Parents not home- do you allow your young teen to go in?

[AbundantLife]

I have set a rule that my kids were not allowed to go into a home if the parents are not home. When my kids reach the age of driving, then I allow it. While they are still young teens, I have not allowed this. What are your rules regarding this with your kids?

[Arduinna]

Nope, but my kid only hangs with people we know. I could see it if you didn't know the people at all.

[Ruthla]

Once my kids are old enough to be home alone, I see no problem with them being home at a friend's house without a parent there. That's aruond age 10 or 11. I've never had a problem with a teenaged older sibling babysitting while my children were visiting somewhere.

I always double check with friend's parents though, if I'm the hostess, before leaving with a young guest over. I would never assume that another parent is comfortable with the same things I am. I wouldn't allow a young guest to watch TV either without checking with the child's parents.

I've had times when planning a playdate, and the other mom told me "I'll have to leave at X time for an appt, but the adult nanny or housekeeper will be there." or the nanny met the school bus and then the parents came home an hour or two later. Even when my girls were in grade school, I didn't have a problem with that- there's an adult in the house!

[enkmom]

When my kids were younger, they would often spend the afternoon with a friend who stayed home alone while his/her parents were at work. I was aware of the situation and had talked to the parents, and it was fine. For a neighborhood friend, I preferred that the kids played at our house, just to avoid a problem.

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

I'm not really sure what age we're talking about exactly but at 10-13 no. At that age I was not allowing my son to go to homes without parental supervision and I was not allowing other kids in my home without a parent present either. Oh and I also didn't allow him to go over for sleepovers when the parents were not going to be home the whole time...this was an issue when he was around 13-15.
Now that my son is 16 I can't really control the other house thing but I have a rule about nobody in my house when I'm not home.

[Jenlaana]

My son is 12, and I let him do this because his friend lives right across the street from us, so I have a bit of an idea of what is going on (i.e. nobody else is showing up that shouldn't bet and they're not running the neighborhood) and if there is a problem I'm only 50 ft away.

If it wasnt nextdoor I would not let my DS until he was a little bit older I think. It would really depend on him, the other kid, their maturity level, etc.

[UnschoolnMa]

If we don't know someone it might make me a bit uncomfortable. We'd work something out...

Mostly mine just hang out with people we know pretty well or at least enough that it's not an issue.

[sunnysideup]

I trust my teen daughter and her friends. I don't have a problem with them being alone.

If it was a situation where I didn't know the friend, or it made me uncomfortable for some reason, I'd explain that to my daughter and we'd come up with a plan.

[Jessy1019]

I would go with, once my kids were old enough to be left home alone, I wouldn't mind them being at a friend's without the parents there. I figure that will happen around 10-11, like another poster said.

[mtiger]

Depends entirely on the friend. My kids have friends that are welcome in our home (and vice versa) regardless of a parent's presence. There are others who cannot be here unless I am - and mine aren't allowed at their place unless one of their parents is. Some kids are simply more trustworthy than others.

[Arduinna]

What are people worried is going to happen without a parent?

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

What are people worried is going to happen without a parent?

As an example... my son has one friend who's a nice enough kid, but has lousy impulse control. He has tried to get alcohol at other friends' homes. I don't lock up the booze I have (not a lot, but a wine rack, some vodka in the freezer and some rum). I'm not taking that chance.

Let's add that he has had a crush on my daughter for years. And while I know he won't act on it normally, should he sneak some booze? He might. And he's bigger than my boy so he wouldn't be able to stop him. Not taking that chance either.

So he's welcome under supervision. Not otherwise. His parents are aware and agree.

[kathymuggle]

I let my 11 yr old stay ome for up to an hour alone. Up until recently, he was to stay in the house and let no one in. Just this past week, I let him stay home with 1 friend for about 1/2 hour. I know this friend, and trust both my son and his friend.

So I guess we are enterring the state where the answer depends on the friend and the amount of time in question.

I would not allow it in any scenario for a young teen where 'groups" were hanging out without supervision. I have seen too much go wrong.

[alllyssa]

If the other kid's parents aren't home, then they can come to our house. Of course, they can come over to our house even if the other kid's parents are home, but I don't see any reason to hang out somewhere where there are no parents home if I am home. I think it's just potentially asking for trouble.

[alllyssa]

Just read thru the other posts and I'm shocked:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna
What are people worried is going to happen without a parent?

I'm sorry, but this seems like a really naive question : It hasn't been that long since I was a teenager and I know exactly what might happen when parents aren't around. Have you forgotten what you got away with when you're parents weren't home? Or were you just a really good kid?

[Tishie]

My kids are allowed to stay home alone, so they are allowed to be alone with their friends who are also allowed to be alone (as long as it's okay with the other parents).

However,

Let's add that he has had a crush on my daughter for years. And while I know he won't act on it normally, should he sneak some booze? He might. And he's bigger than my boy so he wouldn't be able to stop him. Not taking that chance either.

So he's welcome under supervision.

If I don't trust someone (like, if I thought they might try to rape my daughter), they aren't allowed in my home no matter what.

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

What are people worried is going to happen without a parent?

Hmmm well there were a few things that we did that we probably shouldn't have been doing but these two things instantly came to mind: Truth or Dare and a lot of spin the bottle with my best friend, her older brother and his friends. No and no not all the dares were sexual but yes clearly inappropriate and would not have been asked or attempted if a parent was home.