long as it doesn't involve me parting my legs. (figure that one out, and feel free to suggest positions.) Then baby's head starts to descend into the pelvis with the cervix tucked neatly away behind it. THEN the cervix ripens and moves down to in front of the head, where it is very ripe, very potent and very tender. At that point, it's a rollercoaster.
Has everyone seen shape of a mother, btw?